Pals

My hd told me last night he wants his legs to go to normal where he is able to walk and bring me to Hawaii, to show me Hawaii. He went on to say he will exercise them and the muscle will return. I tried to tell him they would not. He responded by saying, he will see the doctor and the doctor will restore his legs. It is so sad when he talks that way. Today, very gently, I explain to him with examples of others that his legs will not get better. He showed me his lower lips the last two days. It used to be his upper lip, now it is his lower lip. Oh lord, his speech is going further. He talks with difficulty and I am able to understand him now and again. His speech is likely to go completely soon. His speech goes faster than his legs or arms. It might be easier if he is aware what he has. He does not know what he has and does not want to know. I explain to him what he has and I know little enters his head. It has been that way the past few years. He would go in and see the doctor, came out and told me nothing is wrong. It would be later I found there was a lot wrong. After that, I make sure I go in with him and found he would talk about any and everything but his health condition. Sometimes it felt so unreal. The doctor and I would be discussing his condition seriously and he would go into his stories, about his writing, his painting. Or busy telling the doctor how handsome he is, anything but his health condition. I have a sick feeling in the gut. I hate that feeling, mix of fear and dread.