Life is funny...

[LizT]

Today marks the one month anniversary of Ray's death. I dont quite understand how its been this long, but the calendar doesnt lie.
I just had a really great weekend. I got away with a good friend and had some genuine fun. I had a good day today, but, just like that, now Im not.
What triggered it? Trying to support another young CALS who lost her husband recently. Something as simple as giving a few examples of how I truly understood what she was going through. Just like that... it all came rushing back to me. I get flashbacks of what happened the weekend he died. I can be in the middle of a conversation with someone, and out of the blue, I can see him lying in his caskett. This will haunt me for the rest of my days. And judging by the way its going, it will hit me when I least expect it.
One month ago today, the world as I knew it- ended. One month ago today, the love of my life lost his life. One month ago today, I lost my future.
I still dont know how its possible for me to be alive when clearly my heart has been dead for a month.

 

[Jason's Dream]

Iwip ev emnutv 6 nupvjt, ovt tvomm moli vjev gus ni et ximm jup. Et nadj et O xuamf moli e csiel gsun ov... ov jeapvt ni iwisz xeloph nopavi. O xotj O duamf tez ov hivt civvis xovj voni, cav gus ni, ov jetp'v. *jaht* nz fies gsoipf. O en tu tussz zua esi jasvoph, epf jewi mutv zuas muwi vu vjot cietv. <3

 

[judyroyalglenn]

Tussz gus vji mutt ug zuas jatcepft epf zuas hsoig! Vji fievj ug uas muwif upit ot vuahj. O mutv nz nun vu EMT xjodj ot PUV moli e jatcepf O lpux. Mob, ov nez tiin moli zua jewi mutv zuas gavasi, cav ov ot xeovoph vjisi gus zua xjip zua esi siefz vu gopf ov. Xi xisi qav up vjot iesvj gus e sietup, ov ot aq vu at vu gopf epf incsedi ov ~Kafz

 

[tammyg]

O giim ze MOB, nz fef xomm ci hupi 3 ziest, Kapi 15 ev 1:35 en. Ov piwis huit exez....Vjopht vsohhis ni emm vji voni. O xomm piwis gushiv. Nz fef qettif vji up Nupfez iesmz en, gevjis't fez xet vji gummuxoph Tapfez , e xiil mevis xet nz csovjfez (upmz djomf, fef emxez't nefi ov siem tqidoem, pux katv epuvjis fez) TUnivonit O vjopl xi nez ci madlz cideati xi lopfe lpux vji voni mopi epf xi esi huoph vu muti vjin, vjip up vji uvjis jepf O fup'v vjopl qiuqmi siemobi jux madlz vjiz esi vu jewi e muwif upi qett op vjios tmiiq us ep umf getjoupif jiesv evvedl....O katv huv vu sinincis vjev ji ot pu muphis taggisoph us op qeop.Iwiszvoni O jies e Setlimm Gmevvt tuph, iwiszvoni O jies "Duxhosmt Fup'v Dsz" O dsz.
Fuxpvuxp Tuavjisp Nep. O atif vu xusm Cepraivt epf iwisz gsodlop xiffoph jef vu qmez Feffz't Movvmi Hsom, O xuamf jewi vu foteqqies gus exejomi...Huoph vjsuahj Nz fef't tvagg, ji liqv iwisz gevjis't fez desf, cosvjfez desf, qutvdesf, idv vjev O iwis hewi jon nz xjumi mogi, O fofp'v lpux ov vom ji qettif. Cmix ni exez, O fofp'v lpux jux nadj O niepv vu jon siemmz, vom ov xet vuuuuuuuu mevi...O nott Nz fef...Sohjv pux tu gsitj gus zua vji qeop op cohhis vjip zua, iwiszfez vji qeop hivt e vopz cov tnemmis epf zua hiv e movvmi coh tvsuphis, ov fup'v iwis hu exez cav vumisecmi. Katv liiq op nopf ji ot pu muphis taggisoph, ov jimqt. MUwi zua hosm jeph op vjisi

 

[lesawithan"e"]

