My strength comes from the Lord....when I am not busy being completely angry at Him. Tonight, I have little strength. But to be honest, if it weren't for God, I would have no strength.
I don't understand this disease? Today, I have been watching a part of myself, my wonderful hubby, disappear before my eyes, one moment at a time. I don't know why. I question why. I am angry and selfish. But determined that my hubby will never know that I even doubt that God has a plan. Because, my life, has been one challenge after another. But God has shown me the way through each challenge and reminds me daily that the reason he puts people and challenges in front of me is because that I am His disciple. And He has prepared me to live a life that impacts others. My gift, is the gift of service. I will live it and wonder what God is preparing me for next. When I graduated high school, I began Oklahoma Baptist University as a Foreign Missions major....that's right, I knew he was calling me to be a foreign missionary. But, like Jonah, I began to run from God. I should never have done that. He would have made my life so fulfilling had I just allowed Him to bless me. Most of my life I have been trying to please self rather than fulfill His will and plan. I should be ashamed as I have had more wonderful things than Jesus ever imagined and yet many times I remain selfish. I love my husband and care for him so that the Lord will know that I am listening and ready to do His will. Many of you may not be Christian and that is okay because it is a choice that should never be forced on anyone. But know that I will be supportive on this forum and will listen to anyone regardless of their beliefs and backgrounds. We are all facing a force that is beyond human understanding and need others to help us through all the trials and tribulations.
I can only hope that my husband will find strength as he is the one who has daily pain and suffering, watching his young life waste away before his very eyes. If only he could bring himself to come to this place where there are others feeling the same pain he struggles with.
Thanks to all the supportive people on this forum as, at times, I am sure they do not know the impact they have with helping others deal with this frightening disease. I will try to continue to be strong for those in need. Please don't hesitate to contact me for an ear to listen.
Cathy