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Last night I went to bed as usual with my BiPap machine operating, right shoulder strapped and for the first time,a hand and arm brace. That was only made for me yesterday by my OT, all seemed well and I felt comfortable and look forward to settling down to a good night sleep. At 2:30 AM I woke up to go to the toilet and felt like I was totally constrained, couldn't help myself to get the BiPap mask off, because of having the right hand in the new arm brace, and for the first time had to get assistance to remove the BiPap.

To A Small Degree Born to be a patriot Living to be a martyr Speaking semi-charmed And walking with a wayward stride Hear me speak Watch my words Grace is ……….. Lost in a whisper Talk such nonsense Strut with indecision Confide in doubt Regret your own regrets Sum up the conclusion Pen and pad, pad and pen Write and re-write then write it again Maul it over just a few more times Reveal and accept, accept then reveal Which comes first Who owns who’s heart Who owns mine Lax attitude with a stubborn step An iron fist for flower Strong spoken with a weak will

Rise O’ cruel world that cuffs and shackles, ties binds, bounds and blinds me to this piece of lumber where many martyrs hung before I. O’ crude people who stare with pity, and speak, spit, vomit wisdom that holds true united ignorance. O’ simple life that forbids the adventure of thinking outside the box and past the billboards. Take warning, indeed take warning. For I will climb above. Climb as high as the sun and shine. Shine brighter then the most polished, smooth, slickest, shiniest piece of silver in your pocket.

Face In Hands Thoughts and consequences of my decisions plague my ideas With pacifist curiosity I extend my gratitude I extend my scarred heart with a calm like demeanor But my wit is still slow Dry and reserve I sit my fingers crossed And hide your picture Dark calm and collected, but damned to think of you What’s known as bravery is condemned as foolishness And what is known as foolishness still might be right We run in circles but keep no pace Dodging one another’s compliments Still you hide, and still I divert my attention From the inevitable demise of human nature

Unprepared Passing time in my shell of shit and sunshine Waiting for Gods sign Casting shadows on the wall Making myself 100 feet tall Mastering the art of a smile Training to run a mile Hoping to finish with a moderate pace Nothing will prepare me for your angel like face Pounding nails into my coffin Not sleeping often Pacing the floor with intent Cant really think of anything for lent Practicing my best Kermit the frog voice With all these donuts who could really make a choice Coming up with all the things I could make from lace But nothing will prepare me for your angel like face

These Words I read the words of Kerouac Heard the words of Frost Tasted the words of Ginsberg And saw the words of Blake Loved with the words of Cohen Changed with the words of Dylan And relaxed with the words of Marley Dreamed with the words of king Got lost in the words of Salinger And lived in the word of Steinbeck All these words I grew up with the words of Hinton Forgot the day with the words of Drake Hid inside the words of Twain And found a friend in the words of Harper All these words that sound so profound All these words that changed the world

These Words I read the words of Kerouac Heard the words of Frost Tasted the words of Ginsberg And saw the words of Blake Loved with the words of Cohen Changed with the words of Dylan And relaxed with the words of Marley Dreamed with the words of king Got lost in the words of Salinger And lived in the word of Steinbeck All these words I grew up with the words of Hinton Forgot the day with the words of Drake Hid inside the words of Twain And found a friend in the words of Harper All these words that sound so profound All these words that changed the world

Don’t be Quick Do I seem sad to thee Are my eyes not wet with happy tears Do I not cast down thy judgment As little white lies White lies for black times Untold secrets that hold no truth Do I seem sad to thee Is my walk not a strut Or my stride not a waltz Do I not slap down thy guilt And lift mine own head in glee Do I seem sad to thee Is there no smile as big as thine When I clear thy’s spit from my face Or no will stronger when I turn the other cheek Do I seem sad to thee

LET IT REALLY SINK IN...... THEN YOU CHOOSE . John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!' 'You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

THAT REALLY PISS ME OFF I can crush a whole row of crackers at once , but cant open the plastic wrapper. I can still crush containers into garbage, but cant cut paper with scissors. I can still go to the bathroom, but need to sit to do it. I can still get to many of my friends houses, but cant get up the steps. I can still take medicine by mouth, but I cant get the pill bottles open. I still get wood , but cant move long enough to use it. I can eat anything that is moist, but choke on spit.