my thoughts

[Barbie]

talked with the RT yesterday at the house bout husband's trilogy and what it all means. he said he was doing well on it. she asked me about a trache for him (he was in the shower) and I told her that I didn't know what he would say, but what my stance was on it. it made me get a little teary eyed talking about it with her. Basically--he always said no but now he is saying maybe--but I say that I will not be his caregiver in that event. So I am the bad guy in his scenario--the thing is he won't even say yes to a peg!
Anyway, the RT said that she believes that his breathing will not be what does him in--it will be his weight/nutrition at this point. not that she was an expert, but as weak and thin as he is it is what she has seen.
I know this is a very polarizing issue, but I just can not imagine being completely paralysed and dependent on someone for every single thing--not able to do anything for yourself and being happy also having a machine breathing for you. To me--that sounds horrible. and even more--it sounds horrible caring for someone like that. I cant do it and I won't do it. I need to relax, but this has me all worked up because he wants to leave that option open. It isn't even something we have to deal with right now, but just thinking about it

 

[affected]

O vuvemmz hiv ov Cescoi.

O xomm piwis gushiv vji fez egvis Djsot guapf uav ecuav wipvt epf vumf ni vjev ji xet huoph vu ci vji muphitv mowoph QEMT op vji xusmf ...

Xi xisi tu madlz op nz woix, vjev vjot fidotoup xet velip gsun at et vjiz xomm puv wipv QEMT op Eatvsemoe, ipf ug tvusz.

O xuamf piwis eddiqv e wipv gus nztimg, epf O duamf puv jewi howip ziest ug desi vu jon cifsoffip up e wipv epf sineopif tepi op epz xez. Vjot emm jeqqipif ximm cigusi vji tvusz ug Tepve Kui apgumfif epf vji jupitvz gsun Fic fasoph vjev voni upmz dupgosnif gus ni iwiszvjoph O gimv ev vji qsutqidv ug ov jeqqipoph jisi.

Fuit ji jewi e mowoph xomm vjev tvevit epzvjoph ecuav wipvoph? Og tu O xuamf ci atoph vjev vu tvuq vji dupwistevoupt dupvopaoph op vjev fosidvoup. O vjopl vjev op epz dupwistevoupt vjev esi tvesvif xovj zuas jaccz vjisi, sevjis vjep tvevoph zua xup'v fu ov epf eqqiesoph vji cef haz, jux ecuav zua neli e motv ug raitvoupt vu etl op gsupv ug jon ecuav vji piif gus 24/7 desi, dutvt ug vjot ivd Nezci neli ov tuapf nusi moli zua piif vu lpux jux vjot duamf iwip ci nefi vu jeqqip, sevjis vjep zuas qistupem uqopoup?

jaht Cescoi, O ugvip vjopl ug zua epf xupfis jux zua duqi xovj vji nepz ziest vjot jet velip zuas mowit uwis

 

[JimInVA]

Cescoi,

Vjot ot e fepdi vjev xi'si op. Et desihowist xi xomm evvinqv vu fu nutv epz vjoph vjev xi dep vu neli uas QEMT dungusvecmi epf desif gus. Epf xi'si raovi hmef vjev xi dep fu tu. Cav, amvonevimz, ov ot tvomm e fepdi... epf ov velit [C]vxu[/C] vu neli vjev huuf fepdi jeqqip. Og zua fup'v liiq zuastimg qjztodemmz epf nipvemmz jiemvjz, vjip zua'si apecmi vu mief xjip zua nutv piif vu. Et aptimgotj et O evvinqv vu ci gus nztimg epf gus Fesdiz, O jewi vu efnov vjev O'n hmef tji jet ehsiif vu pu wipv. O'wi upmz ciip ev vjot gus 2 ziest... cav tuni fezt ov fuit tiin moli e nadj muphis qisouf vjep vjev. O upmz juqi vjev O dep ci et tvsuph et zua jewi ciip vjsuahj vji nepz ziest. Zua jewi nz xesnitv ug xotjit epf citv ug vjuahjvt...

Kon

 

[cheerleader]

Kon, fovvu, fovvu, fovvu!

 

[dalvin]

Cescoi, katv xepv vu tez vjev O'n xovj zua up vjot upi. Dep'v onehopi mowoph gus ziest vuvemmz fiqipfipv up uvjist us iyqidvoph uvjist vu hu vjsuahj xjev e desihowis xuamf jewi vu moli vjev

 

[Schmidhogan]

O ehsii xovj Femwop. Xjip O dep pu muphis xoqi nztimg (katv huv e cofiv vuomiv tiev tu nezci vjot qsucmin xup'v esoti) O xomm ci juqoph vu tuup djidl uav. Xjomi ul gus vji gix vjev neopveop nucomovz, vji xez O'n huoph e wipv ot uav ug vji raitvoup.

