On and off caretaker

[terrics]

thanks for understanding

 

[terrics]

Miss, I don't understand your anger. probably I should. And whoever asked. I've been a nurse for 40 years. Sorry my posts are so brokem up, but I was stunned at some of the rather uncaring posts.

 

[Miss]

The posts aren't uncaring - the concern is for your sister and her husband, though. You are a nurse. You understand what this illness is. You are trained to help family members cope with the illness of a loved one. You are writing to CALS and PALS - people who deal with disease 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. In most cases, we have absolutely no medical background, no training in dealing with the ravages of this disease. Most of our family members and helpers have no medical background. Initially, many of my husband's friends and family were apprehensive when visiting and helping. They quickly moved past that. If your brother in law has been battling this disease for over a year and you still are apprehensive about seeing him, don't you think he feels it? I'm just stunned that you've been unable to work this out sooner.

 

[stephie]

Terrics-
Even if you can only get there once a year, I know your sister will appreciate the break! When my husband's brother comes to visit for the weekend (he lives a couple of hours away) it is like a vacation for me! Just having one more person around does wonders for morale. I know what I appreciate most is when he jumps up to do the things my husband is asking me to do before I have the chance to do them.

I can understand why it is hard for you to see your brother-in law when you are not there to adjust to the daily changes. Please remember that these are things that your sister deals with every minute of every day and they will both need you to be strong for them! Good luck to you.

 

[strikeout]

Terrics, Your apprehension and nervousness is to be expected. I don't really understand why some of the responses have been , well let's just say a little defensive. Taking care of strangers is different than taking care of you BIL. And believe me, most nurses AND doctors know nothing about ALS. In all your years of nursing, have you ever even had an ALS patient? Probably not. ALS is scary for the caregiver! You do the best you can, and that's all you can do. You will get the strength you need to do what has to be done. Bless you for helping your sister out.

 

[terrics]

Re: On and off caretaker/ to Striker

Thank you being so understanding. I am going back upstate on Monday. My sister has to work so I am alone with my brother-in-law and I'm so afraid something will happen to him while we are alone and I can't get help fast enough. His illness is progressing very fast. Maybe it is selfish of me to be so frightened, but I can't help it. And you are right I have never had as a patient nor met someone with ALS. Caring for strangers is different. I do have empathy for them. But caring for a family member is VERY different. Thank you again.

terrics

 

[brooksea]

Good luck to you!

 

[abbas child]

terrics, I've run into that problem due to being alone a lot. My cleaner worries about what she'd do, for instance. Just ask your sister and your BIL what they'd want you to do. Hopefully it's already in writing and nailed down before you get there. I think you'll be fine. And speaking only for myself, I have made my choices very clear to everyone in my family and all my caregivers... just to help them feel peace.

You'll be fine... and I'm also praying for you that nothing tough happens "on your watch".

Ann

 

[terrics]

Thank you all. I've been reading some stuff and i think my BIL should have a suction machine. He has biPap, but he is afraid of it so he won't use it. I appreciate you all.

terrics