The Case the Cat Dragged In: The Forum Follies go to London

[peter57]

Ok Phil and Paul, are you with it now, said Senior Superintendant Annie after a pause from outlining who was who.

I know it’s a bit complicated but it all revolves around a cat, a cocktail and a woman.

I think I can fill in some more piped up Peter, the cat is probably the one called Prognostikitty, which is currently in the basement here, well that’s where it last was seen, and the cocktail is the one the lady in the red dress had, the one that probably, when the cat drank some of it had the sarge dancing all over the place.

And what about the woman, piped up Glen, what do you know about her ?

Why nothing, nothing at all replied Peter, turning away so they couldn’t see his eyes.
Nothing my foot replied brother, what has that woman with the red dress, who was speaking in a strange accent have to do with this case. Come on spill the beans.

Well replied Peter. They all lent forward in their chairs, eager to find out.

 

[rose]

.... Curiously absent from the meeting was Superintendent Godsanswertowomen. Even though the squad made no mention of his absence, there was someone who wished to know where he was.

Back at his garden flat in London, Lucy awaited his return.

Suddenly, something (was it a sound or just the scent?) roused her from her nap. She ran to the French doors that opened onto the patio just in time to see a shadowy figure hurrying away.

After a couple of ineffective barks, she went back over to her spot on the sofa, circled, and laid her chin down on her front paw with a sigh.

 

[Brother]

Then who was staring intently at the photo of a cat? Could it be Superintendent Godsanswertowomen's evil twin brother? Time stood still as every one leant forward in their chairs ... a minute passed. The silence was broken by the front door swinging open. A towering man filled the doorway and cast a long shadow across the dance floor. It was Big Al, the bouncer.

 

[rose]

oops... I missed the part about the hushed discussion being led by Barry the G man...my bad LOL. But hey, evil twin is not out of the question... however, for the sake of less lunacy, what about if Lucy is waiting for Barry after the meeting has been over for some time, and the rest of the Bod Squad has wandered back over to the the bar and ordered another round of drinks. After they return to their table, no one remarks about Barry G's absence.

.... Enter Big Al, the bouncer.... (long shadow and all)

 

[abbas child]

Phil remarked over his beer to P Zoo, "You have no idea how many places I've had to go today. Rose Dunne had me looking for a man, a bum in the loo; never found him. Got here for the meeting after looking at some very interesting classified documents, and there you were break dancing," he shook his head. The whole thing was so confusing. That tramp was supposed to tell him a tip about the inside job and who was doing it. He never saw the tramp. Saw a shady looking guy with a big hat walking through Brother's, though.

"Sergeant",

"What, Phil? And keep your voice down. The music gets any louder we'll have to quit talking here."

"Who'd that tramp talk to when he was here in Brother's? Did you catch it?"

"Phil, I was on the floor, Buddy." P. Zoo looked up at the ceiling. "Wait a minute. I saw the guy sitting with the Super., Barry the G. That makes no sense. He was supposed to meet with you?"

"Right. We need to get this sorted. I'll tell Rose in the morning. Got to keep MI-5 happy."

"Well, then. Best tell Annie as well, then. Remember who we work for. The Yard."

 

[Phil M]

Thats right.....arrrrr!

 

[BarryG]

"Ok everyone, now that I've given you all the time that you need to talk amongst yourselves let's get down to business" shouted Barry the Mouth (he knew that his big mouth would be useful again someday)

"You may or may not have noticed that I may or may not have been here (or it may or may not have been my evil twin brother) during the last few hours and that may or may not have been entirely intentional on my part" Barry G stopped and looked around the bar for effect

"As you know, we have been looking for a cat with very special qualities (although I personally have never met a quality cat), a mysterious woman (and aren't they all?) and an unnamed cocktail"

"Uh, excuse me governor" interrupted Phil

"Yes, what is it? Can't you see I'm busy stating the obvious here?" snapped The Mouth

"But sir, why is your jacket squirming? Is that a cat in your pocket or are you just excited to see the countess?" At that Sergeant PZ started sneezing uncontrollably.

"Well I was going to wait to announce that I have found the missing pussy and because I have been stroking him in my pocket for the last hour I have been having the most wonderful visions! Visions of world peace and freedom from disease and hunger! And more sex!"

With that the bod squad groaned in unison and at least three eyes rolled.

The mysterious woman in red quietly slipped out the door behind the bar...

Meanwhile in the basement Rambeux was doing some remedial training as the newest member of the radical cat league

 

[Phil M]

And wire cutting is such a tiring job. The luck cat had to catch up on her sleep. Mean while the case is being solved my dear Watson! It was super squirell all along!

