NothingButLove
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2016
- Messages
- 106
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 11/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
- City
- Anaheim
It's been one month since my wife passed. I've had many strange emotions. However, for the last two weeks, it's pretty much been straight up depression. I can leave the house and go anywhere I want but I just don't feel like it. What I would really, really, really like is to talk to my wife... <crying>
I've been meaning to create a thread detailing the whole VSED experience. I just can't bring myself to do it yet. <intense crying> The whole processes messed me up. Hopefully it's not permanent.
I really wanted to be more involved with this forum before my wife passed. I just couldn't find the time. Now I have all the time in the world but I feel strange. It's almost like I fear this forum. It takes me back to a place I don't want to go. I want to help people with the experience I've gained but I can't bring myself to read the posts.
What I'm going through now reminds me of when this whole thing started. I can't go 5 minutes without thinking about my wife, ALS and VSED. Even the good memories make me feel bad. The happier the memory, the sadder I get.
I can confirm that holidays now suck. 4th of July without my wife was rough. I have this memory of my wife from last year's 4th. She was holding a sparkler and waving it around. She had the happiest childlike expression on her face. That memory made me super sad. Her being gone made me sad. The thought that she could have been there made me sad. The thought that even if she was there on the 4th, she couldn't have waved around a sparkler made me sad. So much sadness...
Going to an Los Angeles Angeles game with a friend on Tuesday. It will be good to get out...
Rob
I've been meaning to create a thread detailing the whole VSED experience. I just can't bring myself to do it yet. <intense crying> The whole processes messed me up. Hopefully it's not permanent.
I really wanted to be more involved with this forum before my wife passed. I just couldn't find the time. Now I have all the time in the world but I feel strange. It's almost like I fear this forum. It takes me back to a place I don't want to go. I want to help people with the experience I've gained but I can't bring myself to read the posts.
What I'm going through now reminds me of when this whole thing started. I can't go 5 minutes without thinking about my wife, ALS and VSED. Even the good memories make me feel bad. The happier the memory, the sadder I get.
I can confirm that holidays now suck. 4th of July without my wife was rough. I have this memory of my wife from last year's 4th. She was holding a sparkler and waving it around. She had the happiest childlike expression on her face. That memory made me super sad. Her being gone made me sad. The thought that she could have been there made me sad. The thought that even if she was there on the 4th, she couldn't have waved around a sparkler made me sad. So much sadness...
Going to an Los Angeles Angeles game with a friend on Tuesday. It will be good to get out...
Rob