A Moment of Inattention...

[JimInVA]

Started as a beautiful morning! I was up at 4AM to get a jump on the day. I'm able to do a lot of work on client computers, remotely. So early morning, before Darcey is up and about, works great. At 7:30AM, I went upstairs and greeted Darcey with hugs, kisses and smiles. The sun was already shining on a day that would be in the 70s. Wednesday is one of our shower days. So with range of motion exercises well accomplished, it was into the shower chair and off to the shower. When we had our shower built, I had them put in a sitting area. The thought was that this would be for Darcey... but by the time the shower was finished, Darcey was long past being able to use it. Because it is tile, I take the portable shower head, crank the water up to its hottest and spray the seating area. if I don't, I'm in for a bit of a surprise when I sit down. Because I keep the hot water at 120 degrees it warms the seat up lickety split. The higher temp also allows time enough for our longer showers and twin shower heads.

It is always a treat to watch the face that Darcey makes when I push her into the warm water. It is one of absolute ecstasy. Today was no exception - the same face was there... but I immediately sensed that something was very wrong. Before I could completely take in the individual indicators (mouth round in an O with no sound... eyes wide as almost in panic), I was pulling her back out of the shower streams. And then I understood. That one shower head... the one that was streaming down on her head and right shoulder... was still at 120 degrees. I struggled to turn it away from her even as I was attempting to pull her away from it. I moved it colder and sprayed the now red areas. And I saw a 7" wide blister rise and immediately pop from the spray.

I called my 27 year old daughter and asked for advice. It seems strange that the Dad is asking the daughter for advice. But she just went through something similar when her boyfriend carried a pan of burning oil and tossed it out the back door... drenching his forearm with the pan's burning hot contents. So Connie said she'd grab their leftover supplies and would be on the way.

We did not go into work, today. Once I got Darcey bandaged, I put her back into bed. And I've kept her there the entire day. She says the pain is not too bad... but I did encourage her to take a pain pill early on... and she took another one 7 hours later. Tonight was also to be a family night at Mom's house... our first in a while. We regretted without explanation. Darcey was concerned with how devastated I was at the whole thing (it was absolutely my fault)... and I think she was trying to protect me.

And so... we spent our first mid-70s day sequestered away in our upstairs bedroom. Sigh....

Jim

 

[scaredwifetx]

Jim, I am so sorry and know you feel terrible. You are a great husband and do your very best to keep Darcy comfortable and happy. There will be more beautiful 70s days ahead. Hope you get some rest tonight and its a much better day tomorrow.

 

[Annie's Phil]

So sorry to hear of your beloved Darcey's injury. I pray she heals quickly and the pain subsides even sooner. I know how badly you must feel, but don't be too hard on yourself. Your love and dedication to her care can't be concealed.

Grace and comfort to you both.

 

[GilWest]

Sometimes you can do everything right and still things happen. It is an impossible situation really...

 

[Nuts]

Oh Jim, I know how bad you must feel, but please try not to be too hard on yourself. We have a LOT to keep on top of, and you take marvelous care of your lovely bride.

There are worse places to spend a nice day than in the bedroom :wink:

 

[LifeEnthusiast]

ALS or not, we have all had something similar happen. I can think back 25 years ago when my father was dying of cancer. More recently with my Mom, who has advanced Alzheimer's disease. In the latter situation, I forget I can't support her weight when I try to help her into or out of a chair. There have been many a bad bruise and many a frightened stare on/from both of us. But we move forward.

I have a friend who is a doctor and actually made her father's illness worse due to an oversight. It happens.

No doubt you feel/felt devastated, but please don't beat yourself up. To err is human. To love is forever. And that is what will be remembered. Tomorrow you'll both get out and enjoy the lovely weather and all will be forgotten.

 

[affected]

I read your story with such trepidation, refusing to jump to the end but let it unfold. I'm so glad you didn't need hospital attention, but do watch it for infection in a couple more days. There are some fantastic burn healing creams that you keep in the fridge and they soothe the pain as well as promote the healing.

Just tell Darcey I said - thankfully we don't treat burns by covering her shoulder in maggots and wrapping it up for a week now .... :lol: if you don't find something to laugh at you would fall down and weep, that's for sure.

You are still an awesomely amazing carer

 

[bigmark1954]

Don't let this haunt you Jim.....even honest mistakes can be brutal to stave off.
You did not mean to hurt her, and she knows that. The moral of the story is you will never let this happen again.
I hope Darcy's burn heals quick.

 

[gooseberry]

Jim, Please dont beat yourself up. Accidents happen. I know you will take care of the burn very attentively showing her your love as you do it. Hugs.

 

[Ells]

Jim,

What struck me most was just how tender and loving you are towards Darcey. To be greeted with hugs and kisses every day must make her feel wonderful. You sound such a caring man Jim, she's a lucky lady.

Don't beat yourself up over the hot water accident!

Ells.

 

[Diane H]

Jim, you did everything right. A water heater set at 120 degrees is the recommended temperature to prevent burns. It is the water heater that malfunctioned, not you!

 

[JimInVA]

Thank you, all, for your many kind remarks. Darcey insists that it hurt me much more than it hurt her. Today we had a previously scheduled appointment with one of Darcey's neurologists. He seemed quite satisfied with my bandaging and provided a prescription for the same ointment that we'd borrowed from my daughter. Darcey says it is much, much better today. Again, thanks for drawing up the wagons and circling around me/us. We are all much better with this new day in hand!

Jim

 

[ShiftKicker]

I'm late to the game, but I support everyone else's comments. I had a moment similar when I was a young mother. I was at a wedding and wanted to give my infant son a quick rinse under the tap because a damp cloth just wasn't up to the job of dealing with what he'd produced. I turned it on, felt it (warm) and shoved his behind under the water (in which time had gone up to boiling) and he started screaming like a banshee. I thought I'd seriously scarred him for life. I empathize with how you feel. I'm glad Darcy is recovering so quickly, and am thankful you are doing ok to.