Limbo

[gina0605]

My mother-in-law was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. She is seventy years old. She just divorced my father-in-law and was looking forward to starting a new. Then this news came. She seems completely normal right now other than some muscle waisting. The problem is my husband and I don't know what to plan for. On top of all that, I have a down syndrome brother-in-law who lives with her right now. We just feel so overwhelmed.

 

[patricia1]

MY heart goes out to you and yours You have to be strong and dont try to do everything yourselve Dont be ashame to say HELP. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers Pat

 

[gina0605]

Thanks Pat. We are just in those early days where we don't know what's ahead. One thing at a time. She is from a big family and I know there will be support from them.

 

[CindyM]

Hi Gina. I am glad your MIL has a big family. The more hands the better! You will find a lot of resources on this site. Also, if you like to read, your local library has a few good books written by folks who had the disease. Jump in at any time with questions or concerns. You will find folks here are very supportive and informative. Cindy

 

[Al]

Hi Gina. Are you registered with ALSA or MDA yet. If not call them asap and they will send out a lot of information for the patient and the caregivers. I am assuming that you are in the US.
AL.

 

[tabney]

My mother-in-law was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. She is seventy years old. She just divorced my father-in-law and was looking forward to starting a new. Then this news came. She seems completely normal right now other than some muscle waisting. The problem is my husband and I don't know what to plan for. On top of all that, I have a down syndrome brother-in-law who lives with her right now. We just feel so overwhelmed.

Gina,
Feeling overwhelmed is quite normal. Especially given the added circumstances of a special needs family member. I worked in the field of Adult MR for over 20 years so that part of your posts really caught my attention. If you need any advice regarding his needs, potential reactions, ect. please don't hesitate to contact me. I am sorry to hear about your Mother-in-Law. This is never easy. We are all here for you anytime you need us. Toni

 

[gina0605]

Toni,
Thanks so much for your support. My mother-in-law is very old school and I don't believe she is taking advantage of all the wonderful programs there are out there for the support and care of the mentally retarded. My brother-in-law is high funtioning and able to hold a job. He is not able to live on his own though and will require care once she is gone. I spent 15 years thinking I couldn't handle the responsibility but had a revelation before her diagnosis that since I spend so much time worrying about his well being maybe I could do it. Maybe I wouldn't be so bad for him. Anyway, I am not going to just jump in and take over her life. She is in good shape right now and probably needs all the independence she can get (with support).