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Lkaibel

Very helpful member
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Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,529
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
In a very odd coincidence, a casual friend of mine is also a CALS. Her then fiance was diagnosed with ALS is November of 2013 after a 9 month long diagnostic process. Given a lot of his symptoms and that he is a vet and over 50 white male (higher risk groups all around per our Dr anyway) I am unsure why the Dx took so long, but so it was. His presenting symptom was dramatic and bilateral, he just could not raise his arms past his shoulders one morning.

The saddest thing was that they had both really just found love. They had just moved in together, had been together less than a year. so that was all supplanted by the diagnostic process first and then the Dx, of course. She felt like I did though, that it was almost a relief to finally just HEAR it, not wait anymore.

She left her job in pretty short order, as did he. They were blessed to be able to spend time in Florida two winters in a row, and go on cruises, and have some fun. Her husband's physical decline has been a little different. He has had no meaningful use of arms or legs for some time. The power wheelchair and van and all of that come into the picture pretty early. He could pivot transfer though until just very recently, so that was a blessing. What is interesting is that he has been able to eat and talk, no peg. His lungs have sustained him, though have steadily declined and he refused a trilogy from the start. He has had a crazy ride with bowel issues from the start.

My friend has been a total trooper through some very heavy duty caregiving. They married about six months after his Dx, and she has been amazing.

Well BANG, last week the Doctor announced that her husband is "actively" dying. She is not even sure at this point what all is failing, but it's multiple systems and he is on his way out. In and out of the hospital and home, trying to get comfortable. I feel so bad for her, it really brought this disease home to me. Brian will not be in that shape because he has made his choices VERY clear to me and remains steadfast so far in those choices. It just reminded me that yup, this is fatal indeed and may be so when it is least expected.
 
Lenore, my thoughts are with you and your friend. I agree when you hear or see someone in the final stages...it makes it very real. I can understand your feelings.

Knowing what lies ahead is so hard. We just have to vent and mentally march right back into today. My Steve has mace his choices. We will be there to back them and love them.

ALS stinks! Hugs Lenore!
 
I understand completely that realization. My PALS had a friend that had been diagnosed in March '15 and passed away in November '15, one month after my PALS diagnosis. Although I had never met him, I cried the entire day. It made it so much more real. HUGS!
 
Really sad, I wish she had joined here and we could have all supported her xxx
 
Steve had been progressing rather quickly with his limbs. One day we noticed jaundice(my son and I). Then he was peeing tea colored urine though he was getting fluids. At the VA, I asked about these changes and was only told it was part of the process. Once I saw his labs, I knew his kidneys and liver were shutting down. As you know, each path is different. Maybe though this is what the doctor meant.
 
We had a really exceptional weather day here and we took a drive and I felt better. We talked about some tough things earlier in the day, so that is never pleasant but you have to do it I know.

Thanks everyone, always appreciate the support.
 
...we noticed jaundice...he was peeing tea colored urine ... I asked about these changes and was only told it was part of the process.

I'm disappointed that someone would tell you it's "just part of the process" as though you didn't need to know that his organs were shutting down. CALS need to know our PALS condition so we can help them get through each day.

We need to know what's going on. We're the ones who are planning and implementing actions each day to help our PALS with whatever they need--emotional lifts, physical comfort, a little fresh air, or perhaps signing some important paperwork.

We need to know the truth, so we can make a reasonable plan for our PALS, day by day.

All CALS beware. Whenever you see the doctor, be sure you've been given the best information so you can understand it.
 
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