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olly

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please pray for delb

i have been in contact with an old friend of del,s.
he sent me this email today explaining del,s situation and it is really bad.
i hope all you doubters out there are ashamed of the way you treated del.
sorry but i am upset beyond words right now.


Caroline,



Looked at your e-mail at 1:30PM our time. Yesterday we were off for Thanksgiving and I came in today just to make the deposit to the bank otherwise we are closed.



Del is not doing well. Del has little muscle control but still manages to write. Even holding his head up is very difficult.



Feeding tube went OK. His does miss taking in food and drink through his mouth.



Able to go home. I doubt that he will be going home. His wife called and said she would try to get him transferred to a VA (military) hospital to spend his remaining days. She has not seen Del since the feeding tube was put in about 23 days ago. Del thinks he is in Hell at Traymore. The five days with out fulltime staff due to the holiday and weekend will be very hard on Del. No one seems to care.



His things will not be taken to the nursing home, they would just get stolen by people there and there is way too much to take. His wife wants to sell everything and use the money for Del’s care. Starting this week his co-pay will be $128.00 per day and neither Del nor his wife plan to pay this amount.



Thank you for getting the word out on where Del is.



Rolex has been a joy for our family, my wife adores him. You may know that I got Rolex for Del and after he got out of the yard twice Del said that if he shows up I should take him. Rolex showed up at an animal shelter and my wife rushed to pick him up. A wonderful dog.



When Del first went to Traymore I went to see him and asked that he be taken to where he could use a computer. I repeated this on every visit and two days ago I asked Del if he ever got on the computer and he indicated no. Del’s step son, James called twice when he was in Dallas and I asked him to take certain things to Traymore. He took a couple of things but not the important items like his voice machine. And I even asked James about getting Del on the computer and he promised to take his wireless laptop to Traymore, this did not happen.



I need to run. Will be back in the office on Monday, December the 1st.



Thank you again for being a friend to Del.





Grace and peace,

Bruce L. Loll.
 

crystalkk

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Caroline,

I will be praying for Dell, I can't even imagine being in a situation like that with barely anyone
around to even care.
 

rose

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Hi Caroline, I was not yet on the forum when Delb was active very much, so I'm not very familiar with his story.

It is a crying shame that he is being stripped of everything that means something to him, - his dog, his voice communication device as well as lap top. I don't imagine anything can be done about the dog, unless they will allow visits at the hospital he goes to (a friend I grew up with that was in hospice, was allowed to have her dog stay every night with her, so its not unheard of).

Maybe the ALS or MDA can get a social worker to go to his home and get these things. If it took a court order, then anyone could get them, but a social worker usually is diplomatic and might be able to do this in a timely manner without causing too many waves. - actually in re-reading your post, I'm not sure if the laptop is Delb's or the stepson's.... but again, that is why a social worker could be useful, as it sounds like if it is the stepson, James', at the time your mutual friend spoke with him, James sounded amenable to getting it to Delb so he could use it.

How awful that anyone should be in these circumstances!
 

Icanmanz

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Hi olly! Thanks a bunch for the update on delb. May God bless him. Yeah, I remember all his "unbelievable" posts. olly, my question is: Why should the doubters (ALS forum members) be ashamed for the way they treated delb? I, for one, remember such posts. I, for one, pleaded with him to please get out of that relationship with that "devil woman." I always thought he did not have to suffer so (due to her treatment.) He was treated so badly by this evil woman. When delb could not take it anymore he was being placed where he is at right now, and it could have been done when she was kicking him around! Our members are not mean people, they tried to help, they just got tired of the same old story over and over, and yet delb still clinged to the "devil" his wife! We tried and tried. I thank our Father he is finally in a safe place away from Satan (his wife.) I am happy to hear Rolex is okay. Will be praying for our friend, delb. Thanks for the update, and please be easy on our members, they have nothing to do with the way things turned out with delb. I, for one witnessed that they tried to help. God bless you!

Irma
 

Al

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Thank you Irma for putting my feelings into words better than I could. I wish delb well.

AL.
 

lydia

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Caroline, I am so sorry to hear about Delb. It is so clear you care about him so much; the whole situation is so heartbreaking.

Lydia
 

Beebe

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So Sorry to hear about Delb's situation. He never had the caring he should have had. That Woman! Tell him Hello from me. Fondly, Beebe
 

lovelily

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Hello Caroline...I will put him in my prayers! May God bless him. I am so sorry for his suffering! :(
 

sharona

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prayers

Hi Caroline,I sent you a private message.I will continue to pray for my friend Del.
Sharon
 

olly

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irma and al.
sorry ,i know this is a caring forum and many did try to help del but if you re read the last few pages on his thread you should know what i mean.

i dont think anyone really understood him,his worst fear was being in the situation he is in now.
i know he focused his thread on his wife and the neglect but still wanted to stay there.
that was because the thought of being left to rot with strangers and his wife getting her hands on his assets was in his mind worse for him.

most pals here will be cared for by loving relatives in the family home,to be in dels situation with no living relatives and a evil ***** of a wife must be a nightmare.
dels step son lives in another state so just visits.
renee his alsa worker was supposed to visit him but has not,his social worker seems not to have done anything either.
he has not had his voice machine for over 3wks now or his laptop despite frequent requests to the social worker and others.

i am so angry about the lack of care he is recieving and as for his wife i wont even go there as to how i feel about her.
after i recieved the email i could not stop shaking and crying.
but i will not give up on del and will send him a weekly letter,so he does not feel totally alone.
i would not wish dels stuation on my worst enemy,it really sucks
 

hopingforcure

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Caroline you are one of the most caring kind people ever, I think your heart is just amazing, I of course remember Del, and the sad sad story and I remember some people did not believe his incredibly sad and almost unbelievable story, I praise you for being so caring and kind and keeping us updated of his sad story, I just want to cry for the sorrow. I appreciate your loving heart, I guess it proves as bad as one person seems to have it, someone always can have it worse. I love Rose's idea about Rolex, I remember his love for him, animals are the worlds best medicine.
 

sharonca

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I cannot imagine the hell he must be living with. This is terrible. Is there no way to help him get his stuff? Would a phone call to Adult Protective Services help? Would a giant e-mail writing campaign to the social worker and the staff where he lives help? These people do not know the wrath of a group of PALS and CALS who care about someone. We may not be able to be physically there but we can make such a fuss that they will pray that we don't. We could not make Delb take the action that we wanted all along and get away from the she-devil but we can try help him now. Can you provide the names and e-mails of people we can inundate with messages? You may have already provided the name and address of where he lives but could you put it all in one post? Who is with me on this? We cannot just leave him to this fate.

Sharonca
 

BethU

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Sharon ... count me in.

Any time there is an opportunity to take action that will help a PALS in distress, we must go for it.
 

sharonca

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And where is everyone else on this issue? I know it is a holiday week-end but really. Only BethU replies that she will help?

I know that Traymore is in Dallas - having looked at a previous thread that showed the name and address of the place where Delb is living. Hopefully we will get more info.

Their web site states that they a limited number of rooms for Medicare Part A. Does that jive with the $128 a day that he is expected to pay?

Why couldn't he divorce his wife and get alimony? Seriously couldn't Adult Protective Services help him?

Since there has not been the expected response I'm going to start a separate thread with a different title - to peak interest.

Sharonca
 
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