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irismarie

Very helpful member
Joined
Nov 21, 2009
Messages
1,386
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
05/2010
Country
FR
State
tarn et garonne
City
valeilles
Some people complain about the open mouth problem. It takes just a little imagination to find ways to overcome this slight inconvenience.

1 Stand upside down. Gravity takes care of your jaw with no problem at all. If you find it difficult to turn yourself completely upside down, just turn your head upside down. There! No more jaw drop.

2 Tie a beautiful ribbon around your head and tie tightly under the chin in a fetching bow.

This can be used as an accessory to whatever hat is in season, being especially attractive with berets and sou’wester rain hats.

If you are a man and feel this is a little effeminate, simply add a false moustache, black for preference, for a virile effect.

The ribbon can also be tied on top of the head but this is more likely to make people confuse you with Shirley Temple

Men who wish to present a more business-like appearance can use a tie instead of a ribbon and make a proper slip tie knot under the chin to preserve the traditional look. Care must be taken when passing under low tree branches

3 Wear your glasses under your chin. They not only give support to that slack old chin, they give an unusual and excellent view of your belly button.

4 More difficult cases can easily be secured with a screw and bolt. A bolt of at least 15 inches is recommended. Measure the height of the head from chin to crown and add a good four inches at each end. Get a friend to pass the bolt through that troublesome chin and secure firmly with screw-on thingies (I’m only a girl) once the bolt protrudes from the top of the head.
Warning - This method has led to problems with eating afterwards.

5 For the young and with-it, there are always the ever fashionable piercings on hand to help. A piercing with ring (gold recommended for hygiene) at each side of the lower lip and through each eyebrow, and away we go. You can attach the lip to the eyebrows by silk and in the event of a boring evening you can always liven the scene by raising and lowering the eyebrows thus opening and closing the mouth, ensuring rousing hilarity all around you.

So do not despair, my friends. See how just a little imagination and effort can not only solve the problem of the open mouth but provide hours of innocent fun for all.
 
Irismarie...LOL! Your too much... still snorting...LOL!
 
Irismarie! What an imagination you have! You just crack me up! I am still giggling! God I wish you lived closer, you are such a kick in the pants girl! The world needs more people in it just like you!
Luv ya! Kari
 
Irismarie, I am headed to the hardware store tomorrow for a bolt and one of those "thingies" that goes on the end. I am thinking that I should get a galvanized bolt to avoid a rust "ring around the collar". I have been using a bungie cord and am looking for a more permanent solution so thanks. There is only one thing that I'm wondering about though, should I avoid open areas during thunderstorms so that my bolt doesn't serve as a lightning rod? Let me know what you think. :lol::lol:
 
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Yes, Barry, you are quite right in your assumption and it was remiss of me not to add that caveat.
YOu have reminded me to add another caution
It is NOT advised to ask your neighbour or friend to chew large amounts of chewing gum for you and attempt to stick the teeth together with that. It can work but is very bad for the teeth with all that sugar. The same goes for using cement mix or super glue. Just think of those dentist bills!
 
ROTFLMAO! too funny! I wonder if Web would allow me to tie a pretty ribbon around his head and take a photo?! It would have to be seagreen to match his gorgeous eyes! Hey, he is sleeping now....nah I couldn't...!
 
omg....only we could laugh about such stuff......any ideas iris marie how to keep from spitting my drinks out at everybody? and watch out if you dare make me laugh while i have something in my mouth.

i wonder what the lurkers and seekers on this site think of our comedy?
 
Hey Irismarie..do you think a big rubberband going from ear to ear, under the chin, would help? Or maybe a football strap under chin to the ears? Imean the ears are such good anchors. I'm sure we can come up with a way to make them work.
 
Cris, this is a suggestion of genius. The rubber band is a hghly dangerous weapon and as such is extremely useful to ALS sufferers. The Mark One Elasticated Mouth Closer can also be used to project false teeth, bones, pips and stones at people. who deserve it, ie just about anyone else who isn't us. Sold with a temporary support constructed entirely of used matchsticks (we are ecologically aware) to hold the chin in place while using the rubber band as a weapon. An alternative weapon is to be found here:-www.missilesRus.chin.chang for when you are REALLY pissed off big time.

Paleshia, Why would you want to STOP spitting your drinks all over people. Could be great fun!
But the team will work on it. "You find a problem, we find a solution" - in your case, probably all over the opposition's shirt front;-)

Love you all
 
Oh my, I am soooooooooooooo laughing at this thread.... I marie, you are just to good for words. i think I like the ribbon tied around my head and chin with a hat for the season.. Yes, i will dot hat when i can no longer keep my mouth shut...lol I am getting all colors of ribbon and poka dots too....LOL L
 
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