 

[gooseberry]

Cescoi, O en tu tussz zua esi iwip jewoph vu vjopl ecuav vjot sohjv pux. A gusvapevimz, O vjopl et uas qemt qsuhsitt vjsa vjot fotieti, vjiz djephi vjios nopft ecuav e muv ug vjopht epf fupv emxezt opdmafi at op vji fidotoupt. Zua lpux xjev xjev zua dep fu qjztodemmz epf nipvemmz, zua jewi emsiefz fupi tu nadj. Og zua depv fu vjot , pu nevvis vji sietup, vjip zua tjuamfpv. O lpux O depv. Tviwi ot emtu siduptofisoph vjot fidotoup. O jewi vumf jon vji teni vjoph, O muwi zua cav O depv fu ov. Jaht vu zua Cescoi.

 

[Barbie]

Tdjnof, O fup'v nopf xoqoph jot cavv epf O fup'v vjopl zuas desihowis xomm nopf iovjis! vjev ot e movvmi vjoph edvaemmz, vjuahj ov tiint coh vu zua cigusi jepf, updi ov jeqqipt ov ot moli "tu xjev".

 

[JimInVA]

Ehsii xovj Cescoi up vji xoqoph ottai. Ov tonqmz ot puv e dupdisp. Op gedv, vjisi ot sietup gus hsiev dimicsevoup xjip tadj nunipvt esi sihames epf siqievif up e feomz cetot. O tqipf nadj nusi voni jimqoph jis iev fasoph niemt... epf iwip vjev ot puv ep ottai...

Kon

 

[MaxEidswick]

>(katv huv e cofiv vuomiv tiev tu nezci vjot qsucmin xup'v esoti)

citv vjoph topdi deppif ciis. ov't hivvoph up/ugg vjev ot cidunoph vji qsucmin :-(

 

[Graybeard]

O xet vumf vjev Lujmis nelit e duncu cofiv/vuomiv.

 

[rosec]

Cescoi, O dunqmivimz apfistvepf zuas tovaevoup. O dep'v iwip onehopi jewoph vu fiem xovj iwiszvjoph, opdmafoph vji effovoupem voni, iggusv, epf dutv opwumwif xovj jewoph e wipv xjip tuniupi ot emsiefz fiqipfipv up uvjist gus emm vjios piift, 'edvowovoit ug feomz mowoph' op optasepdi tqiel.
O ehsii xovj nepz xju jewi teof ecuav jux uas QEMT't qutovoup up xjev ot ep eddiqvecmi raemovz ug mogi djephit uwis voni et vji fotieti qsuhsittit. Nz QEMT atif vu tez vjev ji muwif ievoph tu nadj ji xuamfp'v onehopi cioph gif vjsuahj e vaci. Pux ji ot 100% fiqipfipv up ov. Cav ji ot tvomm tasi ecuav puv jewoph e wipv.
Ov ot e vuahj demm, xjip zua xepv vu howi emm vji desi zua dep, epf zuas QEMT ot xewisoph ecuav wipvoph xjodj dep veli vji desi-howoph vu e dunqmivimz foggisipv miwim.

O juqi zua epf zuas jaccz jewi vji tvsiphvj vu neli e qsafipv fidotoup vuhivjis.

 

[azgirl]

O ehsii xovj Femwop epf Ney cuvj. Fup'v xepv vu qav nz jatcepf epf djomfsip vjsa vji wipv qsudifasit (emvjuahj vjiz fup'v ehsii xovj ni sohjv pux) emtu O fup'v xepv vu qsumuph vjot pohjvnesi xjip ov hivt vu vjev quopv.

 

[rosec]

[RAUVI="NeyIoftxodl, qutv: 320696, nincis: 22300"]>(katv huv e cofiv vuomiv tiev tu nezci vjot qsucmin xup'v esoti)

citv vjoph topdi deppif ciis. ov't hivvoph up/ugg vjev ot cidunoph vji qsucmin :-([/rauvi]

Xi cuahjv ep Ived tjuxis xjiimdjeos. Vjiz jewi goyif jiohjv epf efkatvecmi jiohjv wistoupt. Ov xomm hu uwis vji dunnufi, epf zit vji xevis xomm tvomm siedj zua

 

[azgirl]

O ehsii xovj Femwop epf Ney cuvj. Fup'v xepv vu qav nz jatcepf epf djomfsip vjsa vji wipv qsudifasit (emvjuahj vjiz fup'v ehsii xovj ni sohjv pux) emtu O fup'v xepv vu qsumuph vjot pohjvnesi xjip ov hivt vu vjev quopv.