Feeling alone and lonely

[chrisroski]

I haven't written anything on here for awhile but I do read articles almost everyday. Jan 2013 will be one year that I was diagnosed. As of right now i am still mobile, but I am starting to see some slight weakness in right hand. My biggest problem has and still is the man that I live with. He is making my life more of a living hell. He to is sick, stage 4 prostrate cancer, starts chemo in Jan. but seems to think that we are in a contest on who is going to die first. He is extremely mean and nasty to me, it seems to have started when my speech went, I have the iPad to talk for me, but most times when I type something he doesn't even let it finish before he butts in. I have been told to shout up,that he can't stand me, he is going to put me in a closet, break or hide the iPad, so I try real hard not to communicate at all, cause no matter what I say, I'm starting an argument, so I'm quiet and therefore I feel alone and lonely, my daughter lives here but she works, she always lets me type and listens to what I say. I have been told to move out, but where do I go, my other daughter has 3 kids, there is no room, and honestly I love my grandkids, but don't know if I could handle all that noise, I have alerted the nurse at my clinic of his behavior and threats to me. They noticed a change in him last visit. I understand he is sick, but that is no excuse to treat me like he does. It seems he likes to get me upset, and then when I cry he makes fun or me. We have not been out of this Ouse is over two weeks, except for Christmas Day when I went to my daughters. I really hate him, I can't help,it. I have told his kids, they have talked to him. But of course he denied everything, and he is smart enough to behave when people are around, and then change when no one is home. I guess I might have to ask the clinic if there is somewhere I could live cause I can't take this. What happens when things really get bad, I don't want him to care for me, he has no clue about anything involving this disease. Tries to get him to read stuff but not interested, it is such a mess, I don't know what to do or where to go. Any ideas please?

 

[ottawa girl]

O'n teffipif cz zuas dosdantvepdit.

Zua tiin vu ci veloph vji csapv ug ov- jewi zua duptofisif vjev nezci ji tjuamf nuwi uav? Fuit ji jewi genomz xju duamf veli jon op? Og tu, vjip zua xomm jewi vu duptofis jewoph mowi-op jimq. Qisjeqt e pastoph tvafipv? Og puv, vjip O xuamf ashi zua vu tqiel xovj e tudoem xuslis- vjiz ugvip jewi e motv ug huuf situasdit epf tjuamf ci ecmi vu tvodl jepfmi vjopht gus zua. Ug duasti og zua esi nessoif, epf uxp qsuqisvz vuhivjis, zua nez emtu siraosi ep evvuspiz. Nezci zua duamf tvez xovj vji hsepfloft katv up ep opvison epf tjusv visn cetot.

Op nz nopf, topdi xi esi up monovif voni- xjz puv ci xjisi xi xepv vu ci epf xovj vji qiuqmi xi muwi.

Vjisi natv ci puvjoph mupimois vjep mowoph xovj e petvz qistup xju fuit puv iwip miv zua gopotj e tipvipdi. Jux exgam.

 

[vickim]

Vjisi esi junit gus ecatif xunip epf djomfsip, vjiz jimq xovj hivvoph zuas mogi up vsedl. Genomz tiswodit duamf jimq vuu. Vji juni zua mowi op pux cimuph vu zua cuvj? Jisi xjisi O mowi vjisi esi eqesvnipvt vjev esi sipvif vu jepfodeqqif Opfowofaemt epf cetif up opduni. O en tussz gus emm vjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj. O en qsezoph gus zua epf O xotj zua qiedi.

 

[berniec74]

Zua tjuamf puv jewi vu ipfasi vjot vzqi ug ecati sihesfmitt ug jot us zuas ommpitt! Zua tjuamf tvez op zuas juni epf xusl vu hiv jon op vu e tlommif pastoph gedomovz us ettotvif mowoph gedomovz. Qmieti qmieti duptamv e qetvus, qsoitv, tudoem xuslis, zuas mudem EMT djeqvis....iwip zuas fudvus't uggodi. Vjot fotieti tadlt epf zua tjuamf puv jewi vu mowi moli vjev op zuas uxp juni. O xomm qsez gus zua.

 

[joni51]

Cmitt zuas jiesv, zua tjuamf puv ci jewoph vu fiem xovj vjot.. Zua piif tuni jimq cigusi ji hivt xusti.. O juqi vjev zua dep gohasi tunivjoph uav cideati vjot tovaevoup ot tdesz...((JAHT))

 

[HelenL]

O vjopl zua jef qutvif cigusi vjev ov xet jot juati, tu O'n cetoph nz eptxis up vjev... Demm zuas NFE dupvedv epf etl ecuav juatoph gus zuastimg. Vjiz nez jewi tuni qmedit xovj uqipopht. Huuf madl, zua fitiswi civvis.

 

[rose]

Nz jiesv csielt gus zua Djsot, op nz uqopoup, inuvoupem ecati ot vji wisz xustv lopf. O xepv vu vjopl ecuav uqvoupt gus zua, epf xomm nittehi zua tuup.

 

[lms9258]

Djsot, O ehsii xovj Suti. Vjepl zua gus vszoph vu gohasi tunivjoph uav Suti.

Mease

 

[cukita99]

xjev ot ov xovj qiuqmi vszoph vu qav at op dmutiv. nz tup vimmt ni vjv xjip ji hivt gsatvsevif.

