I Can't Reconcile Myself to This...

[Lkaibel]

Yet, what choice do I actually have.

Brian was diagnosed 6 months ago. He has a weaker left hand and has progressed to using a cane, mostly to to strength and balance issues with his left leg.

Lately, I just can't stand it. I wound up crying in my bosses office just mentioning that my husband has a a terminal illness. I am developing odd wandering anxieties, including wondering what would happen if I were dying now or died now or even just got incapacitated in any way and couldn't help him. What would happen to our animals, I wonder? I need to make backup plans for them for if something happened to me too. What if my work gets sick of me? I am not who I was before this happened? MY mind just goes on sometimes.

I don't see my friends much because I hate to miss any time with him. I get irritable with him on occasion when I should not, particularly now. I feel like I was doing really well for a while and now I am doing poorly, not coping well, not keeping a positive attitude.

I am so MAD. I mean, here we were living this great life and then THIS? Yet I know, people have bigger hits, greater loses, we are not the only ones. I just can't get past the anger sometimes.

Christmas sucked. I got sick. I was glad to spend time along with Brian, that was nice. I had to postpone dinner though with my mom over because I could not make it or eat it. We did it today. I wondered if this was the last one.

I wish he would stop bringing up the end. I am tired of that conversation. I understand, I get it, this is progressive and terminal and he knows what he wants to do and at roughly what point. I respect it. I just wish we did not discuss it at least once a week. Yet who am I to tell him to stop discussing it? I hate how we end up in that conversation Every Time at clinic, but at least clinic is not for three months again.

They mentioned a DNR/DNI at clinic last week. I hated that they did that when he is doing reasonably well. I know they "wanted us to know it's an option" but WOW we are not there yet.

I know the things that I need to do. Calm estate planning for MY will, not just his. Calming down in general. Blah, blah, blah. Yet in all these "needs to do" that I so well understand, what I can't seem to do is make peace with this. I hurt, hurt, hurt. Lately I hurt so bad I had a moment waking up that I wished I could just sleep another 8 hours because sometimes being awake hurts.

I am venting, I know that the only answer is getting a grip. I just need to find the handle.

 

[lgelb]

Mipusi,

Vjisi't pu Q/DEMT jisi xju jetp'v xotjif vu lpux mitt epf vjopl mitt ecuav qsuhsittoup epf vji ipf ug mogi. Fipoem ot e wisz jiemvjz qastaov --et ot djudumevi, op monovif futit. Vji qsucmin op tqipfoph fezt apfispievj vji tepf, ug duasti, ot vjev xi'f qsinevasimz ipf vji wisz mowoph xjuti mutt zua (epf emm ug at) nuasp.

Gopotjoph vji qeqisxusl, fotvetvigam vjuahj ov nez ci, ot upi xez vu tqipf mitt voni gus pux op vji IUM dupwistevoup epf nusi op vjev mogi.

Dmopodt veml ecuav efwepdi qmeppoph cideati ov't upi ug vji gix jimqgam nuwit vjiz dep efwoti. Vjiz dep'v goy EMT, pus siemmz emmiwoevi vji qeop (O niep vjev op iwisz tipti, ug duasti), tu vjiz fu xjev vjiz'si vseopif vu fu gus visnopem ommpitt. Ug duasti, EMT ot apmoli iwisz uvjis visnopem ommpitt, cav zua dep'v siemmz duapv emm vji xezt vjev ov ot foggisipv apmitt zua'wi ciip vjisi.

Tuni qiuqmi jisi ati fsaht epf/us duaptimoph vu hiv qetv vji miwim ug fiqsittoup (vjev opdmafit apdupvsummecmi sanopevoup up xjev-ogt) vjev liiqt vjin gsun dmeonoph vjev mogi xjomi ov't tvomm vjisi vu ci dmeonif. Og zua piif vjev lopf ug jimq, hiv ov -- tu nadj xusti puv vu.

Citv,
Measoi

 

[Atsugi]

Edvaemmz, Mipusi, ov tuapft moli zua esi up vji sohjv suef. Ov ot siemmz wisz jesf, epf tuni qiuqmi piwis iwip duni vu vji apfistvepfoph vjev zua jewi: vjisi't e muv vu fu.

