bemindful

My husband had colon cancer 2 yrs before he got the double whammy..als. Now some are talking about anesthetics relationship. 5 yrs of hell here so far. I will live in the now be mindful.

I'm so sorry I didn't realize your mother had passed away. I knew she was having a rough go of it. My mom was a trooper too when she battled colon cancer for 5 years before her passing. I am found peace though after many years knowing she is no longer suffering and is now in heaven. Take care, Kim

How is your mom doing now? 5 years in pretty long for bulbar onset. Are you Cardinal fans? My husband and son are big fans. They are real bears when they don't win. lol Take care, Kim

I did not realize that your mom was diagnosed 5 long years ago. How old was she if you don't mind me asking? My mom is 86 and was diagnosed with bulbar onset dec 2012. I hope you r doing ok. Take care, Trina

Thank you Katie. I have thought about grief counseling. May peace be with you.....

Best thing I can say is give yourself time! I still have the occasional panic attack or bad dream, but the circumstances here were very bizarre... besides being Glen's caregiver, but Glen's dad passed away shortly after Glen's diagnosis. Then in a 6 month period we lost my mother in law, my mother, my younger brother, Glen, and Glen's uncle. So yeah I'm still dealing with some mental and physical issues. Try meditating before you go to bed..if you have a smart phone, Mayo Clinic has a very nice guided meditation app. Also.. I STRONGLY advise finding a therapist that specializes in grief counselling. Mine helped me a LOT. The other important ingredient is TIME. Give yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need.

Hugs
Katie

Hi bemindful,
At 1:18 this morning my mother-in-law passed away. It is completely surreal writing this. But we knew that there would be a time that we wouldn't be able to meet her needs and we were going ahead with Mediaid paper work. That way we would have everything ready for when that time came. She just decided that her time had come. It was peaceful and she seemed as comfortable as one could be, at least I hope. Whatever you decide, you know in your heart what is best know that you are doing the right thing for you and your family. We had the option last night of having her wear the bipap machine to sustain her or just sedate her and let nature take it's course. We decided not to use the bipap since she hated it and wouldn't wear it when she had the choice. Whether or not others would have made that decision we knew it was right for us. Don't second guess your decisions an stay strong.- shannon

That is terrible about the nursing home I kind of wonder the same thing if it won't just be more stress and worrying and then to turn around and have to bring him back home anyways. I have been thinking about Hospice too, everyone seems to have a lot of good things to say about them so maybe that is a better option... I wish there was an easy answer but there just doesn't seem to be. If you want you can email me at [email protected] or message me on facebook lesliemcdonald2010 with your number, I wouldn't want you to post it in open forum. I wish I had more people to talk to as well, seems my friends don't really want to hear about it and most don't understand anyways (I can't say I really blame them lol) but it is easier to talk to someone who knows what you're going through and isn't put off by discussing it or just letting you vent after a bad day when it's needed.

Oh my, I wish I could reach far enough to give you a big hug, I know exactly how you feel! The last thing I ever wanted for him was a nursing home but I also do not wish for my last memories of him to be anger, frustration and resentment and honestly I am so at the end of my wits most days that I worry about my own lashing out more and more and that is not healthy for anyone either. I would love to know how the nursing home went if you don't mind sharing... I am so lost in all of this and trying to make the best of a bunch of bad choices.