bala80
Member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2007
- Messages
- 26
- Reason
- Learn about ALS
- Country
- AUS
- State
- Vic
- City
- Melbourne
Hi all,
Sorry for the brief absence, i have just been trying to get my head around things and what I am going to face. Bdyle, I was not deeply offended by your comment, and I realise your intentions were sincere, and I thank for for your ongoing concern. Mike I thank you as well for your support in my feelings regarding our final days. Yes I am depressed, but that is minor compared to my physical state, and I'm sure you agree that depression comes free with your diagnosis of ALS....
What fills my days now is daydreaming of things I would have done if I could, and places I wanted to see which I never will. It makes me sad, but somewhat happy at the same time. It just sucks that when you mind is in a better place, a sudden violent fascic will bring you back to reality (my mind has become immune to the constant regular ones!). I don't think a therapist would do any good to me, and any medication would be futile at this point.
I would like to share with you guys my current travel fantasy. If you haven't already got it, download Google Earth - a wonderful program - the next best thing. I am an Australian from Greek descent - and I always wanted to travel and discover largely untouched Greek islands in the Aegan Sea. In Google Earth, type in Samothraki, Kasos, Gavdos, etc. You can navigate around and click on the blue dots of certian places which bring up a photo of the place. Looking at the sheer beauty of places like these takes me away for a while and makes my heart sing....
Oh if only we saw life pre-ALS how we see it post-ALS - and to think of the past insecurities you had about yourself and your life and why you held back and to just think "you moron, you had life and you didn't even know it". I even know my parents now, the people who sacrificed so much for me whom I didn't sit down to get to really know, I love them and always have loved them but never really KNEW them (sorry gotta wind this up - getting too emotional now) they definitely do not deserve this. I guess each day is a struggle for all of us with this disease, and I am glad I have a medium with other PALS like you guys who can understand my thoughts. Again, I'm sorry for the depressing rant, but there still shines a bright spark within me helping me to soldier on. I send you all my heartfelt best wishes to keep fighting if you still have the chance...
Sorry for the brief absence, i have just been trying to get my head around things and what I am going to face. Bdyle, I was not deeply offended by your comment, and I realise your intentions were sincere, and I thank for for your ongoing concern. Mike I thank you as well for your support in my feelings regarding our final days. Yes I am depressed, but that is minor compared to my physical state, and I'm sure you agree that depression comes free with your diagnosis of ALS....
What fills my days now is daydreaming of things I would have done if I could, and places I wanted to see which I never will. It makes me sad, but somewhat happy at the same time. It just sucks that when you mind is in a better place, a sudden violent fascic will bring you back to reality (my mind has become immune to the constant regular ones!). I don't think a therapist would do any good to me, and any medication would be futile at this point.
I would like to share with you guys my current travel fantasy. If you haven't already got it, download Google Earth - a wonderful program - the next best thing. I am an Australian from Greek descent - and I always wanted to travel and discover largely untouched Greek islands in the Aegan Sea. In Google Earth, type in Samothraki, Kasos, Gavdos, etc. You can navigate around and click on the blue dots of certian places which bring up a photo of the place. Looking at the sheer beauty of places like these takes me away for a while and makes my heart sing....
Oh if only we saw life pre-ALS how we see it post-ALS - and to think of the past insecurities you had about yourself and your life and why you held back and to just think "you moron, you had life and you didn't even know it". I even know my parents now, the people who sacrificed so much for me whom I didn't sit down to get to really know, I love them and always have loved them but never really KNEW them (sorry gotta wind this up - getting too emotional now) they definitely do not deserve this. I guess each day is a struggle for all of us with this disease, and I am glad I have a medium with other PALS like you guys who can understand my thoughts. Again, I'm sorry for the depressing rant, but there still shines a bright spark within me helping me to soldier on. I send you all my heartfelt best wishes to keep fighting if you still have the chance...