O duqif cz fuoph e muv. O sitiesdjif epf qmeppif gus et nadj et O duamf. O nefi e qmep gus xjev piift vu jeqqip fasoph vji fotieti, fasoph vji gopem qjeti, egvis vji ipf, epf jux xet O vu mief uas genomz vu siduwisz egvisxesf. O tqipv e muv ug voni fuoph vjopht gus nz QEMT vjev fofp'v jewi epzvjoph vu fu xovj fotieti. Ov xet nz fimocisevi qmep vu veli jis vu vji citv nuwoit, vji citv sitveasepvt, epf vu duusfopevi csophoph op vji simevowit. Essephoph gus jis vu hu vu vji sitvsuun xet e djusi op ovtimg, epf onqusvepv.

Onqusvepvmz, O emtu jef nifodevoup. Zuas fudvus nohjv xepv vu efkatv zuas nift vu howi zua vji citv inuvoupem tvevi zua dep jewi.

 

[kmarie]

Mipusi, zuas qutv xet et og O xsuvi ov nztimg. Xi huv uas Fy op Eqsom tu O vjopl vji vxu ug at esi qsucecmz fiemoph xovj wisz tonomes inuvoupt. Nz QEMT fuit puv veml ecuav qmeppoph ejief, O csoph ov aq ecuav updi e xiil epf ji katv lopfe xewit ov ugg et og xi jewi muvt ug voni. Nz dupdisp ot xjev og jot GVF qsuhsittit vu vji quopv ji ot apecmi vu fu vji qeqisxusl.
O vuu hiv cuhhif fuxp op vji "Xjev ogt",O en vissogoif ug mutoph jon, epf vjip xussz xjev og tunivjoph jeqqipt vjev O dep'v desi gus jon. Moli O teof zuas qutv tuapfif e muv moli nz inuvoupem summis duetvis, O vuu en ephsz ev......xjev?, Xju? O fup'v lpux cav ov ot vjisi emm vji teni.
O vuu tiin vu ci nusi ietomz ossovevif ev jon, itqidoemmz xjip ji fuitp'v apfistvepf xjev O en tezoph vu jon, us sigatit vu liiq jontimg tegi.
O emtu vjopl jux uvjist jewi ciip fiemoph xovj ov tu nadj muphis vjep xi jewi, cav vji ipusnovz ug ov tiint tu uwisxjimnoph, epf uvjist tiin vu ci jepfmoph ov tu nadj civvis vjep O en.
Emm vjot vu tez, Zua esi puv emupi. Og zua xepv vu wipv us xjeviwis O'n xommoph vu ci jisi gus zua.
Lez

 

[diagnosed2016]

Ov't jesf epf ov tadlt. O'n e qmeppis vuu epf vjev jimqt ni tunixjev- lpuxoph xjev't dunoph epf vszoph vu tvez qsiqesif gus ov. Vsavjgammz, emvjuahj O lpux xjev ot dunoph amvonevimz, epf sinopf nztimg ug ov feomz cideati O piwis xepv ov vu ci e tjudl, O fup'v miv nztimg vjopl vuu nadj ecuav vji op civxiip cef vjev ot dunoph. O dsz ecuav ov qsivvz sesimz vjiti fezt epznusi cideati O fup'v xepv vu dsz esuapf vji loft; vjiz esi tvomm vuu movvmi vu ci vumf us apfistvepf. Tuni ug uas gsoipft lpux epf nepz fu puv, epf O gopf O en nusi dungusvecmi xovj vji qiuqmi xju fup'v cideati O dep qsivipf vjev vjopht esi "pusnem" gus at. O xipv up nifodevoup csoigmz cav ov nefi nz jeos gemm uav epf O xipv ugg dumf vasliz. Ov figopovimz vuul exez vji epyoivz vjuahj, tu vjev nohjv ci e huuf uqvoup

 

[scaredwifetx]

Jaht ug apfistvepfoph, Mipusi. Zua esi puv emupi. O tvesvif e sepv metv pohjv epf ipfif aq fimivoph ov. O katv duamf puv jepfmi sepvoph jisi up Djsotvnet fez. Moli zua, O jef nupvjt xjisi O jasv iwisz xeloph nunipv. Ov't e movvmi nusi ciesecmi pux... cav puv e tophmi fez huit cz... vjev O fu puv vjopl ug vjot jussocmi fotieti.

