Come For Tea

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Aly the posts made me laugh too:) I sure wish my legs looked like those! Going to soak in the tub with maybe a nice glass of wine.
 
Joni sounds luxurious. Need to take my throbbing toe and have a glass of wine, but after I have done the school run, or the cops might be on to me. I already walk like a drunk :0
 
Aly, help. I'm dying. I have no idea which Barry (our own Barry here? the hanging man out the window playing sad jazz?) (gee, it it a saxaphone?, sigh) And Aly, I need to find Barry's post with legs slipped in it. And glamorous shoes? I have to see this picture, as my mind cannot bend around it. Now, Aly. I am serious. What kind of tea are you drinking? Should you be drinking this substance at all? It may cause sudden unexplained sighing.

Stay out of places on the way to Olivia's University where you can lose her, okay? An earthquake you can't help. Forgetting Olivia at a rest stop is the big one. Now I need to find a certain post and figure you out...sigh.
 
Where is this post? And good, Joni can testify for your visions. Thank you, Joni. Tell Aly to hold off on the wine. Off...
 
Yea Aly No alcoholic beverage for You! You might forget where the university is:D
 
I need advise today. I'm sorry to rain on the party but I'm very sad and feeling very lonely. Today I talked to my mom and I'm so scared. She said that her legs are getting worse and her hands are really bad. One hand she can't use and the other is getting that way also. She said its going fast and she is scared. She is going for stem cell treatment to Germany this saturday she leaves. I will go see her March 2 for two weeks. I don't know how I can handle it when I go. I have to be strong and I don't know how. I feel like I'm dying inside. She has a big group als meeting with the doctors on march 4 and I will be going to it. How do I stay strong for my parents and not cry. I last say her when she was healthy 3 years ago. I'm going to help them move up to me so I can take care of them. Please help me I don't know what to do and I have no one
but this group to talk to. My daughers are in denial and my boyfriend has his own problems he listens but can only do so much. Thanks for listening sorry its so long.
sandy
 
Sandy I'm sorry you are feeling lonely and sad. Are you taking something for your depression? I had to get something to take to keep my crying at bay. If not you probably need to see a dr soon, so you can get something. You know sometimes it is hard to be the strong one all the time. There are still times when I am maybe still a little in denial, and when I realize where we are it makes me so sad. Worrying about how i am going to handle all as it comes along. Just know we are here for you! (((HUGS)))
 
Thanks Joni. Yes I take zyban but its not helping me. I was taking it for smoking to start off with but that didn't work and than I started to feel better, happier in my life so I went off of it. Than when my mom found out she had als than I started smoking more and more depressed. So started up again zyban but nothing. I don't know if its because I am so depressed or what. I think when I get back from my parents visit I will go see someone. I really need to let it out. Your a sweet lady. I love all of you. You all make me happy and I love coming here. Thanks for being a friend!
 
Sandy, it's my opinion that you have no need to try not to cry. Grief, unless your parents are extremely self contained and hate the sight of emotion, is both normal and healthy. When March 2 arrives and you see them, and go to their clinic, you will find that the professionals are used to having the extremely upset patients and also their families. You seem to be placing a restriction on your emotional outlet that is very stringent.

Now, I know you have a plan for them to come to you... but your daughters are in denial and your boyfriend isn't expected to help. What do you envision as your mother's caregiver? Are you working part or full time, and will that change if it's the case? Will your dad be doing the bulk of the care with your back-up help?

And, finally, do you have close friends who have already volunteered help in concrete ways? A church perhaps offering help?

I'm not asking to make you feel more fear, but trying to get a grasp of what is already in place or what might happen to help you. Meanwhile, I think that other than do what you can (if anything) to get some help set up, you should give yourself permission to let it out, and believe that there will be professionals at the clinic (an ALSA person--a Social Worker) who will help you in many ways. Contact the ALSA in your own area and let them know you expect your mom and dad. They may offer to come and see what may be done in your home to prepare. And give yourself grace.

Ann xoxo
 
Sandy you may have to try several different antidepressants until you find one that really helps you. Once when I took one of the different ones that did not agree with me, I actually nearly rammed someone with my buggy at walmart...lol had to come off that one. I love this forum and all my new friends that sometimes feel closer than some family! Glad to be your friend...
 
Thanks so much Ann. You and Joni are a big part of my day. I look forward to talking to you both. I feel I made good friends in you both and wish we could meet in person.
I have found a place that deal with elderly people with all sorts of things even als. They are a senior building and I have checked them out. I live in an apartment. I want my parents to have the best care possible. There is a place they can walk, a swimming pool which my mom loves and activities. It is beautiful. I want that for them. It is about 20 mins from me. So I can go at night and help. Right now I dont' work because I also was out of work for 1 year due to hip problems and surgery for the hip. Still not right but thats okay. I worry about my mom and dad than myself. I think my daughter is so scared of it. She is the first grandchild and very close to them so its hard for her. She gets like me chocked up.
I pray everynight for you, joni, all the people her and my parents.
Ann you are an inspiration to me. You have als and you are a fighter. My mom is also and with that I keep the faith.
My prayers and thoughts to you and Joni.
Sandy
 
Sandy I think that Ann has a good point about letting it out if it needs to come out. I will tell you a wee story and will cry typing it but oh well.

I was doing Clinical trials in Oncology. one of my patients was exactly the same age as me. We had lots in common and got on very well during her Chem fo Bowel cancer. One trial visit she was due to have her CT scan reviewed for sizing of her mets. She came so happy with her wine bottle under her arm to celebrate. I was with her and holding her hand when the doctor told her that she only had abot 3 weeks as things had spread to her lungs. She grabbed me and I could feel myself falling apart. She was my very first cancer patient. The oncologist looked at me and said that it was fine if I needed to cry. Let it all out. I cried and cried with the patient. After, the doctor smiled at me and said T"hats why you need to work here Aly. You GET it. "
Tears are healing, tears let the flood gates of emotion out. Sometimes keeping us from exploding. You just cry Sandy, whenever you want and whenever you need. It natural , healthy and sometimes can actually help heal.
Love you my sweet, and will be praying hard for you and your mum. What a lucky mum to have such a wonderful daughter. I bet she is proud.
 
Thank you to all of you. Wow that story did make me cry and your kind words. I love all of you. I'm the one who is proud of my mom. She made me who I am today and I owe her everything. We had not talked for many years for alot of things but when my grandmother died of colon cancer it brought us back together. I'm blessed to have her in my life. I have wonderful parents who I love with all my heart and soul. I am the only child and for all they have done for me I owe them everything. I want the best for them and I will make there life happy!
Thanks to all of you for everything. All your support means the world to me. So now I must go and get my tissues so I can wipe my computer. lol
Thank you.
 
Got to give a shout out to our angels Ann and Aly. Both of you amaze me daily.
I aspire to be something close to what the two of you are. There is a special place for you when
everything here is all said and done.
 
But Liz Girl, I've got a ton of gray hair. Just a warning... I think Aly is MUCH younger, however, and a blond.

Aly, I love your story. You are so special. Tender instead of tough, and funny to boot. Speaking of footwear. Barry's heels were awfully high.

Well, good night, all. I've laughed myself silly and then cried. I wish everyone sweet dreams... unless you're in AU or New Zealand, in which case, drive carefully.
Much love.
 
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