Of Presents and Presence

[arkallen]

“It takes me about an hour and a half to wake Adam up, give him his medication, carry him into his bath, wash him, shave him, clean his teeth, dress him, walk him to the kitchen, give him his breakfast, put him in his wheelchair, and bring him to the place where he spends most of the day with therapeutic exercises”. At the height of his career, author Henri Nouwen moved from his post at Harvard University to a community called Daybreak, near Toronto, to take on the daily, mundane chores related above. He ministered not to intellectuals but to a young man who is considered by many a vegetable, a useless person who should not have been born. Yet up to the time of his death Nouwen insisted that he, not Adam was the chief beneficiary in this strange, miss-fitted relationship.​

This is my favourite passage from author Phillip Yancey*; and essential reading at this topsy-turvy time of year when the world goes mad. Cynicism is one of my greater failings, and I can feel a Yuletide relapse coming on fast! Christmas could be - should be - the richest and best moment in our calendar. Our carols are songs of gratitude, reconciliation and spiritual depth; and yet Christmas Bells no longer ring from cathedral spire or even from reindeer’s bridle, indeed the modern peal is heard from the cash-register alone. Somehow the season of Peace & Goodwill has been lessened to merely Loud & Mercenary.

Just today a friend pondered the strange compulsion many of us feel to have the windows washed, the bathrooms spotless, garden’s weeded, and the dog clipped and groomed for Christmas lunch. Why this frenetic, illusory craving for Utopia? It gets worse when the guests arrive: not only must our home and table sparkle like the star atop the tree; but every friendship and family bond glistens with a rapidly applied layer of unsullied purity. Crikey! No wonder some folks are looking for a side serve of Valium with the ham.

The New Testament (strangely sidelined) has more than a little to say on the subject of Christmas. It speaks a narrative not of fulfilment but of yielding; it tells of a day when all was given, and nothing received; a day of poverty and humility; a day that had more in common with the ordinary weeks of ordinary people than with the curious rites of December 25th...

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!
(Philippians 2).​

A fair bit has changed in my world since I wrote “Christmassed! ” , my 2009 Yuletide rant. It’s easy enough to criticise the outside world, but it’s my own soul that needs work. I’m looking for an inner Christmas, an incarnation. This Christmas, for me, is an opportunity to embrace the frailty of life. It's about becoming flesh, surrendering my deeply held notions of invincibility; adapting myself to the obvious realities of mortality. It is also about accepting the God-given humanity of my commonplace world. Not grasping for that which is lovely, but embracing those whom I love. The story of Nouwen and Adam is a parable of Christmas:

From the time spent with Adam, Nouwen said, he gained an inner peace so fulfilling that it made most of his other, more high-minded tasks seem boring and superficial by contrast. Early on, as he sat beside that silent, slow-breathing child-man, he realized how violent and marked with rivalry and competition, how obsessive, was his prior drive toward success in academia and Christian ministry. From Adam he learned that “what makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think but our ability to love. Whoever speaks about Adam as a vegetable or animal-like creature misses the sacred mystery that Adam is fully capable of receiving and giving love.” From Adam, Henri Nouwen learned – gradually, painfully, shamefully – that the way up is down. The gospels repeat one saying of Jesus more than any other: “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Truly, the way up is down.​

Rejoice!
________________________________________________________

* Yancey, Philip. I was Just Wondering. 2003, Sydney, Strand.

 

[abbas child]

Your Yancy quote, coupled with Phil. 2 brings to mind John 13--He girded Himself with a towel and washed the disciples' feet. Then He told them to do the same for each other--His action being an example to be followed. "The way up is the way down" as you said above.

Thank you, Roderick, for bringing this to us. We do need to adapt our thinking in coming to terms with outwardly wasting away.

Blessings to you and yours,
Ann

 

[pepsiman]

This right here:

"From the time spent with Adam, Nouwen said, he gained an inner peace so fulfilling that it made most of his other, more high-minded tasks seem boring and superficial by contrast."