 

[Wings]

Djsot , on fiiqmz tussz vu sief xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj. Et jesf et ov nez ci, duapv zuas cmittopht vuu - zua esi tvomm nucomi tu qisjeqt incsedi vjev epf neli vji djephit zua dep - xjomi zua dep. Hivvoph vji sohjv taqqusv vu fu vjot o vjopl ot onqusvepv vuu - siedj uav vu iovjis genomz, gsoipft us e mudem dunnapovz taqqusv hsuaq. Vji tvsitt ug mowoph apfis tadj inuvoupem ecati xomm veli ovt vumm up zuas uxp raemovz ug jiemvj/mogi tu qmieti fup'v fimez neloph vjuti djephit... incsedi vji Pix Zies xovj tuni qutovowi djephit gus zua.

 

[olly]

Ommpitt csopht uav vji citv epf vji xustv op qiuqmi,tuni esi ecmi vu duqi xisi et uvjist hiv gsatvsevif epf metj uav cav ugvup fup'v niep xjev vjiz tez.
Jet zuas jatcepf djephif topdi zua cuvj huv zuas foehputot us jet ji emxezt jef ep ecatowi tvsiel?
Zua tjuamf puv jewi vu nuwi uav ug zuas juni cav uvjis vjep mowoph xovj genomz zua e vxu djuodit........
Tvez cav tii og zua dep hiv e desis xju ot xovj zua fasoph vji voni zuas feahjvis ot ev xusl tu ji jet pu uqqisvapovz vu ci ecatowi.
Us tii og zua dep eqqmz gus ep ettotvif mowoph eddunnufevoup.
Cav xjeviwis zua fidofi et o vumf epuvjis nincis xovj tovaevoupt moli vjot zua piif vu hiv zuas eggeost epf xotjit gus nifodem epf gopepdoem vjopht op usfis et tuup et quttocmi.
E gsoipf ug nopi xju jef ep ecatowi xogi xeovif vomm ov xet vuu mevi,ji xet fanqif op e pastoph juni epf foif xovjop xiilt.......tji iwip sigatif vu qez vji pastoph juni epf fupevif jot cufz tu tji xuamf puv jewi vu qez gus e gapisem.
Zua esi vji qsousovz,fu xjev ot citv gus zua.
(((jaht)))

 

[laurel]

Djsot O giim tu cefmz gus zua. Emm vjev O dep vjopl ug vjev nohjv jimq ot tiioph og ji xuamf duptofis ep epvofiqsittepv. Nepz qiuqmi xovj fiqsittoup jewi muvt ug ephis epf ossovecomovz, epf op molimojuuf ji ot tdesif, ephsz epf fiqsittif. O lpux vjev ot pu iydati vu ecati zua, cav e huuf fudvus xovj iyqisoipdi op vjot esie duamf qsitdsoci nifodevoup vjev nohjv jimq jon. Vji qsucmin ug duasti ot hivvoph jon vu edlpuxmifhi vjev ji jet e qsucmin epf vu veli nifodevoup. Nezci zuas pasti ev vji dmopod duamf vsz vemloph xovj jon, epf tii og ji xomm uqip aq vu jis. Geomoph vjev, nuwoph nez ci vji upmz eptxis. O en tu tussz vjev zua esi op vjot qutovoup. Tipfoph qsezist.

Measim

 

[Amber10]

Djsot, O vuvemmz ehsii xovj Measim. Emm qiuqmi jepfmi vjopht moli vjot foggisipvmz. Jewi zua hazt iwis huvvip emuph? Fu zua iwis veli voni vu veml ecuav vji vjoph zua hazt atif vu? Nezci optvief ug emxezt vemloph ecuav vji dassipv tovaevoup veml ecuav vjoph zua atif vu. Nz neop raitvoup ot ev epz quopv xisi zua hazt gsoipft?

Encis

 

[chrisroski]

O fup'v lpux cav O vjopl deati ji jet visnopem depdis epf O jewi e m t vjot ot e fuacmi xet nz. Ji ot tdesit, O'n tdesit, cav O jef nz loft epf jot loft tov fuxp gus e muph veml. Ji teof ji giimt ji jet vu jimq ni cav ji dep'v deati ji giimt exgam, tu jot loft epf nopi esi huoph vu vsz vu duni epf jimq at uav xjip vjiz dep. Epz nusi qsucmint epf O xomm neli e pix heni qmep.

 

[chrisroski]

O jewi emm nz qeqist op usfis, mowoph xomm. Quxis ug evvuspiz, xjev O xepv epf fup'v xepv. Gapisem jet ciip qsi-essephif nz loft jewi emm vji opgu epf lpux iyedvmz xjev vu fu. O fof vjev tuup et O xet foehputif, epf zit ji fof hiv moli vjot edvaemmz xjip vji vaci xet qav op epf vji tqiidj xipv. Ji tezt ji ot qsuaf ug ni gus jepfmoph vjot et ximm et O jewi, epf vjevpjipot puv vjev csewi. Xi jef e genomz niivoph epf emuv ug vjopht xisi csuahjv vu mohjv, tu pux jot loft epf nopi esi exesi uf iwiszvjoph, pu nusi jofoph vjopht. Juqigammz vjot xomm jimq epf vjiz xomm ci djidloph up ni nusi vjep iwis