Naming on headstone

[mdaniela]

I wasn't really sure what forum to post this in but regardless, my mom was a "Martin" for 27 years and a "Humble" for 2 years. Mitchell is her maiden name. Should I keep the image how it is since that's who she legally was when she passed? Linked below is a post I made last year so you can see why I'm a little "conflicted" about what to have carved.

https://www.alsforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40685

 

[Nikki J]

Is the stone currently in place? Do you have the legal right to change it? I would guess you would need to be the executor of her estate.

I totally get your desire to have a different name In general I think what matters is what she would have wanted followed by a large dash of what those who loved her and mourn her want. Also is anyone else already in the plot or scheduled to be? And where is she geographically?

I am truly sorry for the horrible situation you all have had to deal with and my condolences for your loss

 

[lgelb]

I am very sorry to hear about your mom, M. Guessing this was relatively recent, so take care and be good to yourself as you went through a traumatic situation.

As Nikki says, it is really about how she saw herself but also what you will see or remember. Also some people put a second line underneath with the other name that has been used, e.g. Susan Debora Humble (Martin) or Susan Debora Martin (Humble). But you are under no obligation to use the legal name that was last hers. So you could also say Martin (Mitchell). Print each of them out and sit with it a while if the stone has not been ordered or revised yet.

Best,
Laurie

 

[Atsugi]

In my humble view, the headstone is talking to the future kin. What is it that you and her grandchildren would want to see?



And THAT is one BEAUTIFUL headstone. I'd be proud to look up every morning and see that above my casket.

 

[mdaniela]

The stone is not currently in place and I have the legal right to change it. Her stepfather and brother are buried in front of her and the cemetery is in Michigan. Thank you for your condolences.

 

[mdaniela]

Thank you Laurie.

 

[mdaniela]

In my humble view, the headstone is talking to the future kin. What is it that you and her grandchildren would want to see?

And THAT is one BEAUTIFUL headstone. I'd be proud to look up every morning and see that above my casket.

Thank you. That really means a lot.

 

[mdaniela]

As for what my mom would want it's hard to say. We believe she had frontal lobe damage which makes me wonder if she would have even married "Humble" in the first place.

 

[lgelb]

From what you say, then, there seems no reason to include Humble. If it is a family issue, I would say what you just said and that you want to honor the partnership that was clearly the most important of her life.