This last Christmas I painted glass ornaments and made beaded wire hangers for them. I painted and beaded polymer clay ornaments made with cookie cutters, (cats and hearts). The paint is called Alcohol Ink. Really nice and easy to work with. I gave them as gifts and the clay ornaments I used as tags on gift wrapped packages.
I work 4 to 5 hours daily except I'm in lending and not working much right now. And the last loan I closed ended up stressful. I want to go to work to get out of the house but I don't really want to work. I am afraid of the stress which is almost always a part of getting a loan, I shower, dress up and show up. Seeing the agents hustling around the office can get me down because that's not me anymore. But it use to be. Multi tasking was my thing. The more I did the more I could do. Now it takes me forever to accomplish something. I have a "to do" list and it feels good to check off the completed items, however long it takes.
I can still clean a lot of my house like sinks, toilets, dishes, counters, laundry. Keeping our home clean has always been a labor of love along with decorating it, painting furniture and buying garage sale "treasures" and changing them with paint or rust and patina finishes. I made concrete leafs and a concrete bench for our gardens. I was always creating. Not so much anymore. I do spend hours on Youtube watching these crafters and watercolor artists. I find I have many supplies but can't seem to start on a project. I am looking for my niche. I am contemplating using albums made from embellished manila folders and giving them to our local no kill to hand out with each adopted cat and dog. They would hold pertinent information regarding care and pockets for record keeping, i.e. vet bills, vaccination log etc. etc. The local no kill has stacks of paperwork and no organization so I have considered organizing them, doing the work from my home or office. We have our share of dogs and cats and can't bear to see an animal in need. It breaks my heart so I don't want to work in the shelter.
I use to play tennis at least 4 times a week. I ran and danced. I gardened and hit the estate and garage sales on weekends. I sang with the locale chorale and a quartet and octet. I was active putting on our concerts. Can't do any of these activities anymore. I walk a lot using my rollator and glad I can still do that. I have my husband and our pets, neighbors and friends, co-workers and family (except my two sisters
).
That being said, is it no wonder that it is difficult to reinvent our lives considering how much we all did? We all seem to have in common an energy and enthusiasm for life. 99% of the time I feel absolutely cheated. I can't dwell on it or I won't be able to get out of bed. This has changed me. And not for the better. I don't think I will ever be able to accept this. But for now it hasn't completely won. Just severely kicking my butt.
Chris