Thinks that she will be a burden....

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viv

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Joined
May 13, 2006
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2
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Loved one DX
Country
CA
State
BC
City
Dawson Creek
My StepMom (Mom) has just returned from a consultation with a specialist who has confirmed her diagnosis of als.
I have been doing a lot of investigation into the disease, and am learning about the many different symptoms that we may encounter as it progresses, I agree that this really is a very nasty illness, and am honestly very, very scared about what we may soon have to face.
My Mom has apparently decided that she will not be a burden on her children. There are 8 kids, and unfortunately none of us live near her - the closest is 5 hours drive from her, and the furthest (myself) I'm 12 hours away. Mom has said now that she will not move to be closer to any of us, as she doesn't want to put us through the burden of looking after her.
We just lost our Dad a little over a year ago, and so Mom doesn't have anyone other than friends - many whom are members of her church, and although they are all wonderful to her - they can't provide her with the care she will one day need.
I am frustrated. We are all so very concerned about her, and the thought of none of us being nearby as this progresses is driving us crazy. She has just turned 65, and up until now, has always been completely capable of taking care of herself, and anyone else who needed caring. I realize that she has the right to choose where she will live...but I don't know what is available to help us make sure that she is well looked after. She lives in Vernon, BC....anyone who could give me any information on what is available in that area - or on care options that we can look into for future reference - it would be greatly appreciated.

I am really very grateful that there is an area like this for us to go to.
 

Al

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Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
Hi Viv. Sorry about your mom. Have you called the ALS Society of BC. I'm not sure if there is a chapter in Vernon but I can check tomorrow for you if you'd like. There are support groups in most of the larger towns and while I've never been to Vernon I think it has a large population so should have a good range of services to help your mom if she wants to stay there. She may want to change locale after she realizes the enormity of the challenges she faces. It takes a while for all this to sink in. Give her a bit of time and try not to pressure her. She needs time to absorb all this.
 
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viv

New member
Joined
May 13, 2006
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
CA
State
BC
City
Dawson Creek
thanks Al.

I talked to Mom tonight...I think you're right. This is so much to try to absorb. My brother has registered Mom with the ALS Society in Kelowna, which is less than an hours drive, and since her consultation, she has received mobility aids from the red cross, a visit from the physiotherapist, and is scheduled to meet with someone from the ALS Society the end of this month. Isn't it amazing. She told me tonight on the phone about all the help that has suddenly been put forward for her...I am very grateful.
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
Help is there it sometimes just a matter of knowing where to look.
 
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