sleepy
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2015
- Messages
- 119
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 01/2016
- Country
- AUS
- State
- NSW
- City
- Armidale
not my usual hilarious self (no really I am), but have thoughts in my head. maybe others have dealt with?
I find myself reading the recent 'in memory' threads, I've started to call it the departure lounge, names I knew, people I didn't get the opportunity to. And some comments from cals in various threads - don't want to single any particular posts out, its been a creeping thought, building momentum, getting more persistent.
how can I put my cals through this? my kids? all day caring, thinking about needs, managing nurses, staying ahead of the progress, managing the new normal. feeding clothing washing toileting communicating. No time for other stuff. how can I make it all about me and my needs? maybe it would be easier if it was quick - still sad, but they will have to deal with the end at some point.
I will be discussing with psych, but it doesn't feel like depression talking. feels like having a lucid harsh reality moment in the otherwise 'stay positive' ocean. The ocean views are lovely but am I stealing their time?
I find myself reading the recent 'in memory' threads, I've started to call it the departure lounge, names I knew, people I didn't get the opportunity to. And some comments from cals in various threads - don't want to single any particular posts out, its been a creeping thought, building momentum, getting more persistent.
how can I put my cals through this? my kids? all day caring, thinking about needs, managing nurses, staying ahead of the progress, managing the new normal. feeding clothing washing toileting communicating. No time for other stuff. how can I make it all about me and my needs? maybe it would be easier if it was quick - still sad, but they will have to deal with the end at some point.
I will be discussing with psych, but it doesn't feel like depression talking. feels like having a lucid harsh reality moment in the otherwise 'stay positive' ocean. The ocean views are lovely but am I stealing their time?