- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 1,530
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 06/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- MN
- City
- Minneapolis
I did some small things today that made me feel better.
I moved the weights and bench from the middle of the basement that I had to look at every time I fed the cats (he does not do that anymore). He had not used them since November and today I realized it was paining me to see those All The Time.
I hauled a bunch of things in from the cars that it occurred to me my brain had been in denial that Brian could no longer haul. I got things into the house and that felt good too. Truth hurts but the truth frees.
I bought a ton of makeup and opened the packages and put it in my cosmetics case. I have been running around without mascara on, at work. Sometimes I don't even wear earrings. SO unlike me. It felt good to stock up on makeup somehow.
Last, I started talking about setting up someone to clean for us. He was good with that. It was ME dreading the conversation I kept wanting to spare him from. Brian spent 5 hours crawling around the floors this week cleaning because he can still do that but he is sore for days afterwards, too much strain. He agreed! Yet he did not want me to it. Now, neither of us will have to do it.
Next, I am signing up for grocery delivery AND one of those services where they deliver three meals worth of dinner menus per week. It costs too much, but right now I really don't care. It sounds heavenly.
Tonight after I do cat boxes I am off to grab a reasonably healthy deli dinner.
It requires some support to handle a big, full time job and a PALS with declining abilities even when he is in slow progression. I feel like I am facing that for real now, and it's good.
I moved the weights and bench from the middle of the basement that I had to look at every time I fed the cats (he does not do that anymore). He had not used them since November and today I realized it was paining me to see those All The Time.
I hauled a bunch of things in from the cars that it occurred to me my brain had been in denial that Brian could no longer haul. I got things into the house and that felt good too. Truth hurts but the truth frees.
I bought a ton of makeup and opened the packages and put it in my cosmetics case. I have been running around without mascara on, at work. Sometimes I don't even wear earrings. SO unlike me. It felt good to stock up on makeup somehow.
Last, I started talking about setting up someone to clean for us. He was good with that. It was ME dreading the conversation I kept wanting to spare him from. Brian spent 5 hours crawling around the floors this week cleaning because he can still do that but he is sore for days afterwards, too much strain. He agreed! Yet he did not want me to it. Now, neither of us will have to do it.
Next, I am signing up for grocery delivery AND one of those services where they deliver three meals worth of dinner menus per week. It costs too much, but right now I really don't care. It sounds heavenly.
Tonight after I do cat boxes I am off to grab a reasonably healthy deli dinner.
It requires some support to handle a big, full time job and a PALS with declining abilities even when he is in slow progression. I feel like I am facing that for real now, and it's good.
