GregK
Moderator emeritus
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2013
- Messages
- 3,295
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 11/2012
- Country
- US
- State
- CO
- City
- Colorado Springs
As a young man I thought I had a pretty good handle on "pride".
I was proud of my country. I wasn't blind, mind you. I did live through Vietnam, but overall I thought that Americans were kind, creative and resourceful.
I was proud of having served. I was a med lab tech in the USAF and VA (yes, I recognize the irony). I was a programmer for the state of Oregon. I was a computer scientist for the NSA.
Over the years I became aware of another use of the word pride. A negative use.
It usually came in the form of "he's a proud man". It was usually directed at some old coot who refused to take some action or help which was sorely needed.
"Pride" in these cases was synonymous with stubborn, foolish and just downright stupid.
In July of 2015 I fell while using my rollator. It was on the wood floor and my head made a decent klonk when it hit. But other than a sore butt I had no ill effects. In spite of recommendations to the contrary and in spite of an increasing uneasiness, I kept on walking with my rollator.
In retrospect I see that I was proud of the fact that I could still walk.
Unfortunately that pride wasn't the good kind.
In mid November I fell again. This time in the bedroom on carpet. It was a pretty good one. My head barely missed the solid oak bed frame, but did make good contact with the floor. For some odd reason my feet didn't move so I sort of 'folded' and hyperextended them. It hurt to bend them for weeks.
My wife heard the fall, threw a bowl of grapes in the air and came to my rescue.
Over the next two months I lost more than in the past year.
I can do a standing transfer onto the toilet but no longer have the arm and leg strength to stand up off of it. I have to use a transfer board to get back onto my pwc.
I used to park my rollator near the shower and use the shower grab rails to walk over to my shower chair; now I have to park my pwc next to the shower chair and do a pivot transfer into the chair. My wife backs the pwc out of the shower.
Small efforts cause me to lose my breath
My left hand cannot now hold anything of weight, my left index finger and thumb are almost useless. My right hand is noticeably weaker.. My Sonicare toothbrush takes both hands.
I gave up on driving: my right arm cannot turn the steering wheel and my right thumb can't depress the shift button.
I seem (hope, pray?) to have plateaued again.
I'm not looking for sympathy. Stubborn and foolish do not deserve sympathy.
Stupid doesn't deserve sympathy.
The moral here is pretty obvious.
If you allow your pride to control your actions you do so at your own peril.
I was proud of my country. I wasn't blind, mind you. I did live through Vietnam, but overall I thought that Americans were kind, creative and resourceful.
I was proud of having served. I was a med lab tech in the USAF and VA (yes, I recognize the irony). I was a programmer for the state of Oregon. I was a computer scientist for the NSA.
Over the years I became aware of another use of the word pride. A negative use.
It usually came in the form of "he's a proud man". It was usually directed at some old coot who refused to take some action or help which was sorely needed.
"Pride" in these cases was synonymous with stubborn, foolish and just downright stupid.
In July of 2015 I fell while using my rollator. It was on the wood floor and my head made a decent klonk when it hit. But other than a sore butt I had no ill effects. In spite of recommendations to the contrary and in spite of an increasing uneasiness, I kept on walking with my rollator.
In retrospect I see that I was proud of the fact that I could still walk.
Unfortunately that pride wasn't the good kind.
In mid November I fell again. This time in the bedroom on carpet. It was a pretty good one. My head barely missed the solid oak bed frame, but did make good contact with the floor. For some odd reason my feet didn't move so I sort of 'folded' and hyperextended them. It hurt to bend them for weeks.
My wife heard the fall, threw a bowl of grapes in the air and came to my rescue.
Over the next two months I lost more than in the past year.
I can do a standing transfer onto the toilet but no longer have the arm and leg strength to stand up off of it. I have to use a transfer board to get back onto my pwc.
I used to park my rollator near the shower and use the shower grab rails to walk over to my shower chair; now I have to park my pwc next to the shower chair and do a pivot transfer into the chair. My wife backs the pwc out of the shower.
Small efforts cause me to lose my breath
My left hand cannot now hold anything of weight, my left index finger and thumb are almost useless. My right hand is noticeably weaker.. My Sonicare toothbrush takes both hands.
I gave up on driving: my right arm cannot turn the steering wheel and my right thumb can't depress the shift button.
I seem (hope, pray?) to have plateaued again.
I'm not looking for sympathy. Stubborn and foolish do not deserve sympathy.
Stupid doesn't deserve sympathy.
The moral here is pretty obvious.
If you allow your pride to control your actions you do so at your own peril.