I feel this. I just walked over hot coals to get doctors, medical equipment, deal with the police over the deliveries of medical supplies stolen off my front steps at least three times now, meds, phone calls, paperwork. Contractors for a wheelchair ramp, a guy to do a walk in shower, a car to be converted for wheel chair use, on and on and on. Pay the bills, dead car battery, hook up pace make cords for his pacemaker, clean feeding tube, get bedding. All things I do, and will do cause I love him. But today, for just one day, I had NO appointments, no phone calls, nothing! Then it happens, the hinged lid on the canister filter for his fish tank breaks! In he walks with a book with phone numbers to call to get it fixed under warranty. A small thing, but I wanted to bend over and beat my head on the table over and over and over lol. It is like living two lives, yours, and your loved ones at the same time. I wanted to say "Oh hell no! Not today." But I took the book and told him I will take care of it. I think a small part of me likes staying busy, the constant attention to details...it doesn't leave me time to sit and think, to ponder about what is really happening to the love of my life. What life will be like if I lose him.
