What is wrong with me?

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brooksea

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I want people to offer their help, but now I have respite and just want to be left alone!

A friend of my husband's has offered to cut some wood with our log splitter early Saturday. HELLO! I would like to sleep late. I don't have to get up to get my son ready for school on a Saturday.

How do I tell this very persistent person "NO?" He's dating my other SIL that lives 3 houses down and by the way I never see her or hear from her and she doesn't offer anything til now that my husband is gone out of town and nobody has to try to understand him or help him in any way or you get the picture.

Yes, it would be a great gift, BUT I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!

Y'all please tell me it's OK that I don't want this help. I feel so guilty!

I know this guy has planned this (he doesn't like his plans interrupted and will bug the shit out of me).

I WANT TO SCREAM!
 
One, don't feel guilty. Two, f@#$*ing bad if he doesn't like his plans interrupted. Three, tell him thank you but, NOT THIS SATURDAY.
 
Right! and if he shows up anyways... call the cops.
 
Definitely tell him thanks but no thanks this weekend. You are getting some much needed rest and that won't do it! He'll just have to change his plans!
 
No is the smallest but the hardest word to say

i have a problem with this little word but have learnt to say it alot more just recently ( its a bit like a sugar rush when you actually do it )

Be strong and enjoy your well earned rest Saturday morning

x Mary x
 
Help is great, but respect is better. I know that these days it is very hard to schedule our own lives as we are all supposed to be able to juggle on the fly continuously, so planning to offer help when your day is already way too full is never easy. Getting help at a time that makes help NOT painful is equally not easy.
Maybe if this person understands that EARLY Saturday is not an option but say after 10 or 11 is ok and let him know why then there could be some room for adjustment? Good deed doers are hard to come by and offers denied tend not to be repeated, ever.
Then, you can say as much as I really need this and appreciate the offer, I need my sleep more so thanks, but no thanks (should there be no moving the mountain.)
NO one out there knows what we need to do just to get through a day so unless we shed a light, they will always wonder what is "wrong with us?"
Hope you get some afternoon "free woodpilin'"
 
Hey Brooksea,

Just tell him the truth, any other Saturday, or later in the day and a brief explanation for courtesy. Let him know you get little sleep on a consistent basis and sleep trumps getting the wood split early saturday AM when youu FINALLY have some respite.
When I got breaks i wanted to be left alone too and I liked it.
 
I am with the rest give him a later time girl..sleep in you deserve it!
 
Tell ghim that would be great, but right now you need rest because you have sleeping problems and can't go to sleep til 3am and sat is your sleep in day and it is the only pleasure you can get right now. Make it later in the day and don't be home. I think prople want to help and don't know what to do or say.
 
Take a day and go to a hotel and pamper yourself. Sleep in hit the mini bar, sit in the hot-tub get a massage. and then when you go home you can smile at all the wood that is split.
 
My real problem with this is that I will now have to do a hurry up cleaning job in the back yard and call a neighbor to get him to make sure the log splitter is working correctly! I had intended on relaxing for one solid week! HA!

The guy called me today and indicated they wanted to come early to "get it over with." LOL ...and "not waste a whole day." Gosh, I really wish he would've gotten to the point! :shock:

(I really do appreciate the help, but I wish they would've waited til my husband was here. I know he will be upset that he didn't get to see them.)

I feel as if I'm being an ingrate.

Well, off to get the blower and weed wacker!
 
CJ STOP! It is OK to let this be about YOU! So he comes and the yard is messy while he's splitting wood... so what?! If you must say "sorry the yard is a mess" then go for it but jeez-louise girl, cut yourself some slack! Personally I'd tell him "Thanks for the offer but Saturday morning just isn't going to work for me." But if you can't do that, PLEASE don't feel the need to tidy for someone coming to help you!
 
Screw that! Call him back and say "Sorry, but I really need the rest. Thanks for the offer, but no." PERIOD.

If they don't like it--too damn bad. How long has it been since you've had a day to do what YOU want? TAKE it damn it!
 
LOL Thanks y'all! My weed whacker quit after 60 seconds. I kid you not. I called my dad to troubleshoot and he basically told me I had lost my mind for trying to clean up. He also told me not to call the neighbor to make sure the splitter is working and let the guy that's coming deal with it. So, I'm done!

As a matter of fact, I don't have to be here Saturday. I think I will take my son to the big pancake house for breakfast and find something we can do that morning. I mean, I will feel awkward being in the house while they are out there working. And besides, I'd rather not see my SIL from down the street that has conveniently dropped off the face of the earth. I know she will come down, as she is dating this guy. If she wants to split wood, more power to her. Go for it! ;)

Well, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!
 
Go to a bunch of garage sales, or a flea market if you have good weather. Or a movie. So glad you listened to your Dad! HUGS Lori
 
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