Well i feel very selfish making this post as you all seem to have so much love to give , but I am really struggling. My Mum has recently been diagnosed with ALS / bulbar onset and is shortly to move into a lovely nursing home very near to me and my elder sister. For the past 6 months we have been caring for her ourselves, watching her degenerate without diagnosis. We have had calls from her day and night , interrupting working patterns and family life but we have always rushed to attend to her.
She is the most wonderful Mum to me , as she started out as my godmother then adopted me when my parents died ( she and my late Dad were their best friends )
Anyway , about 7 weeks ago she was admitted to a rehab centre as she was unable to get herself out of bed , walk etc and my sister and I thought we might get a bit of respite from daily visits , only to find it is the opposite as Mum gets terribly upset if we don't visit every day.
Since her diaganosis last week I have realised that our input and support will only increase and , I am ashamed to say , I feel very angry that my children / partner are getting so little of my time after work and then visiting Mum. I am also feeling resentful that I don't have much time for me.
has anyone else felt like this , as I am horrified these feelings have surfaced when Mum is so vulnerable and I just want to be giving and loving without these awful feelings
Thanks for reading