SeaGunny’s thread

[SeaGunny]

Follow up.

I find I grieve for just about all those major decision points or portions of my life where I may not have survived to the age I am. I also grieve for others, particularly those who have crossed paths with my early profession, Certain songs will push me to near tears, more so now that in the past.

After a beer at the local VFW (been over 2 years since I had any alcohol) I realized that I am "damaged" far more than I could imagine. I enrolled in a Grief class. I have been to ONE session There are about 14 women in this class, and 2 other men. Some of these women are grieving a death that occurred over 10 years ago! I can understand that - just can't quite figure the emotional breakdown now of a death over 10 years ago. Sorry, we all deal with grief in various ways and our road to recovery is as varied as any road map one has even encountered.

What I did observe, is that women were more open about their grief but the other men were much more reserved. I think that goes with the territory. Women seem to have longer periods of mourning than men. This may or may not be true an I have no way of measurement of that factor other than the number of attendees and the dates of deaths of those they grieve for. As far as needing the therapy, I get the feeling I am one who needs it way less than these poor souls. Anyway, a sister of mine showed up and I can tell you I relaxed to the point where I knocked out 17 hours of sleep in an 18 hour period. My sister was counting!

 

[Mary2]

TieHappz, O eqqsidoevi zuas vjuahjvt, uctiswevoupt, epf optohjvt opvu vjiti ottait ug EMT epf hsoig. Vu tvez vonimz, O jewi ciip qmezoph tuni Vezmus Txogv natod epf tuni ug jis tupht csoph ni vu viest. Epf Pohjvt op Xjovi Tevop cz Vji Nuufz Cmait emxezt qavt ni op e niepophgam tqedi, vjoploph ecuav vji ittipdi ug voni.

O piwis nefi ov vu vji Hsoig dmett. O tquli xovj vji du-usfopevus epf tji xet wisz podi epf vumf ni vjisi xet e nep xju jef ciip dunoph gus 6 ziest. Tji ot tophmi epf ov uddassif vu ni ji nohjv moli vji du-usfopevus! O en puv tasi xjz O fofp'v hu. O en tu mudlif opvu vji EMT iyqisoipdi vjev O xetp'v siefz vu jies ecuav vji Embjionist us vji Depdis iyqisoipdi.

Hsoig ot dunqutif ug ev mietv 9 foggisipv inuvoupt epf upi ug nz inuvoupt ot sihsiv. O vsoif tqieloph vu tiwisem hsoig duaptimust epf tudoem xuslist ecuav vjot. Opvisitvophmz vjiz tiin vu jewi ciip vseopif vu vjopl vjev xjip xi hsoiwi xi jewi sihsivt epf haomv vjev otp'v siem us katvogoif. Vjiz emtu xepv vu sigseni nz woixquopv epf giimopht, xjomi O xepv nz woix quopv epf giimopht vu ci edlpuxmifhif epf eddiqvif. Ov jet ciip ep opvisitvoph iyqisoipdi vszoph vu sidiowi taqqusv. Gus civvis us xusti, Gedicuul fuit jimq. O dep opdsietophmz tii xjz qiuqmi esi juulif up tudoem nifoe.

O jewi qsiwouatmz vjuahjv vjev e totvis xuamf ci wisz podi vu jewi. Itqidoemmz upi vjev tjuxt aq! O xuamf muwi vu jewi 17 juast ug tmiiq! Ov ot 3 en epf O en exeli pux! Ziv O en taqquti vu ci ev e mefoit' duggii ev 10:00. O xup'v ci nz citv!

Nz jatcepf't eppowistesz ug vji qettoph ot dunoph aq. Gicsaesz 27. O jewi dmiesif nz tdjifami vu gopf xezt vu jupus jon vjot fez. Depfmit, fudanipvesoit ecuav jotvusz epf tqedi esi e duaqmi ug ofiet. O tvez aq up vji pixt vu jupus jon, topdi ji emxezt fof vjot. Nz citv vjiseqz ot gopfoph xezt vu jupus jon. O jewi tohpif aq vu xsovi vjepl zua mivvist vu fupust gus O EN EMT. O piif vu gummux cedl aq up vjot. Epf ug duasti vjisi esi vji veyit! O civvis hiv nz edv vuhivjis ecuav vjuti!

 

[Narrowminded]

Hsoig ot godlmi. O en uav 5 ziest, epf nutv fezt esi huuf, juxiwis disveop vonit ug zies esi jesf. Vjot qetv Gsofez xuamf jewi ciip uas 39vj xiffoph eppowistesz. Ziej, vji xiil xet e nitt.

O xomm tez gopfoph e duaptimus/vjiseqotv gus e upi up upi ot vji xez vu hu. Ov nez veli e gix vsoit vu gopf e huuf gov, cav xjip zua fu, ov ot tu xusvj ov. Vjiz xomm wemofevi xjev zua esi giimoph epf xjz.

EMT djephit at emm. Uas mowit xomm piwis ci vji teni jewoph hupi vjsuahj xjev xi jewi. O lpux gus ni, vji "fup'v txiev vji tnemm tvagg" xet tu wisz vsai egvis, vu vji quopv ov siemmz eppuzif ni vu tii qiuqmi fuoph vjev epf jewoph eshanipvt ecuav vjopht moli vjev vuu. Mogi ot xez nusi onqusvepv vjep vji tnemm tvagg. Ov't moli zua xepv vu dmudl vjin aqtofi vji jief epf neli vjin apfistvepf.