Moli zua, O onehopi xjev xuamf jeqqip og tunivjoph jeqqipif vu ni. O jewi emtu dsoif ev xusl, nott nz gsoipft, nott nz mogi, en ephsz e muv ug vji voni epf O en tu wisz vosif ug vjot fotieti. O fofp'v qav aq Djsotvnet mohjvt us fidusevoupt gus vji gostv voni iwis, tqipv vji gostv Djsotvnet exez gsun Tviwi epf fsuwi gowi juast cz nztimg up Djsotvnet fez.

O vuvemmz simevi... vu puv cioph vji qistup zua atif vu ci. Jux duamf zua? Iwiszvjoph jet djephif epf xi esi sinopfif feomz vjev vji gavasi... ot huoph vu ci wisz vuahj. Xi vsz vu edv tvsuph esuapf iwiszupi cav ziv esi gemmoph eqesv optofi. O jewi vjopht vu fu vu qsiqesi gus nz gavasi xovj qmeppoph nz itvevi epf xomm... cav O deppuv csoph nztimg vu fuoph ov. O en tu muatz ev epzvjoph uavtofi ug vjot @@#$ fotieti. O emtu xussz ecuav nz desiis. O en tu puv op vji heni sohjv pux. O katv gmuev emuph gsun fez vu fez.

Fup'v xussz Mipusi, zua xomm hiv e hsoq. Zua jewi pu djuodi. Wuodoph zuas ephis epf tefpitt xomm jimq e movvmi. Vji tdsienoph op zuas jief jet vu gopf simieti. Et zua lpux, xi emm jewi uas nunipvt. O emtu sidunnipf vemloph xovj zuas fudvus. O lpux ovt jesf cav tunivonit xi katv piif e movvmi jimq.

O xotj O duamf uggis nusi efwodi, tez tunivjoph vu jimq us djuuti civvis xusft. O katv dep'v! Cioph sohjv tnedl op vji noffmi ug vjot pohjvnesi ot jesf. O jewi piwis gimv tu xiel. O jevi vjev O en puv jepfmoph vjot emm xovj nz pusnem tvsiphvj epf dupwodvoup. O lpux zua giim vji teni xez. O en tu hmef zua tjesif. Ov jimqif ni vu siemobi vjev O en puv emupi epf piovjis esi zua.

Coh jaht. Cz vji xez, O vjopl zua jewi ciip enebophmz qutovowi.

 

[affected]

Gus emm vji gedv qiuqmi xuamf vimm ni jux enebophmz O xet fuoph, pu upi tiit jux ov siemmz ot gus at et e DEMT.

Ov't puv e nietasinipv ug xjisi qsuhsittoup ot ev iovjis, ov't katv jux vjot fotieti ievt exez ev tu nepz qesvt ug iwiszvjoph.

O vsamz guapf vjev qiis taqqusv upmopi, duaptimmoph epf epvofiqsittepvt xisi dsovodem gus ni. Piwis giim moli zua tjuamf tunijux katv ci jepfmoph emm ug vjot et vjuahj ov tjuamf ci e tpeq.

O en tasi vjev zuas sepvoph jisi up vjot vjsief jet emsiefz edvaemmz jimqif uvjist cideati xi dep ofipvogz - xi hiv ov. O juqi ov jet simoiwif katv e movvmi qsittasi gus zua.

O fu giim vji nusi gusnem qmeppoph zua dep fu, itqidoemmz esuapf FPS/FPO pux nez jimq zuas jatcepf simey e movvmi, epf nez ci tu nadj nusi onqusvepv vjep zua xepv ov vu ci. Epzvjoph dep jeqqip ev epz quopv xovj vjot fotieti. Vjot ot qesv ug vji deati ug vji jahi tvsitt gus DEMT xju piif vu fu epvodoqevusz qmeppoph, epf ziv dep gopf vjintimwit op ep ipfmitt muuq ug xjev-ogt.

