Video message questions

[krnNdug]

I was offered a great gift yesterday. A friend offered to video a message to my wife. It would be done without her knowledge and shared upon my death (unless she goes first, but percentages don't favor that outcome). He asked me to get a list of questions for him to ask me. I am wondering what suggestions you all have as either PALS or CALS. I had already started a letter months ago and think I will read this, but this is an option for something beautiful for my bride.

I was thinking of going to places we have gone on dates, her 50th birthday party and the surprise one she didn't know about, where our kids had special moments (weddings), etc. I wish I could go where I proposed but that is on the side of Camelback Mountain so that won't happen. We actually went to the place where we had our 1st date last night. Sort of bittersweet since I am now in a wheelchair, but still very nice to reflect on how blessed we are with each other.

Thanks for your help as I am pretty lost on questions in particular.
Doug

 

[cheerleader]

Doug, what a beautiful idea. It will mean so much to her, to see you, hear your voice whenever she wants. The ideas you've stated are all wonderful. Don't think I need to tell you that the thing I would most like to hear from my husband is how much he loved me - and that he knew I did the best job of loving him, and caring for him that I could. You might also like to add some comic relief- some nagging reminders that will make her smile and feel your presence! I still hear my Joe's voice reminding me to fill the gas tank up so I don't run out, and now with all the slush, telling me to go to the car wash and get the salt washed off. Those reminders that were part of our daily life were what I miss the most!
You couldn't leave a nicer gift than this. Your friend must be a true winner! Donna

 

[Nikki J]

That is very lovely and I agree with Donna your ideas are great.
If it is not asking too much of your friend could you do a brief message to your children as well?

 

[krnNdug]

Don't you worry about the humor...I will probably remind her that she wouldn't get it now like she didn't get it then, hehe...I was planning on the kids and grandkiddos...my wife wants to record me reading their favorite stories that I have read to them over the years, at least while I have breath to do so...I know I will tell her how much I love her and what she means to me...I am so incredibly blessed to be married to her, she has endured so much with this and my nerve damage, this may be a breath of fresh air, to early?

 

[Barbie]

I would so love this if I was your wife! <3

 

[Gembead]

I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it, a beautiful thing to do. I think she would love to hear what you think are your most special times together .
Love Gem

 

[affected]

Doug, firstly this is a wonderful thing you are planning and I can't even begin to imagine what something like this would have meant to me. Because Chris lost his speech first, he really never could have done something like this. But I have tried to imagine what a gift like this would have meant to me if he could have and I just think that your friend has a heart of gold and this is going to be something truly wonderful.

What about if you made notes on what kinds of things you would like to say, give that to your friend in advance so your friend can read it and come up with leading questions to prompt you to answer these things? It sounds to me like you do know what you want to tell her, so maybe this would get it going?

 

[gooseberry]

I would tell her about the most special times for you in your life together. It may be a small thing like her smile looking at a flower or big like your wedding day. I find the special things for people to be so different and I think she would love to hear the things you valued and loved most about your time with her. Also, consider making a shutterfly book. You can include pictures from all those places you loved and visited together or just a book of pictures you loved of your wife. It would be a wonderful addition to your voice recordings.

 

[krnNdug]

I was thinking about some times and sayings that have meaning only to our family...things that happened on vacation or looking for a coffee shop (hey, its just on the next corner and keep looking for 45 minutes)...I am excited for it, I just fear my speech is going to go soon. The right side of my mouth is allowing a small amount of drool, so I need to do this soon...I like the idea of a shutterfly book also, great suggestion

Doug

 

[Nuts]

What an incredibly beautiful idea. The loss of my husband's voice is one of the things I fear the most--it is the most comforting sound in the world to me. Your family will treasure this gift forever. You have some wonderful ideas here. The only thing I can think to add is perhaps a message at the end about your wishes for them going forward.

 

[gooseberry]

Doug, I made books for each of my husbands brothers and my son a couple months ago. I was in a good frame of mind and knew I could do it then . They love the books. I got pics of them together from babies until just a few weeks before I completed them. I wasn't sure how they would be received but his brothers especially are very grateful to have the books. My son says its sad to look at but I am hopeful in time it willbe a good thing for him also.

 

[cheerleader]

Good for you, Gooseberry. A picture is worth a thousand words!

 

[nebrhahe53]

Ive recorded something similar for my wife on my IPad (as well as to my brothers and daughters). i mentioned the time I first saw her (with another guy) and how she caught my eye, out first dance, the first time I told her i loved her, our first date, how much she has meant to me over the years etc. (obviously not in that order). I told her where it is but not to listen to it till im gone.
These are some of the few things we can give back-it doesnt even come close to squaring the bill for what CALS have to go through, but its the best we can do.

 

[nebrhahe53]

My daughter made a music video showing our family from the time my wife and I got married through her pregnancy and through all the time she grew up for my birthday. Shes 18 now and it was beautiful. I have no idea how to do that.

 

[krnNdug]

More great suggestions...
I like the story of when we 1st met and the other suggestions...when she sat across from me at a dinner event and I found out she was older and she had 3 kids I automatically said NO in my mind...now I can see I was way wrong back then