Skin is boiling!

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skipper66

Very helpful member
Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
1,527
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
IL
City
SMALL TOWN IN
There was so post by a guy called Heartbroken something. I wish he could be banned from the forum for the lack of compassion to his wife. I can't believe how heartless and absolutely selfish and self-centered he is. His wife can't talk, eat, and has trouble breathing. He wants to leave her and take care of someone else. You can't tell me she doesn't need his help and his companionship. He is one twisted sick individual in my book. I put him on my block/ignore list. I or this entire world for that matter have no use for someone like him.
 
I saw Kim, couldn't quite work it out. Misguided at best. Maybe running away from things he can't handle on his own doorstep? Who knows, there are a lot of strange folk out there. Feel sorry for his poor wife.
 
Most likely a scammer looking to take advantage of someone that's lonely or desperate.
 
I don't think he should be banned. I think he wants to fix something that cant be fixed..and maybe trying to do something he thinks she would want him to do. Misguided is probably right. Maybe she wants to be left alone for a bit. Who knows. His heart seems to be in the right place and the wrong place at the same time...but we are not idiots.
 
The writer writes and the reader reads. Each party interprets from his/her perspective. My interpretation of his post is that he is truly heart broken and grieving and wants to make things right - somewhere - anywhere. I don't think he is malicious. Grief does strange things to we humans; I have said/done/written things in my own grief that ordinarily would be out of character and out of whack. (shades of H1- and for which I apologized)

I won't get my knickers in a knot over it, even if it turns out his intent is indeed malevolent.
Life's too short.
 
Well said Dear One. Who knows. I admit that I don't trust a man who's wife is sick that want's to give a complete stranger respite rather than spend time with his wife. I've just seen too much I guess. No big deal.
 
Don't think that I am speaking for Pie, I am not, a big part of it for me is that I remember a time when this for um was a different place. I know others don't see it this way and that is fine but I do. There were several really good men who gave much of their time to keep it safe, keep it honest, keep it cleaned out. There was still the odd twitcher who annoyed people from time to time but by and large it was not overrun with the buffoons and depraved souls that seem to roost here in numbers now.
Nothing lasts forever, times change and people come and go but I've said it before and I'll say it again........it's basically a joke now, a poor excuse for what it was. So much of the goodness that was here is gone and it's a bloody shame. "Who knows" is too much the issue but that's what happens when you have a for um what is not mod erated diligently. Pie is not, I am not in a knot over any of these people, our time is worth more than that but neither did either of us just fall off a turnip truck.
 
Things have changed a lot in a very short time. But there's still many very good people here and there's good information here. Just seems like there's a lot of garbage that has to be weeded out. We have lost trust in what we read. What's sad is some of it might be like you said and just emotions getting in the way. We need some moderators. David needs some help.
 
I think that many of us are not giving the benefit of he doubt to anyone anymore and I find that truly sad. What if he actually was legit? Sometimes people reach out in different ways... maybe his wife is well cared for. If you don't like a post, question it NICELY or IGNORE IT!
 
I think that many of us are not giving the benefit of he doubt to anyone anymore and I find that truly sad. What if he actually was legit? Sometimes people reach out in different ways... maybe his wife is well cared for. If you don't like a post, question it NICELY or IGNORE IT!

Most respectfully Helen. If people just ignore posts then there is no forum. Not everyone I admit but many have lost faith and trust in this vehicle as a safe haven. That is an opinion which people have a right to hold.
The play nice and ignore technique is much easier preached than practised. Case in point: When some one brings up this topic rather allow a calm, honest discussion about it they inevitably are told that the shortcoming are if fact their own, that we just need to be nice or ignore and not post. In capital letters no less. I find the constant dismissal of my opinions and feeling about this subject in such a manner rude and would suggest that people take their own advise.
 
Sally - I think I understand what you are saying. Many of us are new here and just getting our feet wet whilst coping with new diagnoses and its fallout. I think Helen's remark (I may be wrong) was directed to Skipper and not to you.

You make valid points; you bring so much insight and fun and just plain caring to the forum. It's OK, in my book, that you help us newbies tow the line and maintain the integrity of the forum. Personally, I was sad (and aghast) that an uncooth comment was left in Heartbroken's visitor messages; it's not the least bit helpful. (in my opinion). You're right - human nature often includes knee jerk reactions - not easy to avoid it. Surely we can talk about these issues and not be dismissive of people (unless they're very clearly trolls and/or malingerers and/or wanna be's).

Please let me know, what you think we newbies can do to ensure the forum resumes its rightful place as a safe and inclusive haven for all.
 
Actually, my remark is something that our beloved Al would step in and say from time to time. I don't like the tone too many people have here on the forum, which is why I'm doing fbk more and the forum less.

I think a lot of newbies are getting turned off here, some rightfully so... they don't listen and don't need to be here. But so many people, myself included, lurked here for a long time before joining, and I felt welcomed and safe here. I'd rather have us deal with a few crazies (not that I think he was, just misguided a bit), if it helps others in the process. And I do think that if people get ignored after their answers are given and they keep posting, they'll stop. And pardon me for the CAPITAL letters, but I use them if I feel it warranted, and I do ignore most of the crap. But are you the self-appointed head of this place now? I think not.
 
Sorry to say but with the internet getting bigger & bigger and ways to connect getting easier & easier this sort of thing happens everyday to all sorts of different forums, chat groups, etc I would imagine. My Granny would have said "Take it all with a grain of salt" ;)
 
I just want everyone that I tried to erase a comment I put on Heartbroken's profile right after I posted it. I tried the edit button etc. I realized immediately after I wrote it that it was uncalled for. Also, his comment about some of being idiots was. We are all adults and shouldn't resort to insults or name calling. Also, I do respect everyone elses opinion on the matter. I however feel with every ounce of my being that this man is either a scammer or a heartless person. But, Helen is right that I am not in charge of this forum. So, if a person's question offends or angers me in the future I will put them on my ignore list instead of responding unfavorably. Helen, I respect the fact that you felt free to express your opinions even if we aren't on the same page. PS. Helen, I'm used to being screamed at even if its in capital letters on the computer. lol Hope you all have a good weekend. Kim
 
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