Make no big decisions for 12 months?

[affected]

wow I went away for 5 days and you raised and solved such a biggie - what a beautiful thread to read all in one go. well done for making the decision sooner.

I think you can see why the general rule is not to make big decisions in the first 12 months. It's not always so easy to think clearly, but you laid it all out and went through the pros and cons brilliantly xxx

 

[SKlocinski]

I had heard that also. My husband passed away in July of 2016 and I sold my house and moved back to Kentucky to be close to my family in January of 2017. I also adopted a Chihuahua from a shelter in South Carolina in September of 2016 because I felt like I had no purpose and he gave me a reason to get up and to function. Both of those decisions were good ones. I had already decided before Tom passed that when he was gone I would sell the house and move. I think it depends on circumstances and one size doesn't fit all

 

[soonerwife]

Agreed Sandy! I am glad that your decisions turned out to be good ones.

 

[Lkaibel]

I think the standard advice about losing a partner and not making big decisions for 12 months is well intended, but misguided. Losing a spouse from a terminal, long term situation is much different than the shock of losing one from a heart attack, for example.

I can see the pure shock of that leaving a person with poor judgement for the big stuff for a while. Something like ALS on the other hand involves a lot of planning, and for many people putting things on hold with job, family, and other issues that they may want to make changes in during the aftermath of the loss.

It sounds like you have made a solid choice in staying with your job. It sounded to me like the thing to do when I read your first post

 

[Narrowminded]

Lenore I think your reasoning is spot on. For those of us stuck in limbo, i think we’ve probably thought thru many scenarios for after. We are just waiting for the after to get here. While I don’t expect it to be like a switch, and I know there will be mourning to go with, I think it probably will be different in its own way than facing a sudden, unexpected death of a loved one.

Hugs,

Sue

 

[soonerwife]

I completely agree! I believe we grieve for years and think of every option. Sometimes, I think that is what keeps us going, knowing that the suffering will end for us and our PALS at some point.