 

[Zaphoon]

Shucks! What is it about that squirrel? Someone needs to neuter that son-of-a-gun!

 

[tomby]

...when the shabby bum, Tom the mole, or tommole, as he was known in the seedy alleyways he frequented (gone were the fiery days of his youth, when he was known as Hot Tommole...), anyway, when tommole slipped up to Barry's table, he was alert to the possibility of the evil twin...Tommole gave the signal:
"Barry!"
Barry gave the countersign:"Barry, Barry bo Barry Bonana fanna fo Farry"
Tommole:"Fee fy mo Marry, Barry!"
HA! thought Tommole, it is the evil twin - he forgot the rule with B!
So, tommole slipped him the picture of Rambeaux instead...

 

[abbas child]

[an aside to PZ. I used to help "Neunering" as one owner called it, cats and dogs. I'd be willing to give the squirrel a go if you have a sleeping potion, as while I can cut without a wince, I don't "do torture".]

Unfortunately, only Tommole realized this wasn't the Super. Barry G. The Bod Squad did feel, as a whole, that this picture of Rambeux was awfully familiar. Phil was the first to catch on and realize this was Auntie Beth's Rambeux. He had no clue why the Super didn't recognize the famous feline, but something made him stay quiet... He wondered if the others, those who'd known Rambeux, recognized the picture as a hoax.

Tommole, meanwhile, was around the side of Brother's, waiting for Phil to leave. They needed a meet.

 

[peter57]

Peter walked back into the bar, only to be met with a volley of questions from Barry and Phil.
Where have you been?
Did you find the cat?
Just who is the lady in the red dress?
Just who are you?

Just calm down all of you, replied Peter. All will be reviewed in due time. First up we need to catch the cat so to make it easier i have enlisted a mate of mine.
Come on in, he shouted to the door, come on in.

The door opened and this thing walked in. It was short, app 15 inches high, stocky and was drooling all over the place.
Guys meet Taz, Taz the guys.
Taz looked at the guys, snarled and said, i want a muffin before we get going and a coffee wouldn't go astray either.

Peter said to the group, who still had their mouths open and some were indeed themselves drooling. If any one can find the cat Taz can, heading off to get his coffee and muffin, leaving the others to stare at Taz.

 

[abbas child]

SS Annie, wearing a large bakery bag on one arm, called to Peter that she had the Taz snacks with her in the bag.

"Taz and Peter came by the office to reminisce about a former time, and the little Beastie told me his requirement before beginning to work. Here it is." Taz thanked her in a very different tone. He remembered a time when she'd supplied a great deal of raw chicken. They were some good days.

Taz belched loudly, brushed the crumbs off his large mouth and announced the time had come to take out the Prognostikitty. Truth was, there really was no need to tell the future, which humans seemed to find difficult to understand, or at least to accept.

Peter asked Phil to open the door leading down to the cellar, then told Taz it was attack time.

An enormous screech followed the word "attack", and then with drool simply flying all over a horrified clientele, Taz leaped through the door.

 

[BarryG]

Taz, in attack mode, leaped through the door and came face to face and fang to fang with the most fearsome creature he had ever encountered. A creature, though small, that was all tooth and claws.

After a brief but intense battle Taz, with many wounds inflicted on both sides, managed to back the beast into a corner and for the first time he got a good look at his opponent in the dim light. It was a scraggly cat that looked like it had been neglected for months.

Because Taz was multilingual, speaking not only English and Aussie but several animal languages as well, he tried to talk to the ferocious feline. "Are you the cat that tells the future?" he growled in his best cat.

"I can tell you your future" snarled his opponent "Get out of my way or I'll tear you to shreds"

"Calm down, all I want to know is if you are the cat called Prognostikitty"

"Me, Toad Nose? You've got to be kidding! No, some smelly broad in a too tight, too red dress came down here a few minutes ago and scooped him up. She said something about fur and a castle and they both disappeared out the back door."

As Taz translated cat into English for the Bod Squad it became apparent that the mysterious cat, woman and cocktail had eluded them again. At least now they knew who and what they were dealing with. It was the Baroness and she was the head of FUR, the Feline Underground Resistance. FUR had recently been working on a new formula, code-named "Cat-A-Tonic" which when ingested by humans would make them docile and kind to animals. It had a lesser known side effect that it made 17 year old twitchers forget about their perceived neurological problems and go get girlfriends.

The Baroness, a known cat lover, planned to release the formula into the London water supply after she went to her Scottish castle to gather her cat brigade. She knew that she was going to be successful because of her recent encounter with Prognosikitty and looked forward to putting her plan into action as she roared up the motorway.

 

[brooksea]

LMAO! Good one BG!