Angry

[Denny]

I get so angry at times!
This never lets you forget.I keep remembering what I am losing. I had such plans!
It couldn't be worse for a guy like me,I was always doing something physical,fixing something, RVing,ect
Sitting around the house is not my thing.I don't think I'll ever adjust

 

[momap53]

It's a rough road Denny. It just aggravates me to no end that I can't get out in the gardens and dig and clip and transplant etc. I can no longer drive or shop or walk the dog or even cook a meal without help. It's so hard to make the adjustment from independence to having things done for you. Please try to accept the changes quickly and be grateful for the things that you're still able to do while you can still do them. We've a lot of losses to mourn and unfortunately more are on the horizon. Count your blessings daily.

 

[susanf]

I know how you feel, Denny. It stinks. Don't stay angry long, find something good every day.

 

[Denny]

Deb
I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I'm even jealous of everbody else thats ok!
I can still drive and walk and talk I guess its whats ahead I fear

 

[susanf]

Life is a gamble. We never know what is in store for us. That's why everyone needs to live each day to the fullest.

 

[momap53]

Denny, we've all been there. Some days I'm jealous too. You'll find that you'll go back and forth with these feelings, grief just doesn't follow a straight line.

 

[Jeff Long]

Deb
I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I'm even jealous of everbody else thats ok!
I can still drive and walk and talk I guess its whats ahead I fear

Denny,
About that jealousy... the day I was diagnosed I was walking to the car with my wife when we came up on an older gentleman with a cane. I told my wife "I wanna take the cane and beat the hair off that guy." :twisted: When she asked why I could only tell her "Because he's old. And I will likely never be old. I'll be dead."

I laugh about it now, but it was not funny then. I still get pangs of something when I think of the things I will not be able to see or do, but you can't dwell on those things. I have today with my wife and kids, so I'm not wasting any of it trying to whack some old geezer with his cane! I didn't dread dying before this diagnosed, and I was gonna be just as dead someday!
Change your perspective and this diagnosed won't be in the middle of your focal lens. This forum is a good place to help with that change.

 

[Denny]

Thank you all for your support.
I'm just in a real bad emotional time as you all know! Hopefully I can come around sometime soon.
I went to a support group today at Loma Linda University and it was informative and scary seeing some folks that are way worse off than me. Sort of seeing a future reflection of yourself.

 

[Felica]

We are all here for you Denny. Vent away. We are in that boat with you We all understand. We will cry , scream , rant. Rave , and laugh right there with you. I have never been an emotional person. I find myself bursting into tears at the least little thing then I try to turn it into laughter.... leaves my husband throwing his hands up. I feel for all the CALS. That have to deal with us. Patience That is what we need. one day at time. We don't know about tomorrow so live every day as if it is your last..
Praying for us all
Hugs
Felica

 

[Okie2]

I am glad you went to a support group. I encourage you to keep going. Being with people that know what you are going through is such a help to myself and my family. Sometimes it is incredibly sad but other times it is so uplifting to be able to talk about what is on your mind. I believe anger is a healthy part of all the grieving that must go on, I think it makes us look for the happy things with much clearer vision. Use this forum whenever you need to, it is a great sounding board. Hang in there.

 

[Jeff Long]

I went to a support group today at Loma Linda University and it was informative and scary seeing some folks that are way worse off than me. Sort of seeing a future reflection of yourself.[/QUOTE]

Denny,
At my ALS Clinic appointment the nurse called this the Crystal Ball Effect. In a recent support group meeting we had 2 who couldn't talk, 2 who couldn't walk, 2 who used walkers, and a couple newbies. So we had 8 PEOPLE. That's how you'll see them in time. Just as people.

Hang tough, this too shall pass.

 

[caldona]

You know we all feel like why did this have to happened us but I can't think of anyone I would want to trade places with and know I don't like having this disease but if you want to know how blessed we are take a trip through your local Cemetery there is people who never got married, never got to see their children grow up I know I have been blessed and I think God every night. I just wished I had had more time after I retired

 

[Danijela]

I used to be angry about all the things we will never experience, even the mudane stuff everybody else takes for granted. Now that my partner's illness is advanced his care and his needs are such that I have no time for that kind of anger any more. We did a lot of things early in his illness that we can no longer do, and will never be able to. Sometimes I managed to enjoy them but often all we did was tinged...with being 'our last time'. There was one thing I always found particulary hurtful, a suggestion to 'make memories'. Memories for whom, to what end? So that I can weep over them when I have nobody to share them with? But now (3 years from diagnosis) I realise that some of those memories we made we are still sharing...life goes on.

D