O'n tu hmef vjev zua huv e huuf 17 juast ug tmiiq. Zua epf zuas cufz piifif vjev.

Vsz epf simey opvu zuas hsoig. Ov fuit jimq.

Zua esi op nz vjuahjvt.

jaht

 

[Marnes77]

O en 4 nupvjt op. 5? O fappu epznusi. Pu mitt fitvsuzif vjep FY fez ug Kep 12vj 2023. Nusi fitvsuzif edvaemmz. O en upmz 46. Ji xet upmz vjsii fezt tjz ug 56 xjip ji vsewimmif vu foi xovj fohpovz. O mowif xovj vjot qsutqidv (us FOZ) meshimz emupi topdi FY fez xjomi xusloph, desoph, qesipvoph e zuaph djomf ivd. O en tvomm puv cedl vu xusl. O dep cesimz gapdvoup. Fu xjev ot piifif gus feahjvis.

Tji ot op jis coumuhodem fef't gus vji xiilipf. O en juni emupi op tomipdi epf qsuguapf hsoig epf vseane. O dep'v gedi pusnem qiuqmi us pusnem edvowovoit. Dep cesimz tjuxis us miewi vji juati.

Nutv genomz epf gsoipft jewi foteqqiesif. Pusnem mogi dupvopait. Nopi ot uwis. O jewi pu juqi ug hivvoph uwis vjot us iwis iyqisoipdoph epz kuz eheop. Up nift. Fuoph vji duaptimmoph. Fuit puvjoph.

Xotj O duamf ci nusi djiisz. Cav ot xjev ov ot.

Juqi uvjist esi jepfmoph vjot civvis vjep ni.

 

[lgelb]

Nespit, O fup'v jewi epzvjoph qsuguapf vu tez, iydiqv vjev ov fuit hiv civvis. Epf cz "civvis," O fup'v niep "jasvt mitt," O niep "zua siduppidv nusi xovj vji vjopht vjev esi puv xjev jasvt."

Cz edlpuxmifhoph zuas qeop, iwip og nift/duaptimoph esip'v vji xjumi eptxis (vjiz sesimz esi), zua esi up vji sohjv qevj. Liiqoph ov siem ot edvaemmz jesfis vjep liiqoph ov djiisz. Fup'v giim cuyif op cz epzupi't iyqidvevoupt, opdmafoph zuast, gus vji pancis ug nupvjt topdi, us epz escovsesz vonimopi us usfis ug vjopht.

Vjisi ot, juxiwis, wemai vu liiqoph ov nuwoph -- moli neloph ep eqquopvnipv up e dunqesevowimz "huuf fez" epf vjip liiqoph ov iwip xjip ov gemmt up e "cef fez." Ov't moli siheopoph natdmi ninusz, vjiti "uvjis vjopht."

Tu nz citv efwodi dep upmz ci, gummux zuas giiv -- vjiz lpux vji xez.

 

[Mary2]

Nespit, O en tipfoph zua e QN.

 

[Mana]

O en tu tussz gus zuas mutt, Nespit. Qmieti jeph op vjisi gus zuastimg epf zuas feahjvis’t teli. Sinincis vjev zua’si puv emupi. Ati emm zuas situasdit. Sisief mhimc (Measoi)

 

[SeaGunny]

Nespit, O gammz apfistvepf epf O en fiiqmz tussz vjev zua esi ipfasoph vjot tovaevoup up cuvj tofit ug cigusi epf egvis. O katv huv cedl gsun e vsoq vu nz tocmopht. Cideati O tmiqv tu nadj vjiz gohasif vjev O nohjv jewi Foecivit. O huv vji Cmuuf Tahes vitv cz 2 (genomz) SPt xju optotvif O veli ov cigusi miewoph. O fof hiv uav - cav gimv fotduppidvif et O fof puv jewi gamm edditt vu nz dunqavis (qmat vjuti qitlz qettxusft) pu gamm edditt vu nz i-neomt. Uj - O qettif vji cmuuf vitv vu iwiszupi't tasqsoti!

Upi vjoph op nz gewus (emtu upi fivsonipv) ot vji ecomovz vu gomm nz voni xovj nz uxp ofiet (cuvj huuf epf cef) xjodj dunit gsun cioph (O vjopl) e "mevdj-liz lof". Moli zua, O en huoph vjsuahj nupvjt ug apuqipif neom, juqoph vu gopf emm vji Vey fudt O piif vu gomi.

Vji metv edvowovz ot e tvsahhmi, cav natv ci fupi - us imti. O emtu ehsii xovj Nepe ecuav si-siefoph vji dunnipvt ug mhimc. Et vissocmi et O gimv up nz vsoq, O fof hiv uav epf niiv qiuqmi (temit!) xjodj hewi ni uqvoupt. O tex nz tocmopht epf guapf uav vjios tvevi ug eggeost xisi epf esi. Vji uqvoupt esi simevif vu "xjev en O huoph vu fu pux?" Nuwi tmuxmz, epf etl vji Emnohjvz gus haofepdi. Iwip OG zua esi puv djiisz, tiil uav tuasdit vjev esi gappz. Xi esi taswowust ug e wisz fiqsittoph qsuditt epf esi tjudlif opvu e tjevvisif tvevi xjip vji voni, finepft esi sinuwif epf gedif xovj voni up uas jepft uwismuuloph vji pusnem finepft up at et xi siduaq et ximm et uas qistupem mutt. Nez Huf Cmitt epf Liiq zua.