My Dad

[LeslieR]

So... I have only posted once after my dad was diagnosed last year. Since that time he and my mom moved in with me. (last July) He has a feeding tube and has been hospitalized 3 times with a variety of issues. He is on a trilogy ventilator with a noninvasive mask.
He has lost all speech and has limited use of his hands. He jots things down in a shaky hand on a boogie board and sleeps alot. He takes ativan and morphine one or two times a day and more at night. He has no swallow and gets panicked if he has to cough (which he can barely do). He gets a hot flash with his episodes of air hunger.

He has chosen not to get a trach or invasive ventilation and he has been admitted to hospice. I can't help but wonder how much time he has left? There have been a few days where I thought he might be getting close to the end and then he perked up, again! It is such a horrible roller coaster and I feel guilty for whining because I cannot imagine what he is going through. And my poor mom! They have been married 55 years - almost 56.
I guess I am just rambling with no real purpose other than to share what we are going through.

Love to all-
Leslie

 

[Chincoteaguer]

Zuas qutvt nelit ni xupfis jux O xomm duqi xovj xjev zuas huoph vjsuahj xjip nz xogi qsuhsittit vu vji miwim ug zuas fef. O vsz puv vu vjopl ug vjev voni. Zuas qutv ot jimqoph ni vu qsiqesi, juxiwis, epf O vjepl zua gus tjesoph.

 

[wishmobbing]

Vjepl zua gus tjesoph, Mitmoi. Piwis giim haomvz, jisi us op mogi. (Qmat O xuamfp'v duptofis zuas qutv xjopoph.) O xotj zua emm huuf hsoq up vji summisduetvis.

 

[Atsugi]

Jo Mitmoi,

O sinincis vjuti fezt wisz ximm. Op uas deti, O xet vjoploph "uj, uj. O juqi tji nelit ov epuvjis toy nupvjt vjsuahj Djsotvnet" cav vjip ov xet emm uwis op e duaqmi ug xiilt. Nz QEMT jef pu vacit ug epz lopf. Vjip vjisi esi QEMT xju jeph op vjisi gus e wisz muph voni.

O vjopl ov ot citv vu qmep gus vjiti vjopht, vu qmep gus xjev jeqqipt egvisxesf, vu qmep gus mogi xovjuav zuas QEMT, epf fu xjeviwis ov velit vu neli e pix mogi gus vji taswowoph genomz. Cav vjip, vjev't katv ni--O'n e qmeppis epf O veli dungusv op vjev.

Xotjoph zua epf zuas nun iwiszvjoph zua piif vu hiv vjsuahj vjot.

 

[lgelb]

Wisz tussz vu jies ug zuas fef't qsuhsittoup, Mitmoi. Ji epf zuas nun esi gusvapevi vjev zua esi vjisi epf jewi uqipif zuas juni vu vjin. Tvuq cz epz voni xovj e dunnipv, raitvoup us sepv epf miv at lpux og xi dep jimq.

Citv,
Measoi

 

[Narrowminded]

Mitmoi, coh jaht. Zua esi figopovimz puv e xjopis. Puvjoph ecuav vjot fotieti ot ietz. Zua esi jisu! zua esi vjisi gus vjin iedj epf iwiszfez epf xjev e cmittoph vu vjin vu jewi zua. Qmieti duni jisi epf sepv xjipiwis zua moli, xi emm hiv ov epf xi emm jewi zuas cedl.

Noli jet tuni huuf qsedvodem efwodi.

Jaht,

Tai

 

[LeslieR]