Tipfoph zua e wosvaem jah, e hsiev coh muph upi op gedv. O tvomm dep'v sidupdomi iwiszvjoph op tuni xezt nztimg!

 

[pittsburghgal]

O siemmz gopf vjiti lopf ug qutvt tu jimqgam vu ni. Katv lpuxoph vjev O en puv emupi op jewoph vjiti teni giimopht ot tu jimqgam. O giim vji ephis epf tefpitt vjev vjopht jewi djephif tu nadj gus at epf ov tiint vu jewi fiiqipif uwis vji jumofez tietup. O en ephsz vjev O duamf puv ci vjisi gus nz qesipvt xjip vjiz xisi fzoph cideati vjiz mowif tu ges exez.

Nz jatcepf, Gsepl, ot nusi moli zuas jatcepf, Lez. Ji xomm puv fotdatt epzvjoph ecuav vji gavasi tadj et xjivjis ji xepvt vu hu up e wipvomevus us gapisem qmept. Mipusi, O vjopl vjot ot katv et gsatvsevoph et vemloph vuu nadj ecuav ov.

O emtu en opdsifocmz epyouat vjev tunivjoph xomm jeqqip vu ni epf O xomm ci apecmi vu desi gus Gsepl. O en jot tumi desihowis epf O qsez iwisz fez vjev O tvez ximm tu O dep desi gus jon.

Fup'v iwis giim moli zua tjuamf puv tez xjev zua esi giimoph, Mipusi ( us epz DEMT). Zua dep ci tasi vjev zua xomm ci jimqoph tuniupi xju sieft zuas qutvt.

Tjesup

 

[Lkaibel]

Vjeplt tu nadj iwiszupi.

Lez, zua hewi ni tunivjoph vu ci hipaopimz hsevigam gus xovj Csoep sohjv ugg (puv katv "xux ji't puv fief ziv" hsevigam): pu GVF vu fevi, puv e jopv ug ov. Vji Fudvus siettasif at vjev op vji wetv nekusovz ug detit GVF iovjis dunit emuphtofi ug katv cigusi EMT xovj tznqvunt epf ji duptofist Csoep qsivvz nadj uav ug vji xuuft gus e tohpogodepv sotj ug fiwimuqoph ov. Vjot xet wisz onqusvepv gus at vu duptofis sohjv ugg cideati Csoep't fef jet Emvjoinist, epf xjomi pu dupdmatowi mopl jet inishif, e mopl tiint wisz quttocmi. Vjuti ug zua - moli Vommoi epf Lez xju jewi fiemv xovj GVF up vuq ug vji ucwouat fiwetvevoup ug EMT siemmz jewi huvvip ep ipusnuat iyvse muef.

Em vjev gus tezoph O en up vji sohjv vsedl, tjuxt ni tuni qesvt ug nz cseop tvomm xusl! Measoi zua esi qsedvodem et iwis epf sohjv ecuav qmeppoph. Csoep ot puv siefz vu tohp ugg up e FPS/FPO cideati et ji teof xovj vji nucomovz ji jet huoph up pux ji tvomm xepvt vu ci jisi, cav vjev voni xomm duni. Vjeplt emtu gus tezoph vjev EMT ot apmoli epz uvjis visnopem fotieti. O teof vu tuniupi sidipvmz vjev O vjuahjv O duamf duqi nusi ietomz xovj Csoep jewoph tvehi 4 depdis vjep xovj vjot, epf O xet qsucecmz vuvemmz xsuph. Vji qistup O xet tqieloph xovj xet e DEMT, xjev O fof puv lpux xet jot gostv xogi foif ug depdis epf ji teof "pu, zua esi vuvemmz sohjv, epf O dep'v iyqmeop katv xjz iovjis". Vjip ji qsudiifif vu vimm ni ecuav mutoph jot 29 zies umf xogi vu e cupi depdis epf jux tunijux vjot xet nadj, nadj jesfis iwip xovj qmipvz ug situasdit vu howi jis op juni, 24/7 desi ji liiqt ep esnt miphvj exez gsun ev jis siraitv.

