Euthanasia

[bala80]

Hi all,

Sorry for the brief absence, i have just been trying to get my head around things and what I am going to face. Bdyle, I was not deeply offended by your comment, and I realise your intentions were sincere, and I thank for for your ongoing concern. Mike I thank you as well for your support in my feelings regarding our final days. Yes I am depressed, but that is minor compared to my physical state, and I'm sure you agree that depression comes free with your diagnosis of ALS....

What fills my days now is daydreaming of things I would have done if I could, and places I wanted to see which I never will. It makes me sad, but somewhat happy at the same time. It just sucks that when you mind is in a better place, a sudden violent fascic will bring you back to reality (my mind has become immune to the constant regular ones!). I don't think a therapist would do any good to me, and any medication would be futile at this point.

I would like to share with you guys my current travel fantasy. If you haven't already got it, download Google Earth - a wonderful program - the next best thing. I am an Australian from Greek descent - and I always wanted to travel and discover largely untouched Greek islands in the Aegan Sea. In Google Earth, type in Samothraki, Kasos, Gavdos, etc. You can navigate around and click on the blue dots of certian places which bring up a photo of the place. Looking at the sheer beauty of places like these takes me away for a while and makes my heart sing....

Oh if only we saw life pre-ALS how we see it post-ALS - and to think of the past insecurities you had about yourself and your life and why you held back and to just think "you moron, you had life and you didn't even know it". I even know my parents now, the people who sacrificed so much for me whom I didn't sit down to get to really know, I love them and always have loved them but never really KNEW them (sorry gotta wind this up - getting too emotional now) they definitely do not deserve this. I guess each day is a struggle for all of us with this disease, and I am glad I have a medium with other PALS like you guys who can understand my thoughts. Again, I'm sorry for the depressing rant, but there still shines a bright spark within me helping me to soldier on. I send you all my heartfelt best wishes to keep fighting if you still have the chance...

 

[CindyM]

What fills my days now is daydreaming of things I would have done if I could, and places I wanted to see which I never will.

A wise person once told me we cannot correct the past. She said, "We can only correct the future." I have to admit it took me awhile to figure out what in blue blazes she was talking about! :-D

 

[Clbrink]

Albert Einstein:
True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.

I believe it is all about intentions, no matter what choices you make in life! If you are reading this you still have LIFE! You can still share, you can make a difference for the people around you. They will always hold onto the memories, these moments, that they will carry with them, are in your control, nobody and nothing can ever change that!


Elbert Hubbard:
Religions are many and diverse, but reason and goodness are one.

 

[ZenArcher]

I'd like to share a few thoughts. First my stand on discussions of religion. My beliefs are what they are. I could be an atheist, an agnostic, a catholic, a muslim or one of a hundred others. If you would like to know my views come to my house, meet my family and I and get to know me for who I am then we can discuss my beliefs. History has shown that humanity is quick to make judgments of people based on their religion or lack thereof. Because of that I want you to know me for who I am and look me in the eye then we can discuss religion. I don't assume anyone is going to make a snap judgment based on my answers but I opt not to make it a point of discussion until I and the other party know each other and the question is asked.

My second thought is concerning ALS and depression. I don't want to sound morbid but from the day we were born we've been moving closer to death. A diagnosis of ALS doesn't change that. For all I know an ALS diagnosis may prolong my life. If I didn't get the diagnosis I would be traveling much more for work. I could've been killed in a car accident or plane crash. The only thing an ALS diagnosis brings is a realization of our own mortality something which has always existed but we usually refuse to see. The question is do you want to live the rest of your life being depressed because you've been forced to face the fact that you are mortal or do you want to LIVE.

Lastly and finally to the topic of euthanasia. To me this is a personal decision to be made by an individual and their family alone. In the end I believe the decision is the individuals only. Whatever the individuals reasons may be for no longer wishing to continue they must weigh those against their own beliefs and make the decision. I, as an outsider, would not comment one way or the other simply because I don't wish to make the decision any harder or simpler either way.

Now realize that this is how I look at things and it is only my intention to share. We each deal with religion and mortality in our own ways.

 

[CindyM]

Someone on another thread awhile back said that none of us are guaranteed a long life. Sounds simple enough but harder to accept when the realization comes home.

 

[quadbliss]

Mortality

Hi bala80,

Your current journey into self discovery sounds very much like the trail head of the incredible path I am currently travelling. I truly believe that if you can stick it out and get beyond the depression, you are in for an exhilarating ride. Here is a piece I wrote for my website years ago. See if your soul recognizes any of it.

Even the word death makes some people uncomfortable, but I have always accepted it as a very natural part of every life on this planet… until it came knocking on my door. When I was first diagnosed with ALS, death looked me square in the eye, and it was terrifying. When I finally learned to calmly accept it, death became my companion and has been ever since. This may sound morbid, but it is actually the main component to my passion for life. We are all mortal. Any one of us could die before we lay our head on the pillow tonight. I have been lucky enough to receive the opportunity to really comprehend this information, and the time to use it.

I feel the fleeting nature of life, and this allows me to fully enjoy everything around me and every experience. My disease has limited the activities I can participate in, but it seems worth it. The many things I can still experience and learn about, are so much more fulfilling and meaningful. I seem to have the perspective to understand my position in the universe, and from this position I look out in awe.

