I'm honored CJ.
I had typed up a nice long reply but I hit the back space and lost it all.... I'll try to recreate it, 'cause you guys are my friends.
I think we're doing pretty well.
Joanne is home for the summer. Back to UD for her Sophomore year this fall. I think last year was an eye opener for her. She really grew up in ways that I didn't expect. She came back from university with a new found respect for me. I'm not too sure what caused it, but it's obvious she spent some time analyzing the last few years. She actually asks for my opinion on things now. You'd have to know her, and to have known her mother, to realize what a surprise that is to me.
Julie is currently in Tucson, AZ awaiting the start of fall classes at UofA. She has become an amazing young woman (a little neurotic perhaps, but she was like that long before her mother got sick LOL). At my urging, she has taken control of her own life. Maybe it's part of the legacy Liz and I pushed from the start or maybe it's a result of me not being in a position to manage it for her last year. Either way, I think it's for the best and Liz would be proud. I know I am.
Louis has grown in physical stature and in confidence. He has rowed on the crew team for the last three seasons. Loves the discipline and has made a number of very close friends. He's a bit of a slacker on the scholastic front, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there (and I'm not talking about his mother). Still, he pulled a B average for the year so I can't complain too much. Liz wouldn't be impressed though. He has recently acquired a cute, blonde, girlfriend and his brain seems to have left his body. Typical teenage male. Still, I think he has a good head on his shoulders. He has proven to be a responsible, compassionate and ethical person.
My baby, Jerry, is something of an enigma to me. At 12 years old I can't quite figure him out. He's a bit of an outsider in the social sense, but that's not really surprising. I was a loner and very unsociable at that age too. I think it's mostly just a pre-teen thing. He seems a bit more comfortable in his skin now than he was just a few months ago. He loves school and does very well in all of his classes. Liz would be proud of him. I think these next two years in the middle school might be a bit more of a challenge for him, but he's got what it takes as long as he maintains focus.
They all seem to have a maturity level you really don't see in kids of their age. Not a surprise I'm sure, but it could have easily gone either way. Some kids never get over the loss of a parent. I hope I've been the kind of father that has enabled them get to where they need to be emotionally. Never really know for sure though, until they're all grown up.
And now for me:
A few false steps for me. A bit of backsliding too over the last 20 months. Maybe just a bit too much Scotch on occasion. I can say though, since last Mother's Day, I'm in a better place. That was the worst grief day I have ever experienced. Since then things have gotten better and better.
I met someone over the Fourth of July weekend. A widow (not of ALS) with three teenage kids of her own. Enough similarities in our situations that we can relate, enough differences to negate any real comparison. It's too soon it know if it'll last over the long haul but things are pretty damn good right now. The kids all get along and seem to approve too, so at least that's one hurdle we don't have to overcome.
And there you have it. Life as it now exists for us.
I wish all of my caregiver friends the peace and tranquility necessary for the challenges of every day and all of my PALS the comfort and love they deserve. There's nothing easy about being on either side of this damn disease and every one of you has to be a hero every single day.
Dick