Is where I now live.......
That peace didn't come while caring for Liz, or even for a long time after, but it's here now. I have no idea where this new "consciousness" may take me but I'm most definitely a better person for it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you Roderick, and all my friends on the Forum.

Dick

 

[arkallen]

This right here:

"From the time spent with Adam, Nouwen said, he gained an inner peace so fulfilling that it made most of his other, more high-minded tasks seem boring and superficial by contrast."

Is where I now live.......
That peace didn't come while caring for Liz, or even for a long time after, but it's here now. I have no idea where this new "consciousness" may take me but I'm most definitely a better person for it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you Roderick, and all my friends on the Forum.

Dick

I can't think that Ive every heard someone describe a sudden onset of peace Dick. Perhaps it could happen, but I think we tend to grow toward it as live teaches us its lessons under divine authority. I am more at peace than I have ever been; it's hard-won ground and like yourself I wonder where it will take me.

Blessings!

 

[arkallen]

Ann,
Up untill Dick added a comment I was thinking that this is the most un-commented-on thing I have ever written! On the other site not a sceric! Ah well, perhaps I was only speaking to myself, but it does help me to grasp the notion of a divinely supervised path. Its a silly thing, but even disabled and reliant on a power wheel chair I still feel invincible, like an 18 year old that can't be touched by fate. I'll have to deal with this I think!

I join you and Dick in wishing the Forum Folk a Happy and Holy Christmas!

 

[abbas child]

Roderick, There are weeks when the forum family is focused on various issues, but like you, I was very surprised with the quietness following this post. It's very profound. The important "work" isn't on the outside and tangible, but rather the interior, which is much harder to express in words. Serving one another rather than "looking good" can be hard won territory. I was, in my earlier life, one who had to have the perfectly tidy and clean house before welcoming visitors. I see clearly the foolishness of that now.

I no longer feel like an eighteen year old in the inside, Roderick. I felt that age until my forties, however. Nowdays I swing from about a five year old to an elderly person, based entirely on how I am trusting and focusing on Him. The ages are both absolutely fine. The path is entirely His, and as long as that is kept in the forefront of my thinking, all is well. Oh, I just remembered once again that Jim Eliott quote, which is something like: Until it's time to die, we are immortal. So, with that in mind, we are invincible.

Roderick, I am wishing you and your family a very Merry and Holy Christmas.

Ann

 

[Sequoia]

Roderick, thank you for your writings, they take us to places we never thought to go...isnt the exchange wonderful?
I found this little video and have watched ita dozen times. It brings tears of joy to my heart because when I take the time to go inside myself and reflect on this question: "Why does the thrill of flying have to come after the fear of falling?".....I open the wings of my heart and catch the Wind of the Spirit and there is not one place I cannot soar to....regardless of all the limitations of body and mind.
May Christmas be born anew in our hearts....<<<<SOAR>>>>

http://www.eaglesneedapush.com/

 

[Judith]

Roderick,

Sorry about not responding earlier. I don't usually travel far from the "Christians here for support" thread.

My interests, since ALS, have narrowed down to one simple goal: to draw nearer to the Lord. His presence and peace keep me afloat.

I picked up on this part of your post, which is where we come, when we are faced with an immovable mountain:

"From Adam, Henri Nouwen learned – gradually, painfully, shamefully – that the way up is down. The gospels repeat one saying of Jesus more than any other: “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Truly, the way up is down."

How very true this has been for me. And I must say, it is a glorious truth at that. The spiral downward in this body; the dying to self, is truly the way up and real life is found.

"Nothing is important but that which is eternal." - Amy Carmichael

Merry Christmas,
Judy

 

[pepsiman]

Roderick,

I didn't come to this peace suddenly. It took almost a year of caregiving for Liz, and after that 9+ months of reflection and another four or so more months of reflecting on that reflection. And it's still very much ongoing. I'm in a completely different place now though than I was most of my life. That which used to seem important has lost all value. I've come to realize that the only important things in life are human relationships. What we give to one another, how we live and love together. Everything else is useful only in the degree to which it nourishes those relationships. I don't find a divine authority necessary to reach this place, but to each his own. There is value in every path to peace.

Dick