There is also the ability to live fully in the present. This means allowing myself to explore depths of emotion that I had suppressed in the past. I would have been afraid to go there. Having unlocked those gates, I realize that I was missing a crucial connection to humanity; true empathy. To feel the joy and pain of others is to break down the walls of arrogance, prejudice, and ignorance that have led to man’s ugliest moments. Allowing these emotions to flow, feels natural and somehow cleansing. I feel more alive.

For me, death has been an invaluable teacher who has shown me the secrets of true happiness. I don’t know if I would have ever really understood these concepts had I not been forced to view my own mortality.

Live with a meaningful purpose. Do not just brush by others. Take the time to touch them as you pass. :-D

Mike

 

[myooshka]

Mike you have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself, I know it always makes me feel lighter to read your posts. Bala hang in there! I understand what you mean about all of the what if's and should haves. I found it all consuming in the beginning of my illness, it's only human nature, to grieve our lives,ourselves and what could have been.When we are sick we mourn ourselves, the lives we once had. It is for me the hardest thing I have ever had to do, especially as a former perfectionist, to feel so vulnerable and to give up the life I had. This is now a new chapter, one that is hard to accept, but I have no choice. One member on here told me if we truly live in the moment and cherish the moment it will prepare us for the future and there will be nothing we won't be able to handle. Bala thinking of you and wishing you many happy days ahead.Mya

 

[CathyAmanda]

Bala,

I really was not trying to downgrade the physical and emotional pain you must be feeling. It was honest to goodness sadness that made me respond in a the way that I did....

ZenArcher

I agree wholeheartedly with what you say about accepting our own mortality and that we could all have a tragic accident at any time. My friend Garry who died of MND lived a wreckless and carefree life prior to his diagnoses. His family had many calls from hospitals, police etc to say that he was seriorsly injured in car accidents, bashings and the like. We truly used to believe that we were going to get a call that he had died goodness knows where and goodness knows how. We thank god that due to his MND 9not that he died) but that when he did we all got to be with him and say goodbye and that we love him......

We are now facing this disease again in his sister (my best friend)

Again Bala I am sorry if you felt that I was judging your feelings I was not.

Cathy

 

[robc]

I live in Oregon, the only state in the US where it is legal for a physician to help a patient die.

I don't know I'd go that route, but it definitely gives me huge piece of mind to know that assistance is there if I need it.

I don't worry about the moral implications - maybe I should, but I don't.

 

[bdyle]

bala80

I appreciate your response, I sent you a pm but I was told you may not have a pm box. Again my intentions were not meant to hurt you, I like what you said about getting to know your family, family and friends are very dear to have, mine have been such a great support to me during this disease. God bless and stay positive.

 

[Montana Carol]

Stopping Food and Water?

I have read all the posts on this thread with great interest. Since my diagnosis, I have often wished we had a law in Montana permitting assisted suicide. I am a committed Christian, but I believe Jesus came to teach us how to love God and our neighbor, not to perpetuate the Hebrew "Laws." I believe God's mercy is beyond human understanding, certainly beyond our human concepts of sin and guilt.

With all due respect to you younger folks who still have so much to live for, I'm 71 and don't want to live long enough to become immobile. I don't want my husband to have to take care of me for a long time when I can't do anything, although I know he would do it for me with love. I'm hoping my breathing will give out before that happens, but if it doesn't, I have heard that stopping food and water is a fairly easy way to end my life. I read that it is not against the law, and healthcare providers are permitted to give sedatives for comfort during the process, which is usually only a few days.

Has anyone here had any experience with this that you'd like to share?

 

[Al]

Carol, you should contact your local Hospice. They can give you information on this subject.
AL.

 

[CindyM]

My Mom- who will be 85 in two weeks, is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. Early on she signed clear and legal directives that, when she is no longer able to swallow foods, she should NOT be given a feeding tube, or resuscitated in any manner.

I think your feelings are common and should be respected.

 

[happy]

Carol,

Reading your post breaks my heart. I am so overwhelmed thinking that during suffering you would have to even think about making a decision like that. I pray that our loving Father will hold you closely and give you comfort.

Robin

 

[hope]

As I sit here and read the posts my heart goes out to all of us who are suffering with this horrible disease. I am not going to say either way if I belive in god or do not believe in god, this to me is personal. If it is okay to say though there is not one person
that I know of who knows what happens when we die or where we go. I feel focusing what is real right now that I can see is my loved one suffering, the family an friends all suffering. Life is precious. The pain of this disease is hard to cope with. It hurts so much. We are all trying to find comfort. Being here in the moment and giving all the comfort, kindness and caring that one can give is
what we all need. Everyone is searching. We could be looking for something that is right in front of us. Our loved one. I believe holding my loved one, wiping the tears, making him smile, hugging him, reading to him and keeping his mind full of life that the feelings of wanting to leave go away. Yes you are all right, this is very painful and the suffering is hard to describe but for my loved one and I finding ways to feel life is what keeps us going and not thinking beyond. This is only my personal feelings. I do not mention religion because I feel I do not know what is beyond and I cannot comment on something that I really know very little about. If I lived in the after life I would be able to voice my opinion but for today what helps my loved one who is very ill keep going is the hugs that are given, the smiles, and knowing that he will not go through each day alone in the suffering, I will be right by his side to keep him as happy as I possibly can.

hope.