Lillian ~ So sorry for you loss. I too, lost my sweetheart on November 6th, our daughter's first birthday. We found out on April Fool's Day (2010) that we were expecting her and 18 short days later and my beloved got the diagnosis that would change our world and lives forever. We also have a 3 year old. I knew he was getting worse, and soo hoped he would make it through the holidays as we had many important days to our family ahead. My daughter's birthday was the same day my beloved passed. He had not opened his eyes in over a day, but when she was eating her cake in her high chair beside his bed, he opened his eyes briefly. 10 days after I lost my husband, my father-in-law passed away, and his funeral was this past Monday. We also have Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday, and now my first holiday without my best friend and love of my life. On December 2nd, our son (his pride and joy) will turn 4. On December 18th, we would have been married 7 years, and now I will spend it alone, without him, remembering the best day of my life, as a single widow mother to our 2 children at the ripe old age of 32. Then of course, there is Christmas. Somehow, I am suppose to muster something up and take care of my babies, and make the best out of these upcoming holidays, wrap presents, put a fake smile on while my heart is breaking, .. when all I want to do is run away and be by myself.
I don't know any answers to your questions, as, I too, am trying to grasp my new reality, my worst nightmare came true, and now I am lost without my best friend, my sweetheart, the one that knew me better then anyone else, my beloved, my lover, my husband, and the father of our children. I don't know how to go on. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone, having to figure out how to survive the holidays and how to go on, when your world just ended.
My husband was my world, now I don't know what to do anymore. I am lost without him.
*hugs*
~ Becca