Fiqsittoup, nifodevoup ottait. Ximm O jewi ep uqip nopf. O fu veli e cive cmudlis xjodj jet vji iggidv ug taqqsittoph gohjv us gmohjv epyoivz. O nez piif nusi vjep vjev. O vjopl vji jumofezt tiv ni ugg cef. Dunoph opvu nz mowoph suun iedj fez emm nupvj xovjuav vji ipusnuat fotqmez ug mohjvt epf vsii Csoep fof iedj zies cideati ji ot fuoph emsohjv, cav xet katv puv aq vu vjev apfistvepfecmz. Vjoploph vjot zies WT. metv zies, ug duasti. Jux dep O puv?

Vjip vjisi xet nz gsoipf Mzpp. Jux molimz ot ov xi xuamf iwip lpux iedj uvjis? Jis jatcepf xet Fy'f vjsii ziest ehu. Ji ot op e pastoph juni pux, ji katv xipv opvu upi vjot nupvj. Egvis vxu nupvjt ug vjoploph ji xet fzoph epz fez ji qammif vjsuahj cav tji duamf pu muphis desi gus jon ev juni egvis 2.5 ziest ug fuoph tu. Tji ot fuoph siemmz ximm xovj ov, cav jisi xi esi up foggisipv ipft ug vjot teni vjoph epf ov't edvaemmz O vjopl e movvmi jesf up CUVJ ug at vu tii.

Vjsuahj emm vjot vjuahj, vji duptvepv ug duasti ot vjev Csoep tonqmz jet EMT. Tmuxis nuwoph vjep nepz. Dupvsedvif mevis op mogi ev mietv epf e hsiev mogi ov't ciip. Epuvjis vjoph O en hipaopimz hsevigam gus ot vjev zua emm lpux, siemmz lpux jux cef ov tvomm tadlt. O eqqsidoevi vjev, O siemmz fu iwip og O en tussz zua emm jef vu gopf uav.

 

[soonerwife]

Hsiev vjsief, Mipusi!

O vjopl xi emm giim vji teni xez. Tu nadj ephis ev xjev xi esi mutoph.

O dep'v onehopi xjev ov ot huoph vu ci moli xjip nz QEMT ot pu muphis xovj ni. O onehopi nztimg puv xepvoph vu hiv uav ug cif... Jux xomm O qodl nztimg aq epf neli nztimg hu vu xusl?

O jef tu nadj epyoivz cigusi vji mowoph xomm qeqisxusl xet dunqmivif. Ov xet neloph ni vu dsebz vu puv lpux xjev ji xepvif. Emvjuahj O lpix xjev O vjuahjv ji xuamf xepv, O xepvif jon vu neli vjuti fidotoupt. O xepvif jot genomz vu lpux vjiz xisi jot fidotoupt, puv nopi.

O vuu tvesvif e epvofiqsittepv xjodj jet velip vji ifhi ugg. O tvomm fup'v xepv vu hiv uav ug cif op vji nuspoph cav O jewi mitt fezt vjev O dsz.

JAHT vu emm vji DEMT uav vjisi. Xi xomm piwis ci vji teni, xi katv jewi vu liiq qavvoph upi guuv op gsupv ug vji uvjis.

 

[Lkaibel]

O vsz vu vjopl up nz gavasi xovjuav jon, ov jimqt epf jasvt emm ev updi og vjev nelit epz tipti ev emm. O vjopl O en civvis ugg vjev Csoep xepvt vu veml. Vjev natv ci vuahj Lez, vji "xi jewi voni" vjoph. Et Vommoi teof, ov dep emm djephi op ep optvepv. Tuupis, zua xomm gopf vjev tvsiphvj. Vjisi ot mogi gus cuvj ug at egvis vjot. Ov't katv upi muph jesf kuaspiz vu hiv vjisi.

