Assisting PALS in publc toilets?

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Buckhorn

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Lost a loved one
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12/2015
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US
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Small town
Hi all. My husband is still able to go out with me for dinners/movies, etc. However, as we all know, not all places have "family" restrooms. My hubby needs help with his zipper and he also is too unsteady for me to leave him alone. When a separate "family restroom" is not available, I go into the men's room. I knock on the door first, then help my hubby with the door. This is a bit awkward, as men are sometimes in the process of using the open urinals (without the stall). I have had no one say anything to me. In fact, when they realize what is going on the men are usually very understanding and even helpful (holding the door when we exit, etc.).

So, for those of you who have "been there", in the absence of a family bathroom, am I right in choosing to take my PALS into the men's restroom? I can't wait for the day when all restrooms will be private rooms that are gender neutral.

TY for your anticipated responses.
 
Absolutely - you do what ya gotta do!
I think you will find that by far, most men wouldn't care that you are in the room.
 
The PALS men in my group use condom catheters when they go out, just in case. It's amazing how so few places are REALLY accessible. Even when they advertise it, they aren't accessible for power chairs or for toileting. Most motels that are "accessible" have dangerous showers.
 
My pals is female. When out and while still able to use a public toilet, we'd use the Ladies Restroom... and I've never had a problem. I'd call in, first, to make sure it was empty and then we'd go in. If it wasn't empty, I'd politely apologize and explain that "My wife is handicapped and needs help. We'll wait until you come out." Often I'd hear - "No worries. Come on in!" And I'd also get "if I can help, let me know." If your hubby was comfortable using the Ladies Room, it would probably be more comfortable for you.

Good to see that you're still going out and doing things!

Jim
 
Thanks for this question, Buckhorn. We're in this situation now, too, and I've wondered how others handle it. I've started bringing a urinal in a plastic zip bag to use in the van before going in somewhere, but if we're in the middle of something, we may not want to go back out to the van.
 
I take my husband into the women's room because of the urinals. He understands and is ok. I go in first, announce that I'm bringing my husband in in a wheelchair, and then if there is anyone in the room when we are done I make another announcement before we exit the stall. I've never had anyone object.
 
I vote for the women's room, whether the PALS is male or female or other. I wheeled Krissy into women's restrooms, and carried her to the toilet, wiped her, re-dressed her, and put her back into the wheelchair. Never heard any hint of objection.

The men's room is less private since the urinals are open. Also, frankly, I think men are more likely to fail to sympathize and more likely to object.
 
To avoid the need to return to the van for a urinal, you can carry a UriBag with you, Cindy.
 
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We use a combination of uridom e's and pee bottle, I keep a pee bottle inside the backpack I hang from his wheelchair, the uridome we use if travelling for hours in the car or going somewhere public for than 3 hours.
 
Hello all, I do not have the need yet but if or when I do I would have no problem with either one. I think my wife would be more comfortable in the ladies room though. We are lucky here in Ontario, you are now seeing more and more large gender neutral washrooms.
Al
 
I've always been bold when it comes to relieving myself. Women take longer in restrooms...it is evident by the lines. I've gone into men's restrooms when the ladies was full. When the time comes, I just hope I have someone to help me. I'll go in any restroom.
 
Thanks to all who have offered their thoughts. So far I have chose the men's room because: A) to help my husband retain what dignity he has remaining and, B). as Kim has noted the men's line is often much shorter or sometimes no one at all in line/in the room. I think we may soon be moving towards the women's room option and go in and announce my intentions first as people recommend. A month ago I could take my husband to the men's restroom door, help him with the door, and then just "stand by" right outside the door and listen for the flush, then peek in and see if he was o.k. He has declined to the point where I now consider it a safety issue for him to remain alone.
 
Falls are one of the worst things that can happen to our PALS. Thanks for looking out for his well-being BEFORE he has a serious fall.

Jim
 
What Jim says is so very true. I learned the hard way. I fell twice in a month and it accelerated progression AND pain. I'm so glad you are taking all the precautions for your guy.
 
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