Independance Conspiracy

[bigmark1954]

I am really pissed off, but will try to go easy on your ears.:-(

Last week my son went on vacation and took his wife and 3 daughters with him. The oldest daughter stayed with us because she had some dance class rehearsals and didn't want to miss out, she is 14 and absolutely beautiful.

My son's wife is 23 and he is 41, two of the four daughter are with her. The older two came from a previous relationship. His wife came from a less than ideal upbringing. She now has money and knows everything thanks to google and my wife. She spends roughly 600-700 dollars a month on her nails and eyelashes. She just talked my son into buying two new cars and on and on and on.

I told my wife and granddaughter that we were going out to eat at one the GD's favorite places. We go out to get in my truck and my wife starts pleading with me to go in her car and she would drive. I said why? She said because my son is not comfortable with me driving his daughter.

That is BULLCRAP, my son would never do that to me, but his gold digging know it all wife would. I was real butthurt (the worst kind of hurt) for a few days, then it switched to being PISSED OFF. It has been about a week and I just can't let it go. I have even lost sleep over it, and I can't even speak....so I can't tell them how I feel about it. My bird fingers still work fine.......so maybe??

Anyway.... I can still drive safely and passed the Progressive Insurance driving test with an A! My wife and son took the same test when we switched insurance. She got a B-, and he got a C. I am not in a wheel chair yet and am Bulbar onset.

I truly think my wife was involved in this sh!t because I don't think my daughter-in-law is intellegent enuff to come up with it by herself. My wife has been indicating to me that she is worried about me driving.

Any of you guys had similar issues? I am smart enuff to know when I am a danger to others with my driving.

They will pry my steering wheel from my cold dead fingers. I will stop on my own when the time comes that I cannot drive safely.
RANT OVER

 

[Atsugi]

Hmm. Three things come to mind:

1. "I am smart enuff to know when I am a danger to others with my driving."

The last time I rode with my dad driving, it was scary as sh&t. He had no idea his reactions were slow, his aim was not precise, and he just didn't notice cars and people and stuff around him. But he SWORE he saw everything and was driving well, and he refused to give up his keys, even for a day.

2. "My wife has been indicating to me that she is worried about me driving."

WHY would she say such a thing?
A. She's fallen under DIL's spell.
B. She doesn't know how to judge your driving.
C. It's true. She IS worried about your driving.

3. "They will pry my steering wheel from my cold dead fingers."

You might get that wish!

The bottom line--in my eyes--is to decide what kind of relationship you want to have with your wife in the coming weeks, months, and years, and then answer the issue with that as your goal.

 

[KimT]

Mark,

First, I'm so glad you can still move around, drive, and do other activities.

I wish I had family to drive me places. I can still drive but driving does a number on my back and neck. I'd gladly turn over the driving to others if they would ask. A couple of ladies from church drove me to clinic a few times and I feared for my life. These were not old ladies, just crappy drivers. I think I also have a control issue and have been independent for so long it was hard to let other people drive my car, take wrong turns despite the navigation system and me telling them where to go.

I feel the same way about cleaning my house. Nobody can keep it as clean as I did and I could pop an Oxy and clean it......but I know I would risk feeling worse the next day and maybe doing damage.

Can you communicate to your wife exactly what is bothering you and, most important, WHY? Maybe she is feeling pressure from son and DIL or maybe she just wants you to stop driving. Either way, you deserve the truth.

I'm sorry. This disease is bad enough physically but the toll it takes emotionally is just plain cruel.

 

[DaChief]

Choose your battles. I will drive if it is just me. I let my wife drive otherwise. It's easier than getting in a head butting contest and I can communicate with her while traveling using my devices since I can no longer speak. If I drive, there is no possibility of conversation.

 

[WendyWooG]

It's a concern I think many cals have especially when there are going to be children in the car, if they don't feel comfortable it's their right to not get in the car with you. If you still want to drive yourself and you are certain you are safe it's your right to carry on. It's a personal choice. It's not fair to be angry with them for being worried.

If you want to prove to them you are still safe, retake the test or get an independent evaluation.

I am limb onset and stopped driving early on, if I couldn't react quickly enough to save myself when falling I knew I would not be able to react quickly enough when driving to avert an accident.

You have my sympathy in that it's hard to give up your independence, and really not nice to have others doubt your abilities. It sucks but please don't let it sour your relationships with family

Hugs wendy

 

[notBrad]

I think what you should do is let them drive and just be the back seat driver from hell! Don't know about you but I relish the chance to announce every situation as though the driver ( my wife) is an imbecile oblivious to every car/truck/dog/ca/squirrel/etc/ on the road.

When riding with the wife's grandfather ( think Jersey Sicilian retired to Tamarac Florida) I wouldn't say a word because I was working on trying not to leave little turds all over the back seat.

My father was the worst. After every near miss with a tanker or other huge heavy vehicle with no way to overcome momentum he'd lean over and say " boy, we really scared him"

seriously though, I fought relinquishing the keys until I had to and I was right about it.

 

[Narrowminded]

Mark I'm sorry you feel so upset over your wife's comment. I'm a CALS and I have to say, it was very hard to tell Brian that he wasn't safe to drive anymore. I'm guessing that she used DS as the scapegoat so you would not be mad at her.

I held my breath on many a trip, trying not to take his independence away, but it scared the bageebas out of me. He thought he was still fine too. Maybe your wife is willing to ride with you, but just didn't want to put your granddaughter at risk.

Please try to understand that us CALS try so very hard to help you keep your independence as we love you so very much. Its a very fine line we walk. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, but just didn't know how to say it.

Hugs,

Sue

 

[Arlee]

Mark Its definitely a conspiracy! I went through a few days of the same thing, One day I brought my cane out with my walker. when she started asking why Im bringing my cane, I said to her its not a cane no longer its my speed control! Ive documented well over a million and a half miles of driving without the first ticket in almost 50 years. I have forgotten more about driving than most people will ever know. (among other things) And I will be the first to pull over when I can no longer drive safe!. I also passed the Insurance driving test, with flying colors. I told the lady in charge I twisted my ankle. I passed the point of keeping my mouth shut and biting my tongue. Once I knew I was a gonner I set everybody straight. I have a handful of months not years to live. I'll be danged if Im going to be shamed into submission for anything ! Besides, the last person in this world I would ever jeopardize is my G C . or anybody else. I feel your pain buddy. I have a good joke for you, you will love it. (BTW I'm not a OTR driver)
Arlee