lovemysister
New member
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- US
- State
- North Carolina
- City
- Raleigh
One of my biggest struggles is the different way that my sister and her husband and I are processing her diagnosis. I honor and respect their decision to try to keep life as normal as possible for as long as possible. I truly do respect their choices and decisions - how can there be a "right" way to go through this? They are doing what is natural and consistent for their family in the context of how life was before the ALS diagnosis.
I process life differently - have had a lot of counseling over the years and work hard to deal with my feelings and face reality. So when we celebrated what is likely her last birthday last week, I wanted to in some way honor and acknowledge and thank and bless her, especially while she can still talk and engage normally. I didn't express this to them, but it made the birthday extra hard for me because there was no acknowledgement at all of the reality of what is happening.
This is my first post - I figured if anyone could understand what I'm experiencing (besides my counselor) it might be fellow caregivers. I don't really expect advice, just wondering if anyone else has a similar challenge. Sometimes I feel like I am crazy - I might exchange a glance with my brother-in-law that is full of meaning, but we never speak of it in a way that helps process what is happening.
I suspect they are afraid of the feelings that would come out if they "pop the cork" but in my experience that just generates tremendous anxiety because we don't talk about the elephant in the room. If I try to ask her how she is doing, how she is processing, she has told me "I just want to have a nice lunch with my sister."
I am finding other folks to process with, and that is helpful. Hoping the folks on this forum can be that sounding board for me as well. Thanks for listening.
I process life differently - have had a lot of counseling over the years and work hard to deal with my feelings and face reality. So when we celebrated what is likely her last birthday last week, I wanted to in some way honor and acknowledge and thank and bless her, especially while she can still talk and engage normally. I didn't express this to them, but it made the birthday extra hard for me because there was no acknowledgement at all of the reality of what is happening.
This is my first post - I figured if anyone could understand what I'm experiencing (besides my counselor) it might be fellow caregivers. I don't really expect advice, just wondering if anyone else has a similar challenge. Sometimes I feel like I am crazy - I might exchange a glance with my brother-in-law that is full of meaning, but we never speak of it in a way that helps process what is happening.
I suspect they are afraid of the feelings that would come out if they "pop the cork" but in my experience that just generates tremendous anxiety because we don't talk about the elephant in the room. If I try to ask her how she is doing, how she is processing, she has told me "I just want to have a nice lunch with my sister."
I am finding other folks to process with, and that is helpful. Hoping the folks on this forum can be that sounding board for me as well. Thanks for listening.
