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  1. irismarie

    blessed?

    I hate this disease with all my heart, cry and get depressed and miss my life like mad. But a weird thought has been worming its way into my heart and head lately - that we are experiencing an amazing though terrible happening. We are seeing/feeling our bodies, our lives, all our abilities being...
  2. irismarie

    pegs again

    this week i have to decide. Getting too bad to wait enby longer. but is it worth it just to watch and ewperience further deterioation? Would you peggers do it again or with hindsight would you have thought as i am thinkiing - oh let's get it all over with. Fed bup with sufferring...
  3. irismarie

    What to do while dying

    DOC SAYS i will die within this year. SO ONE WOULD LIKE BTO FILLq those days with business ans fun and love and laughter. INstead of which i am bored bored bored, lonely lonely lonely, sad sad sad? Alone, homeless, scared, I see everyone in this place hospice - surrounded by their loving...
  4. irismarie

    thank you

    you, my dear, dear friends kept me alive while i have been going through horror. I love you all and thank byou for being in my life my daughters have shoved me into an institution in cambridge and as it is only short term they then have to find me another so i am living with no home, no friends...
  5. irismarie

    hospital

    just a bquick not to let you know th&at from this pm i shall be in Montauban hospital in the neuromogy department. couple of falls whiole trying to transfer yesterday and during the nightbwhen i was alone and i hurt ; just p&r&yin gmy daogs will be ok. people have promlzed to look &fter them I...
  6. irismarie

    stupid hope

    we know there is none so why do we go on thinking we will fight to live this little bit much longer just in case things get better? OK, tomorrow will seem a little better and we shall start to make plans again but the day after? Somehow it does not seem to be the illness that is the focus of my...
  7. irismarie

    panic attacks

    these are hell. I hear Jay has them as well. Are they part of the malady or a result ofsome medicaiton. ANyone else getting them. It is sheer Hell. Can we build a picture?
  8. irismarie

    wheelchair wheels

    as I was fed up with punctures in my chair wheels I had them changed for solid ones. I wish now I had invested in lots of spare wheels with pneumatic tyres. The ride on solid tyres shakes my teeth out and the chair no llonger mounts pavements or other obstacles with ease. Far more dangerous...
  9. irismarie

    hello

    just a quick hello and apology. NO WIFI working in the hospital where i was whisked at four in the morning by four super handsome firemen with blue lights flashing (quicker than ambulance). The vehicle had the blue lights flashing, not the firemen. I had a v v tiny pneumonia but made a lot of...
  10. irismarie

    no

    docs trying hardest to get me into institution which would mean dogs in refuge if I cannot find a full time live in. cannot bear this. If only I had been nicer to S and not driven him away. I SO NEED HIM HERE just for these last few months but the powers that be are tryng so hard for me. PHysio...
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