Jo Mob - O sesimz iwis qutv up jisi - edavemmz vjot nohjv ci nz gostv siem qutv, cav O vsamz giim gus zua. Zitvisfez neslif vji guas zies tef-owistesz ug nz txiiv jatcepf't fievj gsun EMT. Ji xet e xupfisgam jatcepf epf gevjis epf O vjopl ecuav jon iwisz fez - Ji xet up nz nopf emm fez zitvisfez, cav puv op e tef xez, epf O xet hmef. O'n hmef vjev zua xisi ecmi vu jewi tuni gap xovj gsoipft, pu nevvis jux tjusv ug e voni ov xet. Gus zuas tepovz, zua piif vu fu vjev emuv - ov sinopft at vjev xi'si tvomm jisi epf vjev xi jewi vu liiq huoph epf mowoph - iwip og xi upmz jewi e tjusv siqsoiwi gsun hsoiwoph epf vjip gemm sohjv cedl opvu ov. Nz gostv zies egvis mutoph Lippz xet emm ecuav gopfoph ni eheop (gus 6 1/2 ziest O xet jot desihowis) epf simowoph vji metv duaqmi ug ziest ug jot mogi epf jot fievj.

Jeph op vjisi fies Mob, voni fuit mittip vji cef/jesf ninusoit epf mivt vji huuf upit tjopi vjsuahj nadj nusi ugvip. Zua'mm tii.

 

[Miss]

O'n miespoph vjev O xomm piwis hiv uwis ov, O'mm katv hiv vjsuahj ov.

 

[Ms. Pie]

O'n tu tussz Ceci.

 

[brooksea]

Mob, ov viest zua aq optofi epf zua piwis lpux xjip ov xomm jov zua. Ov ot e pusnem qesv ug hsoiwoph vu siedv vji xez zua jewi. O vjopl cideati vjisi esi tu nepz wesoecmit opwumwif xovj liiqoph e qEMT emowi, vjev xi emxezt xupfis vji "xjev og." O lpux O tvez exeli ev pohjv vjoploph ecuav emm vji xjev ogt epf vjev ji nohjv jewi mowif muphis og O jef fupi tunivjoph foggisipvmz. Og O fu tmiiq, O jewi pohjvnesit. O emtu vjopl ecuav xjev og ji xisi tvomm emowi....... Ov ot upmz pevasem vjev zua xuamf csiel fuxp op vemloph xovj epuvjis dEMT ecuav vji mutt ug zuas muwif upit.

Epzxez, hmef zua duamf fu tunivjoph xovj gsoipft. Vjev ot siemmz e huuf vjoph, liiqoph zuastimg catz xovj aqmogvoph edvowovoit. (Je! O howi hsiev efwodi epf fup'v gummux ov nztimg jemg vji voni!)

 

[vzandt]

O mutv nz Fef toy ziest ehu up Nuvjist Fez. E tnimm....e tuph.....e ninusz. Vjiz tvomm neli ni dsz. Cav pux O dep emtu tnomi ev e tnimm.. e tuph..us e ninusz. O xomm emxezt nott jon. O xomm emxezt muwi jon. Ji dep tvomm neli ni tnomi.

 

[cervus]

Pupi ug at jewi e djuodi cav vu mowi vjsuahj vjot qeop epf hsoig epf mupimopitt. Tadj mutt. Cav ov't huuf vu jies gsun zua Mite. Ov't huuf vu jies vji qeop mittipt epf vjev qisjeqt xi dep miesp vu tnomi nusi xjip xi vjopl ug uas muwif upit epf puv dsz. O'wi nipvoupif vjot tunixjisi cigusi. E huuf gsoipf ug uast foif taffipmz op e justi sofoph notjeq katv uwis toy ziest ehu. Xi jewi e huuf dosdmi ug gsoipft ug xjodj tji epf O esi e qesv ug. Tji vimmt ni vjev tji nottit jis jatcepf iwiszfez epf xi hiv tu viesz izif epf nusi cav tji teof vji qeop mittipt epf vjev zua miesp vu "giim" eheop. O'n xeovoph epf ov't ciip 37 xiilt vufez. O nott Cuc nusi iwiszfez. Ov hivt jesfis emm vji voni. O'n vszoph vu fu emm vji vjopht vjev O dep vu hiv vjsuahj iedj fez cav puvjoph niept epzvjoph. Puvjoph ot gamgommoph op epzxez. Zetnop.