oldie but goodie


Senior member
Jun 8, 2011
Sandy Springs
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

A sign on a blinds and curtain truck:
Blind man driving

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix

In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.

On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office :
If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.

On a Plumber's truck :
We repair what your husband fixed.

On another Plumber's truck :
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
Invite us to your next blowout.

On an Electrician's truck :
Let us remove your shorts

In a Non-smoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on
fire and will take appropriate action.

On a Maternity Room door :
Push. Push. Push.

At a Car Dealership :
The best way to get back on your feet - miss
a car payment.

Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you

In a Veterinarian's waiting room :
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your
payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU
will be de-lighted.

In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in
and get fed up.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank Heaven for little grills.

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

and last, but certainly not least:

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
Caution -
This Truck is full of political promises