Crying everyday

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ccordone

Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
29
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
New York
City
northville
My husband has been newly diagnoses with ALS. Everyday I feel like cry and have for at least the last month or two. How do caregivers cope with this disease? I have an 8 year old and I am currently working full time. At the moment my husband can still heat up his food I leave for lunch. Feeling stresses.
colleen
 
I really understand...I was the same way for many months. your feelings are normal--but for your husband's sake and your child's sake, you have to get past this phase and move forward. it is not easy as you think about losing your love and the father of your child, but you have time now to spend with them and make it the best that it can be. as a cals, you have so much on your plate with little ones and working and the stress and worry of a progressing disease and what is going to happen next.

I suggest you talk with your doctor about anti-depressants or anxiety meds, and also find a therapist to talk with about your feeling. ALS is a family disease and you have to take care of your self also, because there is a lot on your shoulders right now and people are depending on you.

Some people are able to move forward out of sheer willpower, maybe that will be you, or maybe you have a strong family support group that can help you get through this initial period of shock. but I found that anti-depressants (a low dose) helped me control my emotions so I could sort them out and deal with them calmly. You are facing a crisis, and your whole world is being turned upside down. reach out for help. there is no shame in that.

Please stay in touch here. we care and we have all been there.
 
Barbie is so right about the meds. I cried for my husband, I cried for myself, I cried for my sons and for my grandchildren. If tears could cure ALS my husband would be cured. After you deal with the initial shock, there will continue to be tears but not as often. My life is so involved in being a caregiver. I realized very quickly that my crying was making my husband upset so I had to dry up the tears around him and put on a happy face. That was tough. Now I try to do my crying in the shower. I call that time "My shower of tears". You are overwhelmed right now and meds will help you through this journey. Please know there are many people here for you.
 
you might also check with your local ALSA group. i dont know about the one in your area but the one here has a grop meeting periodically just for cals. good place to talk face to face with others in your position.
 
I couldn't stop crying even before my diagnoses,my family Dr put me on generic Zoloft and even when the worst happened, I never shed a tear, the only time I cry(thank GOD) is when I laugh, (could be brain damage,I laugh a lot)I have planned my funeral, made my last wishes known and I am unbelievebly calm, I highly suggest trying a anti-depressant, best wishes
 
As someone who probably lives fairly close to you (hello neighbor), and one recently diagnosed with a wife and mother in law to take care of, I just want you to think and be aware that the one with ALS (me or your husband) feels very very guilty for being sick and putting SOs into anguish and depression. It kills me when I see my wife cry or stare out the window. I would give anything if she would be of good cheer and not for me but for herself.
 
Thanks for all your advise.
Colleen
 
Hang in there, my mother is also crying everyday for my dad (I cry everyday,however I don't live with them at this time). They will be moving in with me in the next few months so that my family can help my mom take care of my dad. I also tell my mom not to cry in front of my dad because we don't want him to feel bad. I am so sorry for your pain, but I think that the more you reach out to people, the better it will be for you. Please know that everyone is there for you and a lot of people don't know what to say or do, however if you ask for some help or emotional support, I'm sure you will get it. Warm hugs to you.
 
Hi Colleen,

I'm very sorry for your husband's diagnosis. You have had many responses to your post. One thing that has not been pointed out though is that since your husband's diagnosis is quite recent, you both are likely still in shock and coming to terms with ALS. For most people, this is actually the period of most fear, stress and anxiety. When you have lived with it for a longer period, you are very likely to have these feelings modify considerably. Although meds are one solution, acceptance and making the best of every day is another. You don't mention how long he has had symptoms or what his progression rate is. If it is slow you may have many happy years together.

Hoping this is the case,

John
 
My dad has ALS and I'm not his caregiver so I can't give much advice on the subject. But, I'm sure you have many family members and friends who would like to help out and also listen to you. The may just not know how to approach the subject. Bring it up with them and let them know how they can support or help you. Sending you a hug. Truly wish I could do more to help you and the others on here. I do pray for you all and care. Kim
 
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