The House is Too Quiet

It's now one week since his funeral. 11 days since he passed and it really gets harder as the days pass not easier. I know I read that from other posts and I realized it before but now I'm living it. Our son is back at school and in one month he will go to Europe to study abroad for the summer.

Today I picked up a fortune cookie that we had brought home from Panda Express when we could still eat out and that we had brought home for the parrot to eat. When I broke it open my fortune read "Find release from your cares. Have a good time". It just made me bawl and I thought I would not be going back to Panda Express for a long time. I still put my fortune on the refrigerator to look at when I wanted to know that he was still thinking about me and that he'll always be in my heart.

So sorry for all you've been through and are going through. You're a very strong woman to have been there for him through all of this. You're in my prayers!

I'm sorry too Georgia. He's watching over you. God's comfort to you Sweetheart.

Georgia, I am so sorry thigs are so tuff now. My Prayers are with you for Comfort and Peace in your heart. Thinking of you often. {{HUGS}}

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely and that you're finding things too quiet. Thinking of you....Yasmin.

So sorry Peach, I know I can't even imagine but am thinking about you.

G.P. I find comfort knowing this

2 Samual 12

The Death of David’s Son

And the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and it became ill. 16 David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, “Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!”

19 When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?”

And they said, “He is dead.”

20 So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.”

22 And he said, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the Lord[a] will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ 23 But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

Hugs to you Georgia, I know how quite it is.

Peachy my heart aches for you. you will always have all of us, but that is small comfort I know. Love you.

Ive tried to post on this thread a few times.....but sometimes words are just so useless

I know the feeling and silence. Not hearing the vent.... Its horrible.
So sorry Peach. I feel your pain. Been 3 weeks since my honey died. WOW. seems like ten minutes ago.

I know, Georgia, I know exactly.

Your husband's memorial services are an end and also a beginning.
I'm not going to be one of those who say "go out and meet people." That's partly obvious, partly impossible to imagine.

But perhaps there needs to be a break in routine, a change of scenery, and a ritual to mark the passing INTO a new life.

When you're ready: May I recommend going to Europe in advance of your son? At least get a tan in Jamaica. Perhaps that will set you in a new direction. A quiet house and lonely dinners are not recommended for the living.

I'm still not used to it. In a way, I hope I never do get totally accustomed to a quiet house. If I do, I might become content with being alone. It would be too easy to stay home, away from life. Right now, I have scout meetings (advancement chairman), Shakespeare classes and ALS Caregiver support group meetings on week nights. It keeps me involved in the world instead of holed up at home. I hope you find your niche. You're in my thoughts.

*hugs* dear one. <3

I can remember that first week so vividly. Going to bed, alone in the dark, staring at a blank wall.. thoughts, lists of things I needed to get done, memories of us, my head constantly in a conversation to Jason,.. all the while, the deafening silence from not having his air mattress, the oxygen, or bipap machine running. It was too quiet and no matter how tired I was, I couldn't seem to figure out if it was the deafening silence that kept me up, or the fact that my brain would not shut up... but the loneliness in bed... its the worse.

Jason use to rub my head when I got migranes. Now that he is no longer here, when I get migranes, its as if I talk to him.. wishing he was here to rub it away, to hold me and comfort me like he use to, to smell his sent, to hear him breathing.. to see his precious eyes, see his beautiful face, or hear his heart-warming laugh with his great sense of humor.

I'm so sorry you are hurting my friend. Wish I could say it gets better. Please know, that you are not alone. There are others here trying to wade through this life without are sweethearts 1 day, 1 moment at a time.

*warm embrace*

~ Becca

I wish I could say it gets better. It has been 5 months for me, and it is just like first day. I cry, i scream, i hurt, i want him back so bad. everything reminds me, a song on the radio (i dont listen anymore), his favorite TV shows I still DVR, Not a day moment goes by that I dont think of him, or think i hear him, or reach for him in the night. Its a living hell, but they say the first month is the worst. When I find out who "they" are, i'm gonna punch them in the face, cuz the second, third, fourth, fifth has been no change. We have eachother here who are in many stanges of the same feelings. So As long as we keep talking... we will keep healing. Just super slow, i guess. Know we are all here with you, and all understand.