codyclan
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2014
- Messages
- 402
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 02/2014
- Country
- US
- State
- VA
- City
- Round Hill
So at Thanksgiving, we had my hubby's (my PALS) family here for a big feast. Right before the meal, my brother-in-law was helping me prepare the stuffing and I stated that I really like the Thanksgiving dishes. He replied -- and I'm not kidding--"That's obvious. You have put on a lot of weight since PALS was diagnosed. It is very noticeable. Is it stress?"
I recoiled and said it was inappropriate to comment on a woman's weight no matter the circumstances, but he doubled down, "No really, is it stress? You were always slender and now you are so not." I left the room. When I returned I reiterated to him how inappropriate his comment was. His response was, "oh you know me, I just say stuff". He never apologized and my hubby caught the gist of what was going on from our second conversation and told him he needed to be respectful of me.
Earlier that day, my PALS was showing off the features of our new Amazon ECHO and how it could turn the lights on and off verbally, a real plus since hubby has very limited arm use. Same brother-in-law, rolled his eyes at me and said, while making the up/down motion, "cause flipping a switch is sooo hard". I whisper scolded him saying it was when you have trouble lifting your arms. He replied--oh yeah, okay.
Cut to today. He calls and tells PALS he and the family are coming into town next week and plan to stay with us for 2, 3 or 4 days. He hadn't decided how long they would stay yet. So okay, he would see us Monday. UGH!!!!!! He has not spoken to either of us since Thanksgiving. Suggestions on how to be civil to him for the visit? His two young kids are great and hubby adores them. Wife is tolerable. But him???????????
Oh and yeah, I haven't lost any weight yet.
Tracy
I recoiled and said it was inappropriate to comment on a woman's weight no matter the circumstances, but he doubled down, "No really, is it stress? You were always slender and now you are so not." I left the room. When I returned I reiterated to him how inappropriate his comment was. His response was, "oh you know me, I just say stuff". He never apologized and my hubby caught the gist of what was going on from our second conversation and told him he needed to be respectful of me.
Earlier that day, my PALS was showing off the features of our new Amazon ECHO and how it could turn the lights on and off verbally, a real plus since hubby has very limited arm use. Same brother-in-law, rolled his eyes at me and said, while making the up/down motion, "cause flipping a switch is sooo hard". I whisper scolded him saying it was when you have trouble lifting your arms. He replied--oh yeah, okay.
Cut to today. He calls and tells PALS he and the family are coming into town next week and plan to stay with us for 2, 3 or 4 days. He hadn't decided how long they would stay yet. So okay, he would see us Monday. UGH!!!!!! He has not spoken to either of us since Thanksgiving. Suggestions on how to be civil to him for the visit? His two young kids are great and hubby adores them. Wife is tolerable. But him???????????
Oh and yeah, I haven't lost any weight yet.
Tracy