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My husband lost his battle...
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Beaner,
I am so sorry for your loss. The silence can indeed be unsettling. Whenever my mom is in the hospital, the house seems so still, not just because of her absence but also because her equipment is silent. Our dog will run into her room to look for her every morning, thinking that she will magically reappear. It's these habits and routines that can be the hardest to face, but you will find new routines and things to fill the vacuum. As I just said on another thread, time will help. Things will never be the same, but that's a guarantee in any circumstance.
I am so sorry for your loss. The silence can indeed be unsettling. Whenever my mom is in the hospital, the house seems so still, not just because of her absence but also because her equipment is silent. Our dog will run into her room to look for her every morning, thinking that she will magically reappear. It's these habits and routines that can be the hardest to face, but you will find new routines and things to fill the vacuum. As I just said on another thread, time will help. Things will never be the same, but that's a guarantee in any circumstance.
beaner1
Active member
- Joined
- May 8, 2007
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- 58
- Reason
- CALS
- Country
- CA
- State
- Alberta
- City
- Redcliff
Thanks to everyone...
Thanks for all of the kind words and support. As wonderful as everyone has been - and you truly find out who your friends are at this time, and our little family is so blessed - no one understands what my kids and I went through or are feeling right now except for those of us who have lived this awful disease - and that's us on this forum. So many things that have been said are exactly what we're feeling - the awful silence especially. I really don't know how I would have gotten through the past few years without this column - such a blessing that it's here!
Al, my husband loved his job as a firefighter - he was truly one of those lucky people who found his calling and never thought of it as "work". So many of the young guys came up to us, and told us what a great guy, great example, and mentor he was to them. His crew captains told us that they were so lucky to have had him on their shifts - that he was a guy who took his job seriously and did it to the best of his ability all the time. That was my husband - whatever he took on he always gave it his best shot - whether it was as a firefighter, husband, father, hockey and baseball coach - so many things cuz he was such an active man.
I hope (and like to believe) that he's free of pain, and is working in that big firehall in the sky, and that he's playing hockey, baseball, and golfing in his spare time - as well as sitting around telling jokes and stories over a beer. That's how we'll remember him - a guy who was always up for a good laugh, story and a beer. He was a good man, and the world is a little less nicer than when he was in it.
Beaner
Thanks for all of the kind words and support. As wonderful as everyone has been - and you truly find out who your friends are at this time, and our little family is so blessed - no one understands what my kids and I went through or are feeling right now except for those of us who have lived this awful disease - and that's us on this forum. So many things that have been said are exactly what we're feeling - the awful silence especially. I really don't know how I would have gotten through the past few years without this column - such a blessing that it's here!
Al, my husband loved his job as a firefighter - he was truly one of those lucky people who found his calling and never thought of it as "work". So many of the young guys came up to us, and told us what a great guy, great example, and mentor he was to them. His crew captains told us that they were so lucky to have had him on their shifts - that he was a guy who took his job seriously and did it to the best of his ability all the time. That was my husband - whatever he took on he always gave it his best shot - whether it was as a firefighter, husband, father, hockey and baseball coach - so many things cuz he was such an active man.
I hope (and like to believe) that he's free of pain, and is working in that big firehall in the sky, and that he's playing hockey, baseball, and golfing in his spare time - as well as sitting around telling jokes and stories over a beer. That's how we'll remember him - a guy who was always up for a good laugh, story and a beer. He was a good man, and the world is a little less nicer than when he was in it.
Beaner
CindyM
Moderator emeritus
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2006
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He was a good man, and the world is a little less nicer than when he was in it.
Nobody could ask for a more loving tribute. Your family was blessed to know him, and among the things you now think of him doing, add being grateful for all the love you provided in his hour of need!
Thee General
New member
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2008
- Messages
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- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 3/2007
- Country
- US
- State
- Ca.
- City
- Fort Jones
Very Sorry
Beaner
I'm so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you.
And may he rest in peace.
Linda
Beaner
I'm so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you.
And may he rest in peace.
Linda
anneinma
Active member
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- Aug 6, 2007
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- PALS
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- US
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- MA
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- barnstable
Dear Beanie,
I understand everything completely. My dear husband and best friend passed away on April 22nd. Just yesterday I had to go to a wake in the same room my huband was waked in 3 months ago and I don't know how I got through it. I don't know how I get through each day except putting one foot in front of the other. It may get easier but all it takes is a song on the radio, me waking up without him there and I miss my "other half" so much. There is something that makes me cry every day.
I have a teenage daughter and I try to maintain some "normalcy" such as having dinner. It is evident she finds this uncomfortable as she tries to go out to dinner with her friends when possible. Hopefully by the time she gets back to school this will not be as painful.
On the night my husband passed we had a very nice meal together, he called some old friends and then he just passed. The local fire dept. was very kind to me that night. I have every respect for firefighters and I am sure they sent your husband off with the respect and honor he deserved.
This site is very helpful. I know my husband would have been so sad to progress much more than he had in the eight months after his diagnosis. He was so sad already - I will be forever haunted by that look in his eyes.
Know that you have friends here. It is OK to cry. I just take things one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. My prayers go out to you and your family.
I understand everything completely. My dear husband and best friend passed away on April 22nd. Just yesterday I had to go to a wake in the same room my huband was waked in 3 months ago and I don't know how I got through it. I don't know how I get through each day except putting one foot in front of the other. It may get easier but all it takes is a song on the radio, me waking up without him there and I miss my "other half" so much. There is something that makes me cry every day.
I have a teenage daughter and I try to maintain some "normalcy" such as having dinner. It is evident she finds this uncomfortable as she tries to go out to dinner with her friends when possible. Hopefully by the time she gets back to school this will not be as painful.
On the night my husband passed we had a very nice meal together, he called some old friends and then he just passed. The local fire dept. was very kind to me that night. I have every respect for firefighters and I am sure they sent your husband off with the respect and honor he deserved.
This site is very helpful. I know my husband would have been so sad to progress much more than he had in the eight months after his diagnosis. He was so sad already - I will be forever haunted by that look in his eyes.
Know that you have friends here. It is OK to cry. I just take things one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. My prayers go out to you and your family.
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