JennyC
Distinguished member
- Joined
- May 3, 2016
- Messages
- 232
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 04/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- NY
- City
- Queensbury
It's almost Christmas, I went down to moms as I usually do and once I got her fed and set with her eye gaze machine , I went into her room and got started wrapping the presents that she bought for people.
It took me so long and there were many tears, watching my hands as I wrapped what would be her last Christmas present to everyone, crying and missing my Gram as I curled the ribbons, something I thought she was magical for being able to do lol and she of course showed me how when I was little. Thinking of my cousins and how hard it must be losing their dad, my Uncle, last week, just before Christmas.
People keep telling me 2017 is going to be better...and I want to smack them...no it won't, my mom is going to die in 2017, I will bury my mother and all of this firsts I'm doing now without my Gram I will be doing again but without my mom.
Its one of those nights where the pain is just so sharp and so deep and I feel like I can't breathe.
This Christmas is the first without my Gram, the first without Uncle Joe and the last with my mother. I got the tree up and the house decorated for my daughter but it was so hard...
Ugh, now I sound like a whiny *****....
It took me so long and there were many tears, watching my hands as I wrapped what would be her last Christmas present to everyone, crying and missing my Gram as I curled the ribbons, something I thought she was magical for being able to do lol and she of course showed me how when I was little. Thinking of my cousins and how hard it must be losing their dad, my Uncle, last week, just before Christmas.
People keep telling me 2017 is going to be better...and I want to smack them...no it won't, my mom is going to die in 2017, I will bury my mother and all of this firsts I'm doing now without my Gram I will be doing again but without my mom.
Its one of those nights where the pain is just so sharp and so deep and I feel like I can't breathe.
This Christmas is the first without my Gram, the first without Uncle Joe and the last with my mother. I got the tree up and the house decorated for my daughter but it was so hard...
Ugh, now I sound like a whiny *****....