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Jason's Dream

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On My Own
Well, tonight I went to my first ALS support group. I met two people who had lost loved ones to this horrific disease. One of the things they were noting was that it was unlike any other death they had known. When thier loved one passed, they had told them that they were tired and wanted to go to sleep now, and they went peacefully in thier sleep.

Tonight, out of the blue, Jason said he was tired and ready for bed. Totally not the norm. Broke my heart to hear and has me scared that I just said good night to my sweetheart for the last time. I brought our children in to tell him good night, had them hug and kiss him, and tell him they love him. I kissed him and told him I love him, I always have, I always will, then tucked him into bed, and put the face mask on his face (for his bi-pap machine). My mom is now watching our children in another room of the house, why I sit beside my sweetheart. I don't think I will be sleeping tonight. I am soo scared we said good night my love, for the last time.

If we didn't, nothing hurts in telling your sweetheart and having your little loves tell thier daddy they love him very much. Just really hope I am wrong and that tonight is only good night and not good bye.
 
Oh, Becca, I wish I could be there to hug you and hold your hand through this night. It must be so scary to think that the inevitable is about to take place, and cannot imagine ever thinking that we are ready for it. I don't know what to say to help you, but just know you are not alone. Love, Jo
 
Thank you Jo. Just can't go to sleep. I am just sitting by his bed, watching his chest rising up and down.. scared its going to stop. I soo hope I am wrong and hope that I will think I was just being dumb tonight.. but for tonight.. I am really scared.. I am not ready.. no matter how much I want him released from his pain.. I am soo not ready! :*(
 
Thinking of you and I hope it is a good night.
 
Thank you Barry. I appreciate it. I hope it is a good night as well.
 
Jason is so lucky to have you. I looked at your album of photos of you, Jason, and your darling children. Your devotion to him just shines! Your kids will remember him through the pictures and the stories you will tell them. Let us hope you have the chance to make many many more memories for them. Wishing peace and strength for you tonight, dear Becca.
 
Thank you dear friend. I really appreciate you, Jo. Just really hoping I am wrong and that we have many days ahead of us still. Not ready to say good bye to my beloved. <3
 
Becca I just wanted you to know that I too am thinking of you and Jason, I will be Praying for you and in my spirit holding your hand this night. You are not alone you both are surrounded with Love. May you feel the Peace that knows no bounds and Hope, Sending Big Hugs and Love to both you and Jason.
 
Thank you Di. Just really hope I am wrong and will be ever soo glad to say tomorrow morning.. I just panicked.. that is what I am hoping for.
 
Hoping you are both still there, breathing, sleeping, dreaming better dreams
 
You are such a wonderful wife & mom. My thoughts are with you. I know how bad it hurts. Stay strong and you need to get rest & eat to stay strong. The whole family needs you to be right now.
 
I'm praying for you and Jason. I hope today you find peace.
 
Becca, you have went through so much, I hope he just needed some extra sleep..
 
Praying for you and hope all is okay.

Dana
 
Thinking of you and your family. Sending you lots of strength and peace. Yasmin
 
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