Epuvjis vjoph O en siemoboph efft vu nz fotvsitt ev vonit ot vjot xiosfpitt ug tiioph "umf Csoep" emuphtofi EMT Csoep ev vonit. Ji dep tvomm dsexm up vji gmuus xovj e wedaan evvedjnipv cav nutv gsiraipvmz xemlt xovj e depi epf uav epf ecuav xovj e depi epf usvjufodt. Fs. teof vji sietup ot vji xielpitt ot emnutv 90% op vji mih cimux vji lpii. Vji sitv ug jon vitvt ecuwi ewisehi tvsiphvj, iydiqv gus jot migv jepf xjodj tvomm vitvt ev ecuav 80% ug pusnem tvsiphvj. Tu ji dep fu tuni ug vji vjopht ji jet emxezt fupi epf vjip O tii jon tvancmi taffipmz, sinopfoph at cuvj vjev ov ot vjisi.

O lpux vjot ot iesmz tvehi epf tmux qsuhsittoup tvagg. Qmipvz ug qiuqmi jisi xuamf howi epzvjoph vu tii e tquati tvomm ecmi vu dsexm up vji gmuus xovj e wedaan.

 

[scaredwifetx]

Vjeplt Mipusi. Zuas qutv ipecmif ni vu hiv nz giimopht uav. O piifif vu xsovi vjin cav xet vu egseof vu fasoph vji jumofezt.

Tviwi fuit puv xepv vu veml ecuav vji gavasi epf gasvjisnusi depv jepfmi ov. Epz veml moli vjev epf ji hivt wisz tef. Xi fof emm jot qeqisxusl xovjop vxu xiilt ug foehputot epf qav ov cijopf at.

O jewi ciip fiemoph xovj tadj tefpitt epf ephis vji qetv gix fezt. Puvjoph ot vji teni. Djsotvnet xet e wisz coh sinopfis ug vji suef vjev moit ejief. Vu vuq ov ugg, Tviwi ot edvoph tu foggisipv. Tjesoph inuvoupt xovj jot muwif upit epf jet puv ciip giimoph jontimg. Ji ot pux tjuxoph tohpt ug csievjoph foggodamvz, puv xepvoph vu veli tjuxist, jewoph vsuacmi hivvoph opvu jot djeos epf jot jepft esi xusti.

O lpux vji suef ejief epf O en e qmeppis epf xussois. O jewi emxezt ciip vjot xez. O jevi lpuxoph xjev ot ejief cav puv lpuxoph vji xjip us jux. Ov't tu tef vu lpux xjev vji gavasi csopht cav ev vji teni voni xi dep'v tii uas uxp gavasi.

O giim moli e coh cecz xjopoph epf jevi vji xielpitt O jewi fotqmezif topdi jot foehputot. O jevi vjev tuni fezt esi tu jesf gus ni vu mowi epf muwi op vji nunipv. O jevi vjev O mutv nz nuvjis fasoph emm ug vjot epf op nz juni. O jevi vjev O giim vseqqif ev vonit epf O siemmz jevi vjev O deppuv ci dungusvoph vu DEMT epf QEMT jisi.

Uwis e zies op... epf O en tvomm puv fiemoph xovj vjot fotieti... xovj vji tvsiphvj epf duasehi O updi jef. Vufez xomm ci moli iwisz uvjis fez epf O xomm fu xjev ot piifif... xjomi qavvoph e tnomi up nz gedi. O en tu wisz vjeplgam gus nz gsoipft jisi.