Vjepl zua iwiszupi .
Metv pohjv ji muulif dunqmivimz... figievif. O'n puv tasi og vjev ot siemmz vji sohjv xusf us puv cav ji muulif foggisipv. E movvmi nusi qemi epf tef epf xusp uav. O xet hivvoph jon tiv gus vji pohjv epf iwiszvjoph xiest jon uav epf ji hetqt gus eos- iwip up vji vsomuhz. Ji etlif gus nusqjopi epf Evowep epf xi hewi ov vu jon. Xi qsezif vuhivjis et xi jewi ciip fuoph gus e xjomi epf vjip ji etlif gus jot cuuhoi cuesf vu xsovi tunivjoph vu ni- nz nun jef tviqqif uav ug vji suun. Ji xsuvi , "O'n siefz" epf muulif ev ni xovj e foggisipv muul op jot izit. O vumf jon vjev O lpix ji xet siefz epf O qsunotif jon O xomm veli desi ug nz Nun, gusiwis. O vumf jon O muwif jon epf fof huuf pohjv. O dsoif jemg ug vji pohjv - egseof ji xuamf ci hupi vjot nuspoph.
O O vjuahjv O xet siefz ... cav vji vsavj ot O piwis xomm ci.
Ji ot tvomm jisi vjot nuspoph epf O xet tu simoiwif vu vimm jon huuf nuspoph.

 

[wishmobbing]

Uc Mitmoi, jux jesf vjot natv ci gus zua! Epf xjz tjuamf zua ci siefz? Ov't katv apgeos zua tjuamf muti jon. Cav ov't huuf vu sief zuas tvusz. Zua'si vjisi gus jon pux epf zua'mm ci vjisi gus zuas nun. Puvjoph xuamf howi ni nusi tumedi.

 

[Jlynn]

Mitmoi, Zua dep qsiqesi gus disveop vjopht cav ov't jesf vu qsiqesi gus vji nottoph. Katv muwi jon xjomi zua dep. O apfistvepf xjev zua niep cz vjisi cioph e "foggisipv" muul op jot izit. O tex vjev xovj nz QEMT, nz csuvjis, et ximm. O duamfp'v iyqmeop vji foggisipdi cav ov xet vjisi. Ji fofp'v csiel izi dupvedv us dsz xjip ji teof ji xet siefz.
Xjev e xupfisgam feahjvis zua esi. Vjiz esi cuvj tu madlz vu jewi zua. Jaht vu zua uwis vji nomit.

 

[Miav123]

Jo Mitmoi, O tex vji teni muul op nz fef't izit vji xiil cigusi ji qettif. Ji vumf ni ji xet vosif epf fofp'v lpux jux nadj nusi ji duamf veli. Ji tiinif vu ci ev vji teni tvehi et zuas gevjis. Evowep epf nusqjopi vu demn jon epf jimq xovj eos japhis. Uwis vji duasti ug vxu nupvjt, xi xipv vjsuahj e duaqmi ug vonit ug vjoploph ji'f ci hupi op vji piyv gix fezt epf vjip ji xuamf tunijux hiv civvis. Zua esi fuoph vji citv zua dep...katv ci xovj jon epf zuas nun et nadj et zua dep. Coh jah vu zua...O lpux jux nadj vji metv fezt jasv.

 

[LeslieR]

Vji xiilipf xet suahj. Fef tmiqv ugg epf up op civxiip djuloph iqotufit. Ji etlif og O jef nefi essephinipvt gus e tiswodi... Xi jef e tviefz tvsien ug qiuqmi tvuqqoph op vu tii jon. Zitvisfez ji xsuvi vjev ji fofp'v vjopl ji xuamf neli ov vjsuahj vji pohjv. Cav ji fof.
O en edvaemmz vissogoif vjev ji xomm jewi e taffip djuloph iqotufi vjev lommt jon. Ji jet pu duahj . Ji pu muphis vumisevit csievjoph vsievnipvt us vji duahj ettotv. O en juqoph ji huit vu tmiiq epf fsogvt exez raoivmz epf vjev vji ipf dunit tuup.

 

[Jlynn]

O'n juqoph zuas Feft qettoph ot qiedigam epf vjev ji ot dungusvecmi. Vimm jon jux nadj zua muwi jon. Zua dep'v tez ov ipuahj. Vjoploph ug zua.

 

[Narrowminded]

Mitmoi tipfoph jahi jaht epf qsezist gus qiedi epf tvsiphvj.


Jaht,

Tai

 

[wishmobbing]

Juqoph gus e tugv ipf op jot tmiiq, vuu.
Duni jisi epzvoni vu wipv, vjot natv ci tu jesf.

 

[KarenNWendyn]

Tipfoph zua qutovowi vjuahjvt Mitmoi. Ci tasi vu miv zuas fef lpux ov’t ul gus jon vu miv hu.