Floridason
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2012
- Messages
- 33
- Reason
- Learn about ALS
- Country
- US
- State
- Florida
- City
- j
My name is Elliott Warner, I’m 23 years old.
In the process of 4-5 weeks, I’ve gone from considering how to get promoted at my job and graduating college(started late) to be scared I won’t wake up the next morning.
It started when late January, early Feb I thought my left leg was a bit weaker than my right one. But I’m right side dominate so it didn’t come off as a big deal. Just work out more right? Not even a week later my neck felt weaker moving up and down as opposed to side to side. As I was already in the hospital Jan 25 for heart palpations, which I thought I was having a heart attack, I already have a sense of hypochondria. I’m just that sensitive and fearful of my own health.
So what did I do when I felt weak? I goggled “muscle weakness”, and stumbled on the roller coaster that’s ALS.
I know that’s dumb, I know that’s silly. Doing so lead to paranoia and just intense fear that every little twitch on my body(which I’m already a twitcher) or feeling of weakness means I’m heading on the road towards my grave. I’ve checked my own reflexes for Babinski, watched my tongue for twitching, did speech tests, and of course internet research to fuel my own fears. I regret it and I only have myself to blame.
I went into a panic when as I was clenching my fists for muscle strength, something just didn’t seem right. My pinky and ring finger, just didn’t clutch in like they used to. Yes, at this point I’m looking too hard for things. I panicked, pretty much tossed myself into an anxiety attack, and went to the ER the following morning. I told them I was feeling these sensations and even mentioned ALS. They took me into the ER, gave me a CT scan of my brain, told me I was fine, nothing life threatening, and discharged me later that evening.
In the week of that (March 4th) and now, I’ve developed swallowing difficulties, my tongue is fairly inoperable, facial weakness, slight foot drops in both feet, hands are weaker, shoulders and abdominal muscles weaker, as well as lost 15lbs. I’ve begged and fought my way to doctors, nueros to see me, which I eventually did get openings.
I’ve had an MRI come up clean, my Nuero after testing me, says she doesn’t suspect ALS and my reflexes were a bit brisk, but my symptoms are concerning especially the sudden weight lost and swallowing issues. I even posted on the forum in the “Do I have ALS” section, describing my problems and just finding an outlet to my fears. Maybe it was all in my head. I’m just out of shape; it has to be something else. I’m way too young for this.
Yet when my hands, wrist, legs, tongue, and feet started weakening to the point I thought I was feeling the tension unravel in them, I’m terrified. That I haven’t been able to eat a solid meal in 2 weeks I’m shaking here. Everything I’ve read about this says symptoms progress, but over the course of months-years even. Not days. Especially not to young adults if at all.
I’ve yet to be diagnosed, I’ve got another appointment with Mayo in the morning. And with clinical processes I suspect it’ll be months before I’m ever “confirmed” with what I have. Yes, like a dummy I’ve looked up GB, CIDP, MMN, just stuff, hoping it’s something else entirely; That I could be a special case when the tested and usual symptoms don’t match. I’ve been praying that it’s all in my head and I’ll wake up all better, able to eat, talk clearly, everything I was doing just a month ago.
Even worst, I feel like I’ve scared myself into this sickness. Because I researched, I put it inside my body.
I wish I was making this story up. I wish it were just something teenagers came up to troll people. But it’s not a fabrication. It’s something that’s happening to me in a way that’s unheard of, and it has me absolutely lost and scared.
I’m not a terrible person. I’ve done all the right things. I don’t drink, smoke, I go to church(occasionally), donate to charities, etc. I’ve sacrificed things in my life, with the hope that playing a safe, logical, and reserved lifestyle would return with me having a long and fruitful one.
Only to be ambushed by this in a month’s worth of time.
Again, I haven’t been diagnosed, I’m still praying it’s something else entirely, but everything, as far as my knowledge goes, is pointing to ALS but at the same time, it’s like “what else could it be” after doing that process of elimination.
This is moving way to fast to be ALS, it has to be something like Gullian Barre, despite that I don’t have tingling or back pain.
Because if it is ALS, I don’t know how to fight it. I’ve never been put up with something like this. How do I go from wondering what suit to wear to work to how many months I have to live, and a lot of them in a wheel chair state.
I’m sorry to everyone if this story seems made up, I said anything offensive, or anything of the sort. I just don’t know what to do at all. I pray, I give this up to God that this’ll work out, but there is a fear in me that am killing me just as fast as these symptoms are.
