Jessica77
Member
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2008
- Messages
- 12
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- US
- State
- NY
- City
- Schenectady
I am new here and was seeking some advice. My Father, whom is 59, was diagnosed with ALS February 2008. Looking back, he started having symptoms July, 2007. He is progressing very quickly and it is breaking my heart to watch. He has lost 25 pounds and walking is getting more and more difficult for him. He just received a brace for his left leg since he cannot feel anything from the knee down and his ankle is very weak. His arms are very week and his hands shake uncontrollably. He is barely able to write. Physically he is falling apart, but mentally, he is doing very well. He is dealing with this diagnoses better than we are. I am having the hardest time with this out of all the family. I have so much anger inside of me that I have never felt before. I hate that this is happening to my Dad and I wish I could take it away. My parents live in VT and I live in NY, so I am only able to visit him 2 weekends out of the month due to my work schedule. Every time I go back to VT, he is worse. I put my happy face on when I am with him so he does not see how much this is affecting me. When I head back to NY, I feel so sad and depressed. Is it normal to feel so angry? My Fiance keeps telling me to get a grip because things are only going to get worse. I fear that if I cannot deal with things now, how will I be when things really get bad. The last time when I was in VT, my Dad fell trying to get out of the chair and I froze like a deer in the headlights. I felt so guilty about this that I had to leave the room and started crying. I am so overwhelmed with all of these new emotions it is really starting to take a toll on me. My Fiance suggested I get in touch with a therapist and talk about everything I am dealing with. I think this may be a good idea so I can get some help coping with all this.
Jessica
Jessica