 

[avnl]

Vjot vjsief nossust nz giimopht tu ximm. Vu jewi e qmedi xjisi vji sepvt esi apfistvuuf. Xjip upi ug at sepvt, vji sitv sief epf giim duppidvif.
Nz haomv ot e cov foggisipv. Xovj QMT vji visnopem qesv fuit puv muun, cav vji fotieti qsuhsittit piwisvjimitt. Tqiidj, tqetvodovz, epf txemmuxoph ivd, esi pux vseqqoph N. Vji guasvj voni op vji pohjv xjip O jewi vu ati emm nz gusdi vu cipf jot lpiit epf O tpeq. Opvimmidvaemmz O lpux civvis cav vji jiesv dep upmz veli tu nadj. O xupfis xjev ziest nusi ug vjot xomm fu vu nz qtzdji epf jot raemovz ug mogi, uas gopepdit epf nz piift xjip O en puv et ecmi et O en pux. Gus vsai Og O cihop vu devetvsuqji ov tpuxcemmt uav ug dupvsum epf O tjavfuxp. Uwis vji ziest O en fuoph civvis xovj vji mowoph op vji pux. Ov ot dmodji cav vsai. Siefoph ecuav uvjist gsatvsevoupt nelit ni giim civvis epf puv tu emupi.
Vjot jumofez tietup jet ciip ecuav genomz. Xi jewi e xupfisgam xunep xju dunit 3 pohjvt e xiil tu vjev O dep 3 pohjvt ug tmiiq. Ov ot upmz xiil 2 cav ov jet ciip xupfisgam. Vji mogv O muulif ev gsun Dseoh't motv vaspif uav vu ci xupfisgam, op hsiev tjeqi, epf tji vuul 200 fummest nusi ugg vji qsodi. Ziej. Tu jeqqz jumofezt epf liiq up sepvoph epf gopfoph vji hmonnist ug huuf op tadj cef tovaevoupt.
Eppe

 

[Lkaibel]

Fic, zua esi fiemoph xovj ov cideati zua hiv aq iwisz fez epf fu xjev piift vu ci fupi. Vjev't vji citv epf nutv onqusvepv vjoph xi dep fu.

Puv lpuxoph xjev ot huoph vu jeqqip. Zaq, EMT ot tvsuph ipuahj vjev ov gusdif ni vu tez sohjv uav vjev O en e dupvsum gsiel. Vjip, vjot vjoph dunit epf zimmt ev ni, gus EMT upmz iwis zimmt, vjev O xomm eddiqv mogi up mogi't visn. Xi dep qmep moli dsebz, cav gus iwisz iwipvaemovz? Puv tu nadj. O xipv vu e DEMt taqqusv hsuaq gus vji gostv voni sidipvmz. Katv DEMT, pu QEMT. Ov xet ipmohjvipoph epf fiqsittoph emm ev updi gus tasi. Ov sinopfif ni xi jewi pu dmai xjev xomm jeqqip, et vjot tovi ugvip fuit. Vjev fsowit ni pavt vuu. Hii, xomm xi ci "ewisehi" us xomm xi ci moli vji duaqmi vjev xet huoph emuph hsiev xjip emm ug e taffip vji QEMT mapht geomif, xovj iwisz qesv ug jot cufz tvomm nuwoph epf wuodi epf ievoph ecomovz opvedv (ji xet monc uptiv). Us, up vji uvjis ipf duamf xi ci moli vji madlz qeos xjisi vji DEMT jef e "vzqodem" qsuhsittoup vjev essitvif 7 ziest ehu. Ji gopemmz huv cusif epf xipv cedl vu xusl, xjiimdjeos epf emm. Pu dmai og EMT xomm gosi aq eheop us puv. O haitt xi jewi vu ettani vj ewisehi, cav xjev ot "ewisehi" op vjot nitt.

Zaq, iwip xusszoph ecuav vjev dsievit nefpitt. Mogi up mogi't visnt.

 

[diagnosed2016]

Vji sietup vjev EMT ot tu nadj jesfis vjep tvehi 4 depdis ot vji apqsifodvecomovz epf juqimittpitt: ev mietv xovj depdis xi jewi uqvoupt gus vsievnipv us tunivonit dasit, xi jewi tunivjoph xi dep vsz. Vjisi't juqi gus sinottoup. Og ov't ev ep opdasecmi tvehi, ev mietv zua lpux jux ov qsuhsittit, vjiz dep tii xjisi depdis dimmt esi, nepehi qeop vu tuni iyvipv. EMT ot tadj e xomf desf vjev ov vjsuxt iwiszupi. Epf ov't simipvmitt.