Shout out to the past CALS

[starente15]

Hi there. I dared to poke around to see how everyone was doing and immediately got overcome with grief.

I wanted to recognize how great it is that the past caregivers come back to help others. The knowledge gained by going through this journey is so valuable to those still on it. I don't know where my family would have been without the advice and support I received here. I also recognize how difficult it is (as I can't do it myself at this point). Your strength inspires me greatly.

 

[Atsugi]

Very good to see you back, Star. You're always welcome. How is it going?

 

[affected]

Lovely to see you post Star. Don't expect anything of yourself here.

How are you doing? You are still family to us xx

 

[poppies]

Hi Star, Mike and Tillie. I think of you and the other past CALS often. Hope you are all well and mending. x

 

[Atsugi]

Shout out to South Africa!

 

[affected]

We must email again Marg

I'm still standing, well most days anyways

 

[starente15]

I'm hanging in. Saturday's are always tough. For some reason, no matter what I'm doing in the evening, I end up looking at the clock seeing it close in on the time my father passed. Today is five months. Hard to believe. Hope everyone is doing well. I promise to pop in from time to time to check on you.

 

[affected]

Star 5 months is such a short time.

I can assure you that one Sunday you will realise you hadn't seen that time approaching the day before. More and more often that will happen.

It won't mean you forget your father in any way, but you will find you are not marking time that way anymore.

Do pop in here, and of course on a Sat evening you can check the koalas on fb to help give a smile xxx

 

[Green Queen]

Hi Star.
Whilst you watch that clock on a Saturday night, try remembering something awesome about your dad in healthier times.
Until you find, as Tillie says, you aren't clock watching, it may help.

 

[starente15]

Thank you Tillie and Janelle. I'm hopeful that it will pass with time. If I have trouble picturing him I'll revert to the koalas. They always make me smile.

 

[affected]

It will Star

For months every Tuesday I knew how many weeks it had been, then I couldn't just say to myself how many weeks and would have to calculate, then I wasn't realising it every Tuesday. I don't know how long that took, but you kind of realise that the shock is fading and that you even smile with lots of memories instead of crying.

Big hugs, and yep the koalas help enormously!

 

[Barbie]

I know how you feel Star.


I was driving my car on my way to the hospital for my daughter (car accident) when Lonny died at home. there is a spot on the highway where I can see the hospital from the road and every time I am overcome with memories and feelings of that day. I drive by it at least once a week, sometimes twice and I have never not remembered.

 

[scaredwifetx]

Star it is so tough and I think everyone who loses someone has trigger spots or times. Mine is pulling myself into my driveway. Mom and my beloved dog of 15 years both in the last three months. I put a lot of my feelings aside and hide my grief well so Steve does not see it. He worries to much about me. I guess I will deal with it all later. Star you have been a rock through all of this and I pray that someday you will find peace and live a wonderful life. You certainly deserve it!

 

[texastc]

I did the same thing scared...hid mine...didn't want that to weigh on her along with everything else. You will deal when the time comes. I drive by the cemetery nearly every day coming or going...sometimes I don't think, but usually I do...lots of times I honk and say hi honeybunny...been 7 mo here.
tc

 

[gooseberry]

Almost 3 months for us. I hate to say it but the relief is immense. I was at the end of my rope trying to make it all happen. This was hands down the hardest caregiver role I have ever had. 2 parents and a sister with cancer were NOthing compared to the journey we had with ALS.

I miss Steve ever6 day but I dont miss this disease and the havoc it causes. On Memorial Day, Julien and I selected pictures and put them in a colllage frame and some others. Once the painting is done, I will put them up. We thought it was a good way to remember better times.