Any words at all would be appreciated.
In the process of 4-5 weeks, I’ve gone from considering how to get promoted at my job and graduating college(started late) to be scared I won’t wake up the next morning.
It started when late January, early Feb I thought my left leg was a bit weaker than my right one. But I’m right side dominate so it didn’t come off as a big deal. Just work out more right? Not even a week later my neck felt weaker moving up and down as opposed to side to side. As I was already in the hospital Jan 25 for heart palpations, which I thought I was having a heart attack, I already have a sense of hypochondria. I’m just that sensitive and fearful of my own health.
So what did I do when I felt weak? I goggled “muscle weakness”, and stumbled on the roller coaster that’s ALS.
I know that’s dumb, I know that’s silly. Doing so lead to paranoia and just intense fear that every little twitch on my body(which I’m already a twitcher) or feeling of weakness means I’m heading on the road towards my grave. I’ve checked my own reflexes for Babinski, watched my tongue for twitching, did speech tests, and of course internet research to fuel my own fears. I regret it and I only have myself to blame.
I went into a panic when as I was clenching my fists for muscle strength, something just didn’t seem right. My pinky and ring finger, just didn’t clutch in like they used to. Yes, at this point I’m looking too hard for things. I panicked, pretty much tossed myself into an anxiety attack, and went to the ER the following morning. I told them I was feeling these sensations and even mentioned ALS. They took me into the ER, gave me a CT scan of my brain, told me I was fine, nothing life threatening, and discharged me later that evening.
In the week of that (March 4th) and now, I’ve developed swallowing difficulties, my tongue is fairly inoperable, facial weakness, slight foot drops in both feet, hands are weaker, shoulders and abdominal muscles weaker, as well as lost 15lbs. I’ve begged and fought my way to doctors, nueros to see me, which I eventually did get openings.
I’ve had an MRI come up clean, my Nuero after testing me, says she doesn’t suspect ALS and my reflexes were a bit brisk, but my symptoms are concerning especially the sudden weight lost and swallowing issues. I even posted on the forum in the “Do I have ALS” section, describing my problems and just finding an outlet to my fears. Maybe it was all in my head. I’m just out of shape; it has to be something else. I’m way too young for this.
Yet when my hands, wrist, legs, tongue, and feet started weakening to the point I thought I was feeling the tension unravel in them, I’m terrified. That I haven’t been able to eat a solid meal in 2 weeks I’m shaking here. Everything I’ve read about this says symptoms progress, but over the course of months-years even. Not days. Especially not to young adults if at all.
I’ve yet to be diagnosed, I’ve got another appointment with Mayo in the morning. And with clinical processes I suspect it’ll be months before I’m ever “confirmed” with what I have. Yes, like a dummy I’ve looked up GB, CIDP, MMN, just stuff, hoping it’s something else entirely; That I could be a special case when the tested and usual symptoms don’t match. I’ve been praying that it’s all in my head and I’ll wake up all better, able to eat, talk clearly, everything I was doing just a month ago.
Even worst, I feel like I’ve scared myself into this sickness. Because I researched, I put it inside my body.
I wish I was making this story up. I wish it were just something teenagers came up to troll people. But it’s not a fabrication. It’s something that’s happening to me in a way that’s unheard of, and it has me absolutely lost and scared.
I’m not a terrible person. I’ve done all the right things. I don’t drink, smoke, I go to church(occasionally), donate to charities, etc. I’ve sacrificed things in my life, with the hope that playing a safe, logical, and reserved lifestyle would return with me having a long and fruitful one.
Only to be ambushed by this in a month’s worth of time.
Again, I haven’t been diagnosed, I’m still praying it’s something else entirely, but everything, as far as my knowledge goes, is pointing to ALS but at the same time, it’s like “what else could it be” after doing that process of elimination.
This is moving way to fast to be ALS, it has to be something like Gullian Barre, despite that I don’t have tingling or back pain.
Because if it is ALS, I don’t know how to fight it. I’ve never been put up with something like this. How do I go from wondering what suit to wear to work to how many months I have to live, and a lot of them in a wheel chair state.
I’m sorry to everyone if this story seems made up, I said anything offensive, or anything of the sort. I just don’t know what to do at all. I pray, I give this up to God that this’ll work out, but there is a fear in me that am killing me just as fast as these symptoms are.
Any words